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| 5:34
| Steve should mention that whenever he plays the morning theme Buzz dances from the newsroom to the studio like Christopher Walken. It takes Buzz the entire show to recover from it. Actually it takes all of us that long to recover from it. |
| 5:35
| The Joker, which we just heard before the show started, is an iconic song from the Steve Miller Band's 1973 album The Joker. The song topped the Billboard Top 100 in 1974. It's one of two Steve Miller Bands to feature the neologism (can Steve say that?) pompatus. Neologism is a coined word. |
| 5:36
| Miller claims to have invented the words epismetology (metathesis of epistemology) and pompatus. Usually the stuff in parentheses helps Steve understand what Mark has put on his page. He's going to have to call in because Steve can't be reading this stuff this early in the morning. |
| 5:37
| Mark Czerniec is on the phone. He didn't write any of this stuff, it's all Steve Miller. He came up with the word metathesis? Does Mark have squirrels running around on his keyboard typing while he's laying down? |
| 5:38
| Metathesis is the switching around of letters, like epismetology and epistemology. He claims to have coined pompatus but that might not be true after all. |
| 5:39
| The lyrics for the 1954 song The Letter by The Medallions go "Oh my darling, let me whisper sweet words of pizmotality and discuss the puppetutes of love." This is the good stuff that Mark wanted Steve to get to. Why didn't he go right for this? |
| 5:40
| Steve doesn't really care, Steve Miller is an ass. Steve used to like them too but his cut off starts at The Joker. Steve Miller Band lost him on Abracadabra, reach out and stab ya. |
| 5:41
| Steve's first concert was Steve Miller Band, opening for Iron Butterfly with the Edison Light Show working the concert, sitting cross-legged on the floor. That was when Boz Scaggs was in the band. |
| 5:42
| As soon as Steve Miller and Boz Scaggs parted ways they both got lame. "Watch out Chi-town"? C'mon! |
| 5:43
| Steve is taking Mark back to his days at the Kenosha Ice Arena where he saw Black Oak Arkansas, sitting cross-legged as well. That's how people used to do it at concerts. Now everyone stands like at Lollapalooza. |
| 5:44
| That seems like way too much standing. Steve watched some Lollapalooza performances on the AT&T Room, he couldn't believe these people were standing. Sit cross-legged, that's the way to go! |
| 5:45
| Steve watched Blues Traveler even though he thought that lead singer was in prison. He got busted for drugs or something but that doesn't matter in the music industry. As Buzz remembers it there were some gun charges as well, those are way worse. Although if you're in prison that's a great time to sharpen your harmonica skills. |
| 5:46
| After Blues Traveler Steve watched the Jon Butler Trio. The lead singer came out with those earrings that guys get that stretch their earlobes out. Why do guys get those? It doesn't seem like your ears are ever going to grow back. |
| 5:47
| Then the guy dedicated their set to the "indigenous people" which Steve thought meant him. The band is from Australia so maybe they dedicate all of their sets like that, for the Aborigines. Steve tired of the set very quickly. |
| 5:48
| Mark was just looking up John Popper, police pulled him over and found hidden compartments in his car that contained 4 rifles, 9 handguns, a switchblade, a Taser and night vision goggles. He wasn't charged though because all the weapons were registered to him and locked away. |
| 5:49
| Steve's not sure if the Blue Room footage was live or not, he couldn't really understand anything. Mark misses the days when we had a Wolfman Jack to give us all this information. |
| 5:50
| Steve's boys were at the show but he hasn't heard any reports from them. They thought Radiohead was awesome, that's all Steve knows Pete wasn't there either, maybe Steve should call Jim. He'll let Mark go, he probably has things to do. He doesn't know anything about Lollapalooza except that Smoking Popes played a show in conjunction with Lollapalooza. That's only because someone from that band used to live in his house. |
| 5:51
| Steve calls down to the newsroom. Jim did not go to Lollapalooza but he hung out outside to listen to Radiohead. You could actually hear fine since it's outdoors. Do they set up a stage at each end of the field where the Petrillo Band Shell is? |
| 5:52
| There are two stages where the Petrillo Band Shell is, one is smaller and one is really large. Jim has lost Steve here, can someone who was there call in? There's another field on the south end with a big stage and a smaller stage. That's near the Field Museum. |
| 5:53
| This is all very complicated, there are a lot of stages. Why do we let this Perry fella come in here and make a lot of money off of us? Why doesn't Jam just have him killed and then steal his name? He seems very easy to kill, he's wearing a scarf. |
| 5:54
| Steve is concerned that not one person has called in about Lollapalooza. Perhaps our phones have been turned off or perhaps our listening audience is not interested in this topic. Or the listeners know that Steve and Buzz are so competent that all of the blanks will be filled in. |
| 6:01
| Caller Gus is in Brookfield, heading to Joliet for work. Any animals escape from the zoo last night? Any more dead stingrays? That exhibit is closed and it should stay that way. If you're a little kid and your pet dies you don't get a new pet do you? |
| 6:02
| Gus thinks that the reason no one is calling about Lollapalooza is because they're all still sleeping. The only person who went to Lollapalooza and is awake right now is Ed Silha, who shouldn't have been here anyway since he's 40. |
| 6:03
| Gus wanted to say hi to Swifty. Swifty? Steve's former attorney Swifty? He doesn't live here any more, he moved to Rhode Island years ago. Swifty helped Gus out, he represented him once when he was in high school. He must have been helping Gus when he was supposed to be working for Steve. |
| 6:04
| Steve and Swifty sort of had a Hunter S. Thompson/Dr. Gonzo relationship so it's best that they parted ways. Steve did see him last year and he's doing good, he's remarried and living in Rhode Island. |
| 6:05
| Gus went to St. Rita and he saw Steve Dahl & Teenage Radiation at his prom. Steve remembers that show, there was something wrong with the crucifix right? It was in some state of disrepair. |
| 6:06
| So Gus just wanted to say that the Lollapalooza topic is good. He's just bored driving to work and wanted someone to talk to right? That's OK, Steve's son's do it to him all the time. |
| 6:07
| Steve and Swifty were co-dependent so it wasn't a good relationship. Plus Swifty got into that thing where he was moderating his drinking. That doesn't work if you're an alcoholic. The women behind that whole moderation thing ended up getting busted for vehicular manslaughter and went to jail. If you're an alcoholic you can't moderate, that's why you're an alcoholic. |
| 6:08
| News with Buzz |
| 6:09
| John McCain's newest campaign ad compares Barack Obama to Moses. The ad ends with Charlton Heston as Moses from The Ten Commandments. From the waters of the parted Red Sea comes Obama's often-mocked faux presidential seal. |
| 6:10
| McCain says the ad is meant to be humorous but Obama's campaign calls it "juvenile antics" Buzz has the whole thing if Steve would like to hear it. |
| 6:11
| Independent Joe Lieberman says that last week's ad comparing Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears is apt and that you couldn't ask for anyone better to be compared to than Moses. Lieberman's for McCain right? He's just a mouthpiece for him. |
| 6:12
| Paris Hilton's mom is weighing in on last week's McCain ad, she says it's a complete waste of money. Steve's pretty sure the Hilton's were McCain contributors. |
| 6:13
| This is a whole new kind of campaign ad though, Steve's pretty sure they're all supposed to be negative. There aren't any humorous campaign ads, it's not like Jib Jab. This Moses ad plays right into the religious right though, suddenly Obama is a false profit! And he's black! |
| 6:14
| President Bush begins his trip to Beijing today for the Olympics. Mayor Daley is also going but they're not traveling together. |
| 6:15
| The good news is that Beijing has officially ordered hotels and restaurants to remove dog meat from their menu. It's being stipulated though that dog meat is not a very common menu item. You can probably still get dog meat, you just have to know where to look for it. |
| 6:16
| Legendary Braves announcer Skip Caray has passed away at the age of 68. He died in his sleep on Sunday. He suffered health problems including congestive heart failure and diabetes, which he once said were brought on by years of high living. |
| 6:17
| 68 is pretty young though isn't it? Buzz has heard that if you can get to age 65 there's a good chance you can live another 10 to 15 years. It's sort of like a warranty on your car. It didn't work for Skip Caray though. Buzz is known for his high living, but not any more. There are Saturday nights but that's just to touch base. |
| 6:18
| Brett Favre has been reinstated by the Packers, this will be his 18th season. The Packers are still saying that Aaron Rodgers is their starting QB. Steve has a feeling that Brett will be able to earn his job back. |
| 6:19
| Freedom is in the offing for Gary Glitter (HEY!). He was jailed in Vietnam for the molestation of underage girls. He was trying to flee the country in 2005 when he was arrested at the airport. Might as well try to leave if you can right? He was sentenced to 3 years in prison after a 1 day trial. You have to think being in prison in Vietnam is not a good time. They don't even know Rock & Roll Pt. 2. They don't have sporting events to play it at. |
| 6:20
| Don't people go over there to have sex with underage kids? There's a brochure for that. |
| 6:21
| Details are in place in Milwaukee for the Bronze the Fonz celebration where a statue of The Fonz from Happy Days will be unveiled. That's kind of embarrassing. There will also be a parade featuring Henry Winkler. Buzz is a big fan of Happy Days. He also liked Laverne & Shirley. |
| 6:22
| Perhaps Buzz would like to go up to Milwaukee and cover the parade? He could ask Anson Williams aka Potsy how he feels about Henry Winkler being dipped in bronze. |
| 6:23
| Buzz remembers interviewing the guy who played Ralph Malph and he was desperately trying to become a serious actor. He had some movie coming out about kidnapping a cheerleader, it went direct to your garbage can. |
| 6:24
| Can Steve stop Buzz for a moment? First of all Donny Most played Ralph Malph and also The Fonz statue is TV Land gimmick. So Buzz has bought into a gimmick. Mark Czerniec says TV Land put a Mary Tyler Moore statue in Minneapolis. |
| 6:25
| Mark seems very bitter today. He's railing on his bird feeder because apparently were now just doing gimmick stories in the news. There was also a Bob Newhart statue in Chicago at some point. It sounds like TV Land just comes in and puts down a statue in your city. But there is a statue of The Fonz in Milwaukee, it's not a fake story or anything. |
| 6:26
| Ed Silha is checking in, he's our own Gary Glitter at Lollapalooza. Most of the girls there are probably legal though. Ed says that the Bob Newhart statue was on Michigan Avenue in front of the building used as the exterior on his show. God knows where it is now! |
| 6:27
| The Newhart statue is now at Navy Pier. Someone was calling in about it but he hung up. Steve has a feeling that Milwaukee makes a bigger deal out of a Fonzie statue than we do with a Bob Newhart statue. They're having a parade in Milwaukee, Joanie will be there but there's no word on Chachie. Speaking of the origin of words, Steve's pretty sure that the word chach comes from Chachie. |
| 6:28
| That Cindy Williams on Laverne & Shirley was pretty cute as Steve recalls. He's not a fan of Penny Marshall though. Rob Reiner is cuter than she is! She looks like Hellboy! |
| 6:29
| Several Chicago ministers used their pulpits yesterday to urge Chicago Public School students to ditch the first day of school. In an effort to show the disparity between funding for city and suburban schools the protest involves students registering at suburban schools. Of course that means that the city schools won't get as much funding since attendance on the first day is really key. |
| 6:30
| Buzz wouldn't mind talking to one of these ministers and just asking if they're aware of what they're doing. Does Buzz really want them to become aware of him? If he wants to hear from them he can go down to a church with a tape recorder. |
| 6:38
| Live read: Gladstone Homes |
| 6:39
| Alright it's time for the web poll. Friday's question was "Do you have the Laziness Gene?" 55% of the people said no, that means we have a lot of go-getter listeners. |
| 6:40
| Today's question is "How do you prefer your President?" The answers are cuddly or hardbody. Steve doesn't know how he prefers his President. In a nation in which 66% of the voting population is overweight and 33% are obese Barack Obama's skinniness could be a liability. |
| 6:41
| Despite Obama's visits to waffle houses, ice cream parlors and greasy spoons some American's still wonder if he's really like that. Critics of Obama have accused him of being elitist and out-of-touch. |
| 6:42
| An NBC/Wall Street Journal poll shows that McCain still leads Obama among suburban men and housewives. |
| 6:43
| The last beanpoll president was probably Abe Lincoln while the heaviest president was Grover Cleveland. Most other president's have been somewhere in between. |
| 6:44
| Obama's physician says that the candidate runs everyday and has no body fat. He didn't give the Senator's weight but some have speculated that he's at least 10 pounds below the standard weight of 190 for someone his height. 190?! |
| 6:45
| Senator Obama wasn't always svelte. Friends and family describe him as a "chubby child" while growing up in Indonesia and Hawaii. It wasn't until he started playing basketball while living in the states with his grandmother that he started to slim down. |
| 6:46
| At a campaign stop in Oregon recently at an ice cream parlor Michelle Obama and their daughters had onion rings while the Senator swirled his spoon around in his ice cream. In a July Access Hollywood interview Obama's daughter said her dad doesn't like sweets. |
| 6:47
| Former Republican candidate Mike Huckabee said he's a recovering foodaholic. Steve would like to just point out that Huckabee has a lifetime 50% discount at all Wendy's restaurants because he used to be governor of Arkansas. |
| 6:48
| Huckabee believes that an in-shape candidate shows voters that that person has discipline. However you don't want to workout too much. On a recent stop back in Chicago Obama was at three different gyms in one day. That led to a widely circulated AP article wondering if Obama was a gym rat. |
| 6:49
| Food faux pas have often plagued presidential candidates. In 1976 Gerald Ford, at a Texas campaign stop, bit into a tamale that still had the corn husk on. Buzz might remember that. He ended up losing the election to Jimmy Carter. |
| 6:50
| In 2003 John Kerry was labeled effete when he ordered a Cheesesteak with Swiss instead of the traditional Cheese-Wiz. That guy couldn't do anything right. |
| 6:51
| A few days after that at the Iowa State Fair, known for their deep-fried Twinkies and beer booths, Kerry was spotted buying a $4 strawberry smoothie. Kerry's chief strategist made a call to the campaign staffers so someone could get him a corn dog. |
| 6:52
| Obama drew cringes in 2007 at a stop in Iowa when he asked a crowd of farmers if they'd seen what they're charging for arugala at Whole Foods. There isn't a single Whole Foods in the entire state of Iowa. |
| 6:53
| That seems like a really weird thing to say to a group of farmers. Maybe he was trying to get them into the arugala-growing game? There's a lot of money to be made. |
| 7:01
| Alright we're going to do some showbiz stuff with Brendan but first, a traffic report from Tyrone. What up Buzz man?! |
| 7:02
| It's gonna be a warm and rainy day today, go figure that! That's crazy right? We did have two nice days though, what more can you ask for? |
| 7:03
| They had that Lollapalooza over the weekend, Tyrone was shuttling bands back and forth. There are a lot of crazy white girls at Lollapalooza, Tyrone has a few of them passed out in the back of the choptater, he's trying to figure out where the hell Lombard is. |
| 7:04
| Traffic is pretty much what it always is right now, Tyrone's just headed home to get some sleep. He spent a lot of yesterday looking for a kid who drownded in Indiana. |
| 7:05
| Those things rarely have a good ending, one kid lived and one kid died. You don't get any joy out of the one kid surviving since the other one died. It seems like they're better off both dying. |
| 7:06
| Buzz isn't going to sign on for that. He's not a rescuer though, if Tyrone's going to go over all the way over there he wants all or nothing, otherwise it reminds him too much of Vietnam. |
| 7:07
| Maybe Buzz is right though, Tyrone probably shouldn't say that. Those kids got caught in that riptide again in Indiana. |
| 7:08
| The real reason Tyrone is checking is because he heard Steve and Buzz talking about Obama and how ripped he is. He does sort of look like Jesus on the cross, who's also ripped. |
| 7:09
| Tyrone flies Obama around a lot and he looks good. Tyrone was with him on that one day when he went to three different gyms, it was sort of like a boot camp. |
| 7:10
| Obama looks good but he's kind of a show off. He walks around naked a lot. Tyrone doesn't want to get too personal but Obama could end up being our most well-endowed President ever. Although he's heard some things about Lincoln, he was the Rail Splitter after all. That was Tyrone's nickname in high school. |
| 7:11
| Just remember though, if you're in a riptide just relax and float to shore. If you're smart enough you can swim with the riptide, parallel to shore. A lot of people aren't that smart though. |
| 7:12
| Those tips saved the 10-year-old but it just makes Tyrone want to yell at the family for not knowing that. And the whole time he was over in Indiana he was thinking about all the girls at Lollapalooza. |
| 7:13
| It's good that the state police didn't look into Tyrone's choptater becuase he had two girls in there under blankets. They kept trying to get out because they said it was too hot under there. |
| 7:14
| Tyrone's not even sure if those girls are still alive. He might rejoin the search effort and drop them into the lake. Then he finds two girls in the water later. |
| 7:15
| Well there ya go, that's Tyrone. There was a lot of pathos in that segment. They had another drowning in Indiana over the weekend, it's happening every week and it's always the exact same story. |
| 7:16
| Can Steve read this article about the drowning? Maybe we should just do the celebrity news. It's just irritating to Steve that this keeps happening because no one knows what to do if they're in a riptide. |
| 7:17
| They might want to put a lifeguard on duty over there though. The beach was closed on Sunday because of the riptide but it's not something you can see. For the money they spend on all of these search and rescue missions they could probably hire a lifeguard. |
| 7:18
| They should get a David Hasselhoff type over there and maybe someone who looks like Pam Anderson. Hasselhoff might be available for the gig. He could sit up in that lifeguard stand eating a cheeseburger off the floor. |
| 7:19
| It does seem like lifeguards would be cheaper than helicopters. The helicopters look much cooler though. Brendan was at North Avenue Beach last weekend and they had lifeguard posted all along the beach. Were they hot girls or dudes? |
| 7:20
| It was some dudes and some hot girls. If they had lifeguards in Indiana Steve would probably run down the beach from New Buffalo. |
| 7:27
| Live read: Windy City Limo |
| 7:28
| Alright we're gonna do some showbiz news with Brendan Greeley. He did not go to Lollapalooza this year but he heard good things. OK, right on, that's all we need to know. |
| 7:29
| There's a lot going on in celebrity news. Brangelina's twins will make their debut on the cover of People. And why do people sell their baby photos? They're trying to get it out there before the paparazzi starts bothering them. |
| 7:30
| In other good news, Christina Applegate is expected to make a full recovery after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Brendan's glad to hear that because he grew up watching her on Married...with Children. Way to personalize it in a really creepy way Brendan. |
| 7:31
| Steve worked at a radio station in L.A. where Christina's dad Bobby Applegate was a DJ. Steve had to take a tape of her birth and mix it together with audio of her mom singing. That's how old Steve is. If he ever meets Christina Applegate he has an in with her. |
| 7:32
| Our own Pete Wentz, of Fall Out Boy, had an after party at his bar for Lollapalooza this weekend. Fall Out Boy did not play the festival but Wentz checked out as many acts as he could. |
| 7:33
| Wentz is quite the entrepreneur, he's got a bar, a clothing line and his own lipstick. He's got a kid on the way too right? He's married to Ashlee Simpson so it's not a bastard. |
| 7:34
| There's word that John Mayer may be the kid's godfather. That could be awkward since John Mayer used to date Ashlee's sister Jessica. If Steve's Pete Wentz he would be trying to keep John Mayer away from his wife. |
| 7:35
| It's completely pitch black outside, what's going on? Buzz, we depend on you to find this stuff out. The sun rose today as far as we know right? It seems like it was lighter earlier but now it's quite dark, like nighttime dark. |
| 7:36
| Brendan's just glad we have all these bright Hollywood stories then. That's another great transition from Brendan. Wentz was asked over the weekend what it meant for Chicago to have Lollapalooza, Brendan has the audio. |
| 7:37
| This interview sounds like what would happen if Steve's dogs decided to interview each other. |
| 7:38
| Caller Jim is near River Road and Irving Park and the weather is going crazy, there's thunder and lightning and the wind is going crazy. So Steve should look for that pretty soon. It actually looks darker behind Steve than it is downtown. |
| 7:39
| Lindsay Lohan was in town over the weekend as well, she was seeing her possible girlfriend Samantha Ronson perform with her DJ brother Mark. How do you have a DJ at a concert? Perry Farrell has an area set up at Lollapalooza for DJs. |
| 7:40
| Once again, why do we let that Perry Farrell knucklehead come into Chicago and make all of this money off of us? We don't have a Jam Productions that could put something like that together? |
| 7:41
| It still seems weird that the chief of police in LA said Lindsay was gay. She hasn't denied anything. That Samantha Ronson does look like a dude though. LiLo and Ronson attended the after party at The Underground, Billy Dec's club. Steve was invited to that but he didn't go. |
| 7:42
| LiLo is also involved in a feud with Gossip Girl's Blake Lively. Steve draws the line at that show because it's about high school girls. |
| 7:43
| Caller Barry has another weather report. He's up in Deerfield and it's barely drizzling now but the storm did come through there. What about the sun, did that ever come up? Barry thinks Steve should send Brendan out to report on the oncoming storm, a lightning strike might help him. |
| 7:44
| Steve's not going to endanger Brendan but he couldn't think of a reason to not send him outside. And the thing about Brendan is he would go out there too. |
| 7:45
| Blake Lively showed up on the set of Ugly Betty to catch up with her Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants co-star America Ferrara. That Ugly Betty, it's just a show about a girl who everyone thinks is hot when she's not right? It's sort of like that Planter's Peanuts ad right? That ad makes Steve want to not eat peanuts. |
| 7:46
| LiLo is doing a guest spot on Ugly Betty and when Lively showed up all the paparazzi went to follow her. LiLo reportedly slumped back to her trailer where gal pal Samantha Ronson was waiting. With a strap on? |
| 7:47
| The Teen Choice Awards were last night. Steve TiVoed it but he hasn't watched yet. What's wrong with Brendan?! He's 30-years-old, he needs to start watching other shows. |
| 7:48
| Big winners included Haydn Panettiere. of Heroes. Every time Steve sees her she's smoking. Isn't she dating an older dude too? She's with Milo Ventimiglia, also from Heroes. Kudos to him. |
| 7:49
| Steve likes Haydn but he also likes that Ali Larter from Heroes. She has the better superpower. Brendan has been a fan of Ali Larter since Varsity Blues. Earlier in the season James van der Beek, who was in Varsity Blues sang the 7th Inning Stretch at Wrigley. |
| 7:50
| He was up in the booth with Pat and Ron beforehand and it came to light that the whip cream bikini scene in Varsity Blues is one of Ron Santo's favorite scenes ever. They should try to get Ali Larter up there for Ron, that has to be better than the Hall of Fame. |
| 7:51
| Steve heard that Wilco did the 7th Inning Stretch on Saturday and that they did a bad job. Does Pete have that audio? It wasn't bad, they just weren't singing. Brendan was disappointed to learn that Jeff Tweedy was a Cardinals fan. You can't help where you grow up. That seems like something he'd want to keep to himself. |
| 7:52
| Pete has the Wilco audio from yesterday. Buzz has never noticed that they introduce everyone as the "guest conductor" That's the first time Steve noticed it too. If they're conductors then they were doing their job, they conducted the crowd. |
| 7:53
| On Saturday Tom Morello, of Rage Against the Machine, sang the 7th Inning Stretch. Len and Bob must have been jacked to have all those musicians up in the booth all weekend since they're always talking about music. Meanwhile Hawk is still talking about Caddyshack, it's awesome. |
| 7:54
| Yesterday he was talking about A League of Their Own too, it's one of his favorites. DJ had never seen it though. It's awesome. |
| 8:00
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:01
| There was no way around Jeff Tweedy saying he was a Cardinals fan, Len Kasper asked him point blank. Steve likes that Jeff Tweedy and he likes that Wilco. |
| 8:02
| Steve says this to Buzz and Brendan, who's still in here, and to Pete, that Robbie Fulks throws down a nice National Anthem. He's another Chicago musician. Don't we have an excellent version of Dancing Queen by Robbie? Maybe we should spin that. |
| 8:03
| The White Sox don't do the 7th Inning Stretch so they don't get the pub but Robbie threw down a nice National Anthem. Sometimes you get people at The Cell doing the long version of the National Anthem. |
| 8:04
| Pete was at the Cubs game on Saturday and they had that Frank Sinatra impersonator doing the National Anthem, he does the long version. That's the fat guy right? He holds one word at the end for a very long time. It's glare isn't it? |
| 8:05
| He does the song just like Sinatra too. Pete saw one performance where he paused after "Bombs bursting in air" and then everyone in the bleachers yelled "OH!" Pete's not sure if he had that worked out ahead of time or if they just wanted him to finish. |
| 8:06
| Steve has seen him at Bears games and that long anthem is brutal when it's cold out. The guy doesn't even look like Frank Sinatra either! |
| 8:07
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. On the phone is Kevin, manager of the Tao Bell in St. John, Indiana. Is that near the St. John's military academy? |
| 8:08
| Alright let's go back to Brendan with one last story. This one will hit close to home. There was a fight between celebrities at an airport departure lounge in Turks & Caicos. |
| 8:09
| Nikki Blonksy, star of the recent Hairspray musical, and her father were arrested for getting into a fight with the family of former American's Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden. |
| 8:10
| The dispute was over saved seats in the airport lounge. Blonsky was charged with assault and bodily harm and her father Carl was charged with grievous bodily harm. And people say Steve is aggressive at the airport! |
| 8:11
| Caller Gary wanted to let Steve know that St. John's Military Academy merged with Northwestern Military Academy and that's up North. Culver is the one in Indiana. Steve used to threaten to send Pat to St. John's, sometimes it worked. |
| 8:12
| Caller Lawrence thinks there could be some strategy behind a long National Anthem. About 10 years ago there was a movie with Russell Crowe called Mystery, Alaska, about outdoor hockey players. |
| 8:13
| The New York Rangers came in to play the Mystery team and they had Little Richard sing the National Anthem. They asked him to draw it out really long because the Rangers aren't used to playing outside. |
| 8:14
| Caller Kim is on her way to work at Calumet College in Whiting, Indiana. That's where Steve and Buzz got their nursing degrees. |
| 8:15
| Kim wanted to let Steve know that Culver Military Academy is a little south of Plymouth, Indiana. Is that near St. John? Is Culver associated with the frozen yogurt chain? Steve doesn't really know Indiana, he usually just wants to get out of there fast. |
| 8:16
| Steve still doesn't know where Culver is but he was wrong on all counts. That's the most important thing. Brendan can stop fielding calls about military schools though. He doesn't care that Jim Lovell's son went to St. John's or which schools merged. |
| 8:17
| Steve doesn't even care about the U.S. military. Has Buzz watched Generation Kill yet? He's waiting to watch it with Aimee, she's the one who first came across it on TV. So she's got dibs on it? |
| 8:18
| The show is really good, Buzz needs to start watching it. It's so good that Steve's going to buy the book that the show is based on. Steve expects full press coverage of his purchase of a book. |
| 8:19
| Becuase Steve thinks reading is for losers he's going to have someone read the book to him. He could probably get the book on tape. Steve's only sort of kidding when he says reading is for losers but what are you when you're listening to a book on tape? |
| 8:20
| Alright we're going to be at Arlington on Friday for a live broadcast. That's at the Terrace Cafe from 5:30 to 10 am. You can watch the horses go through their morning training regime and enjoy a buffet breakfast. The breakfast is $7 for adults and $4 for kids but the first 100 people get that for free. |
| 8:21
| Steve is still trying to arrange for listener races and paramutual betting on the races. No one is taking Steve seriously though, they just keep telling him about the breakfast. |
| 8:22
| Steve has passes to give away for the Million Room but he's not sure if those can be used at the Arlington Million, which is Saturday. Steve needs some clarification from Adam. |
| 8:23
| Adam says that the passes are for later in the season but not for the Million. Steve can't do all this now, he just wants to talk about Friday. He's not giving away passes for the broadcast on Friday and he doesn't want to confuse people since he doesn't want to end up sitting there by himself eating bacon! |
| 8:24
| If these passes aren't for the Million and they're not for Friday why is Steve doing this now? Let's do that later. |
| 8:25
| Caller Karen wanted to let Steve know that his article is being posted on a cork board in the women's bathroom at the Taylor Street Brewing Company. She's been there twice recently and it was two different articles so they're changing things up. |
| 8:26
| Karen was doubly excited because she saw a guy in a Hawaiian shirt and thought it was Steve. |
| 8:32
| That's a drop from Generation Kill. Peter Sarsgard is the lead in that and he's doing a pretty good job. Steve's familiar with Peter Sarsgard but he's not sure what movies he's been in. He's from Illinois though right? Brendan usually knows all of stuff. |
| 8:33
| Brendan confirms that he is from Illinois but he's not sure what movies he's in. He was in Garden State, and also Elegy. He does a lot of indie movies. |
| 8:34
| Steve calls down to the weather center. Jim says that Peter Sarsgard is not in Generation Kill, Steve's thinking of Alexander Skarsgård. He's a foreigner though, hence that circle over the A. |
| 8:35
| Peter Sarsgard is from Belleville, Illinois which is also where Jeff Tweedy is from. Steve can't care about Peter Sarsgard any more though. He was in Jarhead which is also about the Marines. Steve doesn't care about that either. |
| 8:36
| Buzz says that Alexander Skarsgård was in Zoolander, does Steve care about that? Everyone cares about that movie. Jim says that Alexander Skarsgård is the son of actor Stellan Skarsgård. |
| 8:37
| Steve has Wikipedia too, for instance he knows that Alexander is brother of Gustav Skarsgård. We can do this all day if Jim wants. |
| 8:38
| Caller Tom called in last week. He was in the actual unit that the book and TV show Generation Kill is based on. A lot of the show and book are very close to how it really was. |
| 8:39
| Captain America and Encino Man were really that dumb and that Sgt. Major really did talk like he does on the show. He did say stuff like "Moostash" instead of moustache. |
| 8:40
| Godfather did talk the way he does on the show because he had recovered from throat cancer. Most of the show is pretty accurate but everything seems like it goes by much faster than it actually did. |
| 8:41
| There were a lot of rumors started by various soldiers since a lot of other guys were cut off from communication. One of the rumors on the show was that J-Lo had died. |
| 8:42
| Tom is 26 now but he turned 21 in Kuwait. That's hardcore. if Tom ever hears Steve talking about this again he should call in, Brendan will give him the hotline number. |
| 8:43
| Buzz probably wishes he watched that show now doesn't he? He's got to check it out, it's great. |
| 8:51
| It's cool talking to that Tom guy. There's some crazy stuff going on over in Iraq and you have to hand it to anyone who's over there doing it. This Tom guy was only 20! |
| 8:52
| Alright it's Peanut Butter Jelly Time with Pat Boyle. Did Pat attend Lollapalooza, he's big on the concert scene. He didn't go this weekend, he was off and the wife and kids were out of town. |
| 8:53
| Steve was in Pat's old stomping grounds over the weekend in the Detroit area. Steve doesn't know what he has to do to watch the White Sox game in Detroit. |
| 8:54
| Steve paid for the premium MLBTV package and when he's in Michigan the Sox games are blacked out. What's the point of having that package if Steve can't see a White Sox at Royals game in Detroit? |
| 8:55
| Steve doesn't know where he has to go to see a Sox game on his computer. He's pretty sure the Tigers have a hardcore blackout so he's partially blaming them. He wants to be part of some sort of class action lawsuit and sue someone. |
| 8:56
| If Steve's in New Buffalo he can watch Sox games on DirecTV although it's blacked out on Comcast. Steve tried to follow along with the Sox but Friday was the best day for them. |
| 8:57
| Griffey made his Sox debut on Friday, he had 2 RBIs in a Sox win. The rest of the weekend was all Cubs though. Steve's thinking of switching over, he's done with the White Sox. He's like Bernie Mac. The Sox put that poor guy in the hospital! Wait until he finds out they're not in first place! |
| 8:58
| Caller Dave thinks he might be able to help Steve with this MLBTV thing. Last summer he was trying to watch a Sox game while he was in New Jersey. He was blacked out so he called customer service. |
| 8:59
| Dave's computer still had his IP address from Chicago so that's why he was being blacked out. So it does work but it sounds like it's kind of a pain the ass. It would be cool to get a call from Major League Baseball though. |
| 9:00
| The big story in yesterday's Sox game, other than the Royals scoring at will, was DJ Carasco throwing three straight high and tight balls to Miguel Olivo. The third one hit Olivo and there was a bench-clearing brawl. |
| 9:01
| Steve has to stop this tape of Hawk and DJ. There's a huge bench-clearing brawl, DJ Carasco throws the limpest punch ever, AJ is trying to corral Olivo who's huge and all Hawk can say is "They must have some kind of history" |
| 9:02
| After the game Ozzie admitted that he has had pitchers throw at opponents before but that wasn't the case on Sunday. The umps went back and reviews the tape after the game and apologized to the Sox, realizing Carasco wasn't trying to throw at Olivo. |
| 9:03
| What Steve got from that tape was that Ozzie wanted someone to throw at Olivo but Carasco didn't do a good job. |
| 9:04
| Steve doesn't want to talk about the Sox any more, he's done with them. They're not even in first place any more! At least they used to be able to say that but they can't any more. |
| 9:05
| The Cubs almost let one slip away yesterday when the Pirates tied the game up in the top of the 8th. Pat wanted Steve to hear the range of emotions that Ron and Pat went through in that game as the Pirates tied the game in the top of the 8th and then the Cubs took the lead again in the bottom of the inning. |
| 9:06
| Ron sounds like he's going to jump after the Pirates tie the game. But Ronnie can always flip the switch of emotion. |
| 9:07
| Steve has noticed what the Cubs have done with Aramis Ramirez' nickname. The fans started calling him A-Ram so they dialed it up to Rami. |
| 9:08
| The Cubs are now 5 games up on the Brewers and 6 games up on the Brewers. They deserve to be too. Yesterday was one of those typical games where it looked like they were mailing it in. Does he mean like a White Sox game? |
| 9:09
| Skip Caray passed away yesterday. Steve doesn't really have any Skip Caray anecdotes, he never met him. Steve would like Chip Caray to go in for a stress test, we can't lose another Caray. How can you come to Chicago as Harry Caray's grandson and not catch on? That takes an extreme lack of talent. |
| 9:10
| Brett Favre will report to Packers training camp today so hopefully all that drama is almost over. It was still 2 months of drama just to get to where everyone else thought the Packers should be. |
| 9:11
| The Packers will probably still entertain trades for Favre but most likely he'll win the starting gig in Green Bay. Meanwhile the Bears have the two-head monster of Grossman and Orton. |
| 9:12
| Rex got booed at the Family Night practice at Soldier Field. Can you imagine that, families are booing him at a practice? He had a good practice yesterday, that's according to him. |
| 9:13
| The Bears first preseason game is Thursday but they still haven't decided on a QB. Ron Turner joked over the weekend that they're going to play Rock, Paper, Scissors for it. Didn't Steve say that last week? Is Ron Turner stealing jokes from us now? Maybe Steve and Buzz should draw up some plays for him. |
| 9:14
| Steve's going to the game on Thursday, it's either watching an inept Bears team or an inept Sox team. Steve's giving the Sox one more week to get things together. |
| 9:15
| Joe Crede will probably not be back from the DL this week. Steve hasn't liked Josh Fields since he found out he was on the God Squad. He says he doesn't like what goes on in baseball lockerrooms. |
| 9:23
| steve wouldn't mind having Aaron Rodgers on the Bears. He's not turning on Kyle Orton but it seems like this training camp was the time when he would have really stepped up and shown everyone. |
| 9:24
| News with Buzz |
| 9:25
| The fifth tropical storm of the season has prompted a hurricane warning for Louisiana and the Texas Gulf coast. Tropical storm Edouard is now making it's way through the Caribbean. That's a weird spelling of Edouard. |
| 9:26
| President Bush embarks on a trip to Beijing today for the Olympics. He might be disappointed to learn that he won't be able to find dog on the menu at many hotels and restaurants. |
| 9:27
| Barack Obama is asking the DNC for the full seating of all Michigan and Florida delegates. It's also Barack Obama's birthday. Should he become president he'll become the 5th youngest president to take the oath. |
| 9:28
| John McCain denies he's gone negative in his latest ad against Barack Obama. The latest ad compares Obama to Moses. The ad is so positive that it ends up being negative. This will play into the religious right because now people will think Obama views himself as the Messiah. |
| 9:29
| McCain also said that Obama challenged him to a duel last week. McCain says his weapon of choice would be a lightsaber. Did Obama really challenge him to a duel? Steve doesn't remember that. |
| 9:30
| His weapon of choice is a lightsaber? It really seems like McCain is not comfortable with any of this at all. |
| 9:31
| Caller Carl lives in LaGrange. He wanted to let Steve and Buzz know that Edouard is the French spelling of Edward. You know how he knows that? Because he lives in LaGrange. Maybe he could be our liaison to LaGrange. |
| 9:32
| Alleged actress Mary Kate Olsen (that hurts) has still not sat down with Federal investigators about the death of her friend Heath Ledger. Olsen doesn't want to talk to anyone until she's guaranteed immunity. |
| 9:33
| Gary Glitter is very close to get early release from a Vietnamese prison (HEY!) He's doing time for molesting two underage girls in that country (HEY!) |
| 9:34
| Several Chicago ministers are using their pulpits to call for CPS students to ditch the first day of school and register at suburban schools. Reverend James Meeks, who's also a state senator, planned the protest as a way to show the funding disparity between city and suburban schools. |
| 9:35
| Bernie Mac is currently in a Chicago hospital being treated for pneumonia. According to the article Steve has he's recovering. |
| 9:36
| Comedian Bernie Mac (that's a lie) is responding well to treatment according to his publicist. Publicist Danica Smith also denied reports that the comedian is in critical condition. |
| 9:37
| This illness is unrelated to his diagnosis of sarcoidosis which has been in remission since 2005. What's sarcoidosis? |
| 9:38
| Sarcoidosis is an inflammatory disease that can affect almost any organ. It causes heightened immunity which means someone's immune system overreacts, damaging tissue. |
| 9:39
| A classic feature of the disease is the formation of granulomas, microscopic clumps of inflammatory cells that look like granules. When too many clumps form in an organ it can affect the organ's functions. |
| 9:40
| This wasn't the easy explanation Steve was looking for. This is why he didn't get into medicine, it's too complicated. |
| 9:41
| An Arlington, Florida man called police last week becuase he was unhappy with his Subway sandwich. Reginald Peterson was at Subway when he discovered his Spicy Italian Sub did not have any sauce. Sauce? He called police to make sure his sandwich was made properly and then called again because they were taking too long. The police showed up and arrested him for making false calls. Plus you don't put sauce on a cold cut sandwich. |
| 9:42
| Steve's being told that Adam's dad has sarcoidosis of the lungs. Should we just call him? Is it going to be sad? Buzz can't imagine an upside. Steve's a little miffed at Adam for some other things so he's probably laying a sarcoidosis on him to get out of it. You can throw a sick dad at Steve, it won't deter him. He's like the guy in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. |
| 9:43
| Steve calls down to Adam's office. His dad has a mild cases of sarcoidosis and he's not trying to use this to get out of trouble. It is worth a try. Adam's dad basically has a chronic cough so it's more irritating than anything else. |
| 9:44
| Is Adam's dad as funny, more funny or less funny than Bernie Mac? Adam would say his dad is more funny that Bernie Mac so it doesn't affect your sense of humor. |
| 9:45
| Who said Bernie Mac was a comedian? Did he get labeled at one point by someone in Hollywood? He used to have a show on HBO and there was nothing funny on there. Steve thinks he has a highly developed sense of humor and he's not someone who can't find other people funny. |
| 9:53
| Caller Ken saw Bernie Mac on Letterman and he said he was going to retire from stand-up comedy after 30 years. Steve saw Kings of Comedy but he doesn't remember what kind of routine he had. |
| 9:54
| He must have been funny if he was in Kings of Comedy right? Steve remembers being surprised that Steve Harvey was funny. |
| 9:55
| You might recall that in the past couple of weeks a woman has been emailing Steve, she wants him to sponsor her bowling team by buying them shirts and bowling balls. Now she's on the phone. She's very persistent. Maybe if she started selling Avon, with this sort of persistence, she could buy the bowling balls her self. |
| 9:56
| Caller Cindy's bowling team is calling Double D's and the Other Four. Linda and her friend both wear DD bras and the other two women don't. |
| 9:57
| Cindy and her team need fitted bowling balls because he ones at the alley are crappy. They're good enough for Steve, why can't Cindy use them? She's sorry for being greedy, they'd be OK if they just got the shirts. |
| 9:58
| If Steve buys the shirts and the balls then what's next? A jet? This seems like a project for Ed Silha, it could be like his own A League of Their Own. Ed almost went pro as a bowler. |
| 9:59
| Steve doesn't think he'll be sponsoring any bowling teams, his marketing money is tied up in urinal cakes with his name on them. How much would shirts set him back? It's probably about $40 per shirt. That's too much. |
| 10:00
| Steve doesn't think they should be bowling if they can't afford the balls and the shirts. Cindy's team can afford that but they wanted Steve to be their sponsor. He'd pay the money just to make this stop. |
| 10:01
| Nothing good is coming from this right? It doesn't seem like Cindy's an active listener, she should know that admonishing Steve won't work either. |
| 10:02
| OK, Steve will just buy these shirts to make this woman go away. Cindy is never to call or email Steve again though. Buzz wouldn't mind hearing from her though, we can give her his email address. |
