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| 5:32
| Steve is really thinking about writing words for the opening them song. First he has to figure out where the melody line is. |
| 5:33
| Steve will work on the lyrics since he's not very busy in the afternoons. He might start drinking and doing blow again just to get himself off of his Scrabble addiction. On the iPhone you can download game applications |
| 5:34
| The lyrics for the theme could change everyday really. Steve is trying to hook up his phone to the board but you have to spin a dial to get it to he right setting. The dial is very sensitive, if you touch it it skips ahead 10 settings. |
| 5:35
| Steve has been playing against the computer in Scrabble, it beats his ass every time. That's because it's the computer, it knows all the words and where to put them. Steve gets beat by 200 points every time but he keeps at it anyway. |
| 5:36
| Just when Steve thinks he's going to win the computer comes up with a word that's worth 30 points. He's in the middle of one game right now from last night, he's losing and there aren't many options left. |
| 5:37
| So this little knob on the board, you can turn it to different options that you want to have play through the board. The iPhone is one option but there are also other channels you can bring up. |
| 5:38
| Looking at the other shows that are on these knobs, you can see why WCKG failed. Bill O'Reilly and Love Line?! That's all bad stuff. There has to be something on here to play. Why is there a channel for silence? Steve can't get any of these to work, maybe he's locked out of them. |
| 5:39
| There are lot of things on here that seem to be tempting. Can Pete make this work? There has to be audio on WBBM FM right? Nevermind, this is a stupid bit. It's a good thing Steve is doing this early. He's writing a note to himself to not do this bit again, it doesn't seem to have any kind of payoff whatsoever. |
| 5:40
| OK, the weather channel is working. Set your watches to 5:40 am. Let's welcome aboard our new weatherman Stephen Hawking for an extended forecast. Now there's some sports too, sports and weather together! Steve has no idea what he's doing, he's just going to turn all this off. |
| 5:41
| Buzz likes sports and weather at the exact same time. Theoretically there are a bunch of different things to listen to but Steve can only get the weather. It doesn't seem like there's much going on at CBS, hopefully everyone is OK. |
| 5:42
| Steve has probably been locked out of these channels so he doesn't do stuff like this. He can really only do the weather. |
| 5:43
| Caller Danny just saw a trailer for the new Jonathan Demme movie, Rachel Getting Married. He was wondering if Buzz filmed a cameo for it. |
| 5:44
| Buzz was actually not let loose to film that role, Drew Hayes (former WCKG program director) felt Buzz should stay behind. Danny is wondering if Drew gave a reason for why he wouldn't let Buzz go, he made all the Jonathan Demme movies better. |
| 5:45
| Can't Danny tell he's pissed Buzz off? Buzz doesn't know why Drew didn't let him go. Just so Buzz knows, Steve wasn't aware of any of this but he would have let Buzz go. |
| 5:46
| Does Danny really want to bring the show to a screeching halt, right after Steve's great twisting knob bit? Steve's going to have to let Danny go. |
| 5:47
| Steve doesn't know if Buzz made the Jonathan Demme movies better but he filmed cameos for all of them. What's this movie called again, something about someone getting married. |
| 5:48
| Buzz only recently learned that the movie featured Debra Winger who he's a huge fan of. Buzz can't remember why he wasn't allowed to go but there was some internal struggle within CBS. |
| 5:49
| It was actually Jim who first brought the movie to Buzz's attention. He asked him about the movie and if he'd filmed a cameo and Buzz couldn't even remember what the movie was about. Then gradually he started to remember that he was asked to film a cameo. |
| 5:50
| Steve calls down to the newsroom. What's Jim doing down there? He's supposed to be warming Buzz up, he's not supposed to be making him mad down there! |
| 5:51
| Does Steve have to put Stephanie down there during the show? She flashes some cleavage, brings in some McDonald's and Buzz is in a happy mood. Steve's not sure what happened on the car ride to Arlington on Friday and he doesn't want to know. |
| 5:52
| Meanwhile Jim sends Buzz down to the studio choking on his own phlegm, irritated. Jim didn't even know the movie was coming out. This is just Jim's little film school dream and it's dead now. He's stuck in that office doing the show log forever. He's in hell and Steve is Satan! |
| 5:53
| Jim is always told to talk to Buzz in the morning and usually they talk about movies. Steve has the feeling that Jim is the one doing all the talking in those conversations. He needs to get Buzz to open up a bit more, ask him about Piper or something. |
| 5:54
| The only thing Steve heard Buzz saying down the hall is that the microwave is broken. You have to tear the door open to get in there. Buzz was shouting at Adam to fix the microwave, he actually crawled inside there. |
| 5:55
| Buzz has filmed a cameo in every Jonathan Demme movie. The one movie of his that didn't do well, Buzz only recorded a harmonica part which was mixed down. You'd think Demme would do whatever it took to bring Buzz in to film this cameo. So Jim is the set-up man for the 7th and 8th inning and Jim is the closer, that's nice. Off to the showers for you two! |
| 5:56
| So to answer Danny's question, Buzz isn't in the movie because he wasn't given the day off. Steve would have given him the day off if someone would have consulted him. Buzz must have shot he had a better shot with Drew than Steve. He misplayed that one. |
| 5:57
| So Buzz isn't in the movie but he and Demme aren't fighting. It's OK though, we're just working the bugs out from 5:30 to 6 am. Steve though Danny was a bug but he's not. Just so he feels the love Steve's going to give him $100 in Lettuce Entertain You gift certificates. |
| 5:58
| Why is Danny up so early? He has to get to work for the Chicago Park District. Does he just sleep in a truck all day? Sometimes he's picking up trash, sometimes he's putting up fences or empty garbage cans. Buzz lives by Lincoln Park, those workers are as busy as bees. |
| 5:59
| Danny gets up at 5:10 every morning though so he can't complain. Steve thinks he can complain, there are people who work on the show who wake up earlier than he does and he still complains. If you wake up before 6 am you can complain. |
| 6:00
| Steve calls down to the weather center, Danny sounds like a relative of Jim's. There's a general mopiness to Danny and Jim, maybe they could go to dinner together? What's Danny's favorite Lettuce restaurant? |
| 6:01
| The other day when Steve was going over to East Bank Club he noticed there was an adult bookstore near Brasserie Jo. So Steve's recommending that place for Danny. |
| 6:10
| Steve needs to know what was happening 18 months ago at CBS that made it so Buzz couldn't film his cameo in the Jonathan Demme movie. Was that when Wendy left? Was it after the kidney stone? |
| 6:11
| It might not have been 18 months exactly but it seems like it takes that long to finish a movie. As Buzz recalls it was ultimately his decision. He didn't push things too hard when Drew said no, bad things can happen when you leave town. |
| 6:12
| Was that when Garry Meier was sniffing around? Nothing is going to happen to Buzz, he doesn't have to worry. It sounds like Buzz had Steve's back though which he appreciates. |
| 6:13
| News with Buzz |
| 6:14
| Russian president Dmitri Medvedev has halted military operations in Georgia. That comes after President Bush voiced his concerns about the people of Georgia. |
| 6:15
| So does this mean Steve doesn't have to learn about all of this? He prefers thinking that it's Georgia, like Atlanta. They're going to bomb Hartsfield Airport! |
| 6:16
| The U.S. ambassador to the UN, Zalmay Khalilzad (which is delicious) denounced Russian's military action. |
| 6:17
| Barack Obama campaign supporters can sign up to receive an email or text message when the candidate picks his running mate. How much does that cost? It's actually free. |
| 6:18
| Police officers and soldiers providing security for the Beijing Olympics are being told to smile more by a member of the IOC. They're apparently scaring the foreigners. That's kind of their look isn't it? Even during the opening ceremonies those drum guys were told to smile more. Those paramilitary uniforms just make them look scary. |
| 6:19
| U.S. swimmers have combined for 7 medals at Beijing's Swimming Cube. Michael Phelps broke his own world record last night and won the gold. Steve watched a lot of the swimming last night as well as some more women's gymnastics. Then he went down to city hall to register as a sex offender. |
| 6:20
| Steve didn't see the relay live but he watched it online and it was awesome. The French were doing a lot of trash talking, all they cared about was beating the Americans. Then Michael Phelps pulled out a last second victory to beat the French. |
| 6:21
| Buzz got called in by the little woman, who's actually very tall, to check out the gymnastics routine of Justin Spring. He's never seen anything like this, the guy could do anything on that bar and he wouldn't fall down. But then the Americans lost right? |
| 6:22
| Steve was going to wait for Ben Gay to tell us all about this, he didn't know Buzz Gay would be showing up early. |
| 6:28
| Live read: Windy City Limo |
| 6:29
| Steve's drink of choice at Bears games is the Red Bull. It was kind of disappointing on Thursday because Steve could only have one. He tried to have more but the boys tried to stop him, like he was drinking whisky. Mike actually took a Red Bull away from him, it was sort of like the good old days. |
| 6:30
| Mark Spitz will not be on hand in Beijing if Michael Phelps breaks his record for most gold medals. That's because no one bothered to invite Spitz. Why would he want to go though? That's like flying Steve to New York to watch Howard Stern sign a contract. |
| 6:31
| It does seem like an oversight but if Steve is Mark Spitz he doesn't want to watch that. It would be like Steve watching Howard sign his contract for half a billion dollars. |
| 6:32
| Steve has to stop switching around so much on the Olympics. He watched for two hours and it seems like he missed so much. Steve was watching the White Sox debacle at first because John Danks had a perfect game going. Steve was mad that he wasn't there because he could have gone. But that was all over when he walked a batter. |
| 6:33
| Steve was also flipping to the Packers game to see what would happen to Aaron Rodgers and then there was the Olympics. Steve didn't catch enough of the Olympics to understand what happened. They switch around too much on the Olympics and a lot of the events are meaningless heats. |
| 6:34
| NBC puts the name of each swimmer in their lane but only for the start of the race. They should keep that there for the whole time. Buzz likes the green line in the water that shows the world record. |
| 6:35
| Normally Steve wouldn't watch any of these Olympic sports on their own but he likes the way it's all packaged. Steve wanted to watch the men's gymnastics so Ben Gay could cover it. He might have overinvested in the men's synchronized diving. |
| 6:36
| Ron Lewis, Steve's accountant, is reminding Steve that John Danks lost his perfect game by hitting a batter. So Steve can't even remember that. |
| 6:37
| Steve was watching the synchronized diving when Pat Dahl returned from North Carolina last night. This is actually a good story if Buzz has time. Buzz loves the Pat Dahl stories. |
| 6:38
| Every weekend Vicki the intern goes to Wisconsin and comes back with corn for Steve. After the show yesterday Steve went to the market to get some chicken for dinner. Steve and Janet ate at 6 because Janet had to go to a village board meeting and get yelled at. |
| 6:39
| So Janet leaves and Steve decides to go upstairs and do a Sportsapalooza. At 9:45 the doorbell rings and there's a kid from Lou Malnati's delivering a pizza. Steve was just thinking that he could use a substantial snack because he hadn't eaten since 6. |
| 6:40
| As it turns out Pat had ordered the pizza when he landed so he and Rachel could eat when they came home. To Pat's credit he put it on his own credit card, with a tip, and told the guy to leave it on the front porch. |
| 6:41
| Steve didn't tip the guy any more though. He actually though the pizza guy was God. Often times in movies God appears as a pizza guy. The pizza was big enough for Steve to grab two slices and head back upstairs. |
| 6:42
| Pat came upstairs when he came home because he'd been diving in North Carolina and had seen a shark. Steve wanted to hear about that and Pat asked him if he'd seen the relay race. |
| 6:43
| Some how Steve tricked Pat into bringing him up some salad and then they'd watch the relay race. He sort of felt like Brian Wilson at that point. |
| 6:44
| Alright, back to the news with Buzz. Hillary Clinton is now saying that she would have won the nomination had the truth about John Edwards' affair come out earlier. She's not going to let it go is she? Typical chick, they don't let stuff go. Steve is still hearing about stuff he did 25 years ago. Chicks will do anything to win an argument, they'll go back as far as they need to until they find something to beat you. |
| 6:45
| The lawyer for the man known as Clark Rockefeller will challenge the custody order that prompted the man to spirit his daughter away. The lawyer also says that his client can't remember much of his life before 1993. No one knows who this guy is, not even his wife. |
| 6:46
| The Archdiocese of Cincinnati has released a list of inappropriate behavior for their priests. The priests have been instructed not to kiss, tickle or wrestle with children. Then what's the point of being a priest? It seems like a priest should know not to do any of that stuff. |
| 6:47
| The list also instructs priests not to give bear hugs or piggyback rides and no lap sitting. No piggy back rides? That's just crazy. |
| 6:48
| A woman from Kane County has become Illinois' first case of West Nile Virus this year. It is unclear when and where the woman contracted the disease but she had traveled recently. |
| 6:49
| A bicyclist shot two people on the North Side last night. So that's a pedal-by shooting? |
| 6:50
| Governor Blagojevich and Senate President Emil Jones are at odds over the pay raise for lawmakers. Blago believes the current pay raise system is corrupt while Emil Jones says he needs this raise. It seems like in the grand scheme a pay raise isn't the most important thing going on. It's like they're distracting us from something else, they're running a shell game down there. |
| 6:51
| A giant, inflatable piece of dog poop created by American artist Paul McCarthy floated away from it's exhibition and took out power lines in Switzerland. The piece of art was the size of a house. |
| 6:58
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:59
| What was that drop Pete just played? It was Mark Spitz but what was it from, the Mark Spitz reality show? Pete was playing it because Buzz did that Mark Spitz story during the news. |
| 7:00
| Steve remembers all that, Pete doesn't have to recap the entire show. There was an interview with Spitz on Sportscenter. He sort of seems like an ass. He's getting into the botox business with Nadia Comaneci. |
| 7:01
| Mark Spitz has shaved his mustache. For a while though he looked like Freddy Mercury. Buzz remembers that Spitz sort of seemed like a jerk when he was an Olympic competitor. |
| 7:02
| Last night they were featuring the last major swimming star, that Ian Thorpe guy, and he predicted that Phelps wouldn't win. Why even have those guys on TV? They're athletes so they're really competitive but they're not professional athletes so they don't know how to cover that stuff better. |
| 7:03
| Then they show Thorpe in the stands presumably not rooting for Michael Phelps and people are asking him for his autograph. Thorpe had a really sweet top on...OK top sounds gay. It was some sort of fleece jacket that zipped up in the back. They probably don't make it in 2X though. |
| 7:04
| Yesterday after the show Steve and Buzz cut a promo that would preview what would be coming up on the show the next day. Steve's not sure if that promo made the cut. Todd is going to talk to the promo guy, everything stops with him. |
| 7:05
| Todd spends a lot of time telling Steve what he does over the weekend that sometimes he forgets everything else. On Friday he went to Ben Pao because they were selling Tsing Tao beer for 88¢ because of the opening ceremonies. |
| 7:06
| Todd was hungover on Saturday so he went to McDonald's, then on Sunday he had Father & Son pizza. He didn't work out at all either. All this time Steve is trying to tell Todd about the promo he and Buzz cut. |
| 7:07
| Todd has quite the life going for himself. He's a really nice guy though. He's not single, his girlfriend lives with him, but he's still more footloose and fancy free than Steve and Buzz are. |
| 7:08
| Caller Jamie heard the promo that Steve and Buzz cut. Jamie's hard at work, he's building a deck. Is that a real wood deck or that composite material? Steve had a deck made last year and he went with the real wood. It's not a deck unless you can get a splinter in your foot or have ants and squirrels gnaw at it. |
| 7:09
| Jamie heard the promo around 1 pm yesterday, it sounded good. Steve and Buzz just made up a bunch of stuff they were going to talk about on the show. Jamie figured that out but it still sounded like a professional radio station. |
| 7:10
| Does Pete have that promo handy? He only has the dry track, he's not sure if the people at Jack added some music or did anything else. Way to complicate things Pete! Because now Steve wants to know if it was cut up in some way. |
| 7:11
| Can Pete play that promo? After hearing that Steve wouldn't mind if someone tightened up it up a little bit. He needs to remember to write down three things to mention. |
| 7:12
| The first outtake is pretty funny, hopefully it plays back that way. |
| 7:13
| What was that extraneous thing Steve just heard? He managed to turn this into a good bit and then Pete comes in with some street noise. |
| 7:14
| Does Pete hate Steve? It's always something with him, it's never just OK. Pete might be trying to drive Steve mad, it is a short drive. |
| 7:15
| Pete doesn't know what the final promo sounds like but he imagines Jack added something else to it. Pete has a general disdain for the Jack format, he thinks it's too cookie cutter. Buzz thinks that disdain is healthy but Steve finds it to be a big pain. |
| 7:16
| Caller John said the promo ran dry just as it was recorded. Pete's new job is to listen to Jack all day and tell Steve what version of the promo they run. |
| 7:24
| Steve's not trying to be mean to Pete. Pete's not being playful though, he's acting wounded. All during that last break Steve thought he was mean to Pete. |
| 7:25
| Pete didn't think Steve was being mean to him. Steve probably didn't need to react to that extraneous noise from Pete's studio, he has a lot of keep track of over there. |
| 7:26
| Steve doesn't think he's mean, has he ever been mean to Pete? Pete can only speak for himself but Steve's never been mean to him. Buzz has seen Steve being mean to people but it was probably warranted. If Buzz says he hasn't been mean then he loses all credibility. |
| 7:27
| Pete did find the promo that ran on the air yesterday, he can play that now. Someone tightened it up and added music. It seems like it was tightened up in an inappropriate way. Take out all the ums and ahs though. |
| 7:28
| That was close enough though, it sounded good and it was funny. The hemming and hawing is Steve's act though so maybe they could leave that it. It's like, you know Steve is a professional but he chooses not to be professional. |
| 7:29
| Alright it's time for the web poll. Yesterday's question was "Have you ever hit a walk-off home run?" Turns out 67% of the people have which seems fake. Or maybe only Cubs and White Sox players were listening yesterday. |
| 7:30
| Today's web poll question is "Have you ever used the Mitsubishi Jet Towel?" These questions are very specific. The next time dinner conversation turns boring, go to the bathroom for some material. |
| 7:31
| At the Aja steakhouse in the Dana Hotel bathroom visitors can use the Jet Towel, which blows out warm at at 90 meters per second to dry your hands off. Is that Aja like Asia or with a J sound? It's probably Asia like the Steely Dan song. How fast is 90 meters per second? There are no instructions for the Jet Towel so it could take people a while to figure them out. |
| 7:32
| At the Hub 51, run by Rich Melman's RJ and Jared, monitor's in the women's bathroom allow bathroom visitors to see what's going on in the restaurant and keep tabs on their boyfriends and husbands. |
| 7:33
| That sort of seems like a guy code violation, Steve will have to talk to the Melman boys. Maybe they had it reversed so you could monitor the woman's bathroom from the bar. Their dad probably made them switch it around. |
| 7:34
| Steve hasn't been to Hub 51 but he read that Garry Meier was spotted there with Bob Sirott and Marianne Murciano. Steve knows RJ and Jared Melman, he's known them since they were little. |
| 7:35
| Steve has a hard time getting over to Hubbard but if he actually joins up at East Bank Club he'll be taking Hubbard to get over there. Before Buzz knows it Steve will be hanging out at Rockit and Hub 51 and not making it to his workout. |
| 7:36
| Steve is really going to enjoy that rooftop pool deck at the East Bank Club, enjoying a nice Mediterranean salad. It sounds like quite the life. Tom is back in Bourbonnais until Wednesday but once he gets back Steve is going to start working out at East Bank Club and pretty soon he'll look just like Tom. |
| 7:37
| Tom's locker is very far from the showers so it's a walk of shame for Steve to get to the showers. The floor is tile too and Steve didn't have any flip-flops. The last thing he needs is to slip on that and be calling out for help. |
| 7:38
| Caller Bob is in Geneva on his way to Rolling Meadows for work as an electrical contractor. It's fun stuff. Steve learned to appreciate electricity a lot more when his power was out last week. |
| 7:39
| It's amazing how much you depend on electricity. Steve has a generator but it's not for the whole house. After last week he has decided to take his home theater off the generator. He'd rather read a book in the air conditioning than watch a movie and sweat. |
| 7:40
| Caller Bob goes to a bowling alley in St. Charles that has those jet dryers, they're kind of scary. Your skin flaps the way a skydivers face flaps when they jump. After a while you start to think something bad will happen to your hands. |
| 7:41
| 90 meters per second is 201 mph so that's pretty fast. Don't put your willy in that thing Bob. Steve doesn't even know why he thought about that. He always thinks about that when there's something it can be put into. You'd think after the vacuum cleaner incident Steve would have learned his lesson but no. |
| 7:42
| Now Bob can go to Dahl.com and vote yes on the web poll. He might be our only yes vote. As a rule Steve doesn't wash his hands if he's in the bathroom alone. |
| 7:43
| He will wash his hands if he's at a personal appearance because he knows he'll be shaking hands. That's just a courtesy to the listeners. You have to retouch that door knob anyway so you're just refilthing yourself. |
| 7:44
| That's only after #1 anyway, that's all sterile anyway. If you looked really hard in the Bible you'd know all of that. It's sterile so you don't have to mess with it. In general when Steve is out and about he likes to keep it at #1 anyway, unless there's a dinner miscarriage. |
| 7:45
| Caller Terry has used a Dyson jet dryer at the Museum of Science and Industry. It's so weird looking that no one knows how to use it. There were three guys standing around with wet hands looking for towels and then a kid came in and knew how to use it. |
| 7:46
| Just so everyone knows, our own Ed Silha prefers the Dyson model. Maybe Ed should call in, Steve didn't know we had an expert in our midst. |
| 7:47
| Ed hasn't called in yet but Steve would really like to hear why he prefers the Dyson. Did that guy in the Dyson commercials really invent all that stuff or is he just an actor? You have to hand it to that guy, he invented a lot of stuff. |
| 7:48
| Ed still hasn't called in, he refuses to talk about his bathroom habits. Maybe he doesn't want to call in because Steve doesn't wash his hands. Steve shouldn't say he doesn't wash his hands because he usually does. |
| 7:49
| Ed is not calling in because he said the last caller said it all. Maybe the last paycheck Steve send Ed said it all too. Did Steve say something to offend Ed? He's not going to sit here and beg any more. |
| 7:50
| Most people don't even know what these jet dryers are and Ed has a comparative analysis for us. He's finally called in but now we have to take a break. So stay tuned for Ed's comparative analysis of the Dyson and Mitsubishi hand dryers. Steve wouldn't mind one for the Green Room, how much would something like that set him back? |
| 7:56
| Alright let's say hi to our own Ed Silha who's playing hard to get this morning. He just thought the last caller said it all. Maybe he should let Steve determine that. |
| 7:57
| Where does an Ed Silha enjoy the Dyson air blade hand air dryer? He first noticed them last summer at some ballparks. Dodger Stadium has one although Steve didn't wash his hands when he was out there. |
| 7:58
| Steve did see that thing but he thought it had something to do with diapers. The wind comes out at 400 mph, won't that damage the bones in your hands? |
| 7:59
| It's actually a very thin stream of air and you stick you whole forearm in. It's almost like an air squeegee that wipes the water off. It's sort of like the air dryer in a car wash. |
| 8:00
| Ed has also used the Mitsubishi at Aja in the Dana Hotel. The name is pronounced with the J sound. Was Ed calling Steve a rube when he pronounced the name wrong? |
| 8:01
| Ed sure gets around a lot, he's quite the man-about-town. Steve would like to see Ed be more of a player He lives in the greatest neighborhood in the world if he were a jerk. Hey Pete, is Catman available for jerk lessons? |
| 8:02
| Ed has run into Catman from time-to-time. It's probably when Catman is trying to steal whatever woman Ed has managed to scrounge up. He's the world's worst wingman. |
| 8:03
| Even when Ed drinks he doesn't become a jerk. He should try cocaine, that might make him more of a jerk. And if the cops stop him he can just tell them that Steve Dahl said it was OK. |
| 8:04
| The last time Steve saw Ed he was with a girl so he does date. He just overthinks everything. He needs to stop overthinking, at least until the next day. |
| 8:05
| Those hand dryers run about $1200 a piece if Steve wants one for the Green Room. Ed might get on himself. Don't stick your willy in there though! That's definitely possible with Ed's saintly dating practices. |
| 8:06
| Chef Hans called to say that Dyson and MItsubishi make elevators as well. Smith & Wollensky used to have a Mitsubishi but now they have Dyson. What does the Dyson elevator do, suck you up to the next floor? |
| 8:07
| Maybe Hans can get a discount on some Dyson air blades now. Steve does wash his hands at S & W because they have those paper towels that feel like linen. Steve also looks very fetching in the mirrors in that bathroom. |
| 8:08
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Steve and Buzz are enjoying the Fajita Steak Melts today. |
| 8:09
| Caller Gary owns a pub in Waukegan and the health department recommended the Dyson hand dryer. It cost him $1600 total for the unit and installation. It actually draws a crowd, people come in to see it. It is Waukegan though. |
| 8:10
| Gary's bathroom is a totally hands off experience although he doesn't have anyone in there holding it for you. That might be something to consider though. |
| 8:11
| Caller Tim saw one of these hand dryers at McCormick place, he's not sure what brand it is though. The first time he used it he didn't know what it was, then he realized there was no hand dryer in the bathroom. |
| 8:12
| He stuck is wet hand in and the dryer nearly took the ring off his hand. It's right at waist level too. Steve already had that thought 45 minutes ago. All dudes have that idea, except Ed. He will not violate that hand dryer! |
| 8:13
| Caller Jovanna has another location for the hand dryer, there's one in the Berry Chill right across from the Aja steakhouse. You stick your hands in there and you don't know what's going to happen. Your skin actually feels different after using the hand dryer. That's probably because you've been dermabraised. |
| 8:14
| That Aja place is right by here, why doesn't Steve go to any of these places? He needs to get out and walk around more. It's hard in the summer though because all the construction workers whistle at him. It makes him feel like a slut. |
| 8:15
| Jovanna's friend owns Berry Chill, it's low calorie frozen yogurt but it's very good. You don't feel bad about eating it and then you go into the bathroom and lose a few pounds of dead skin off your hands. |
| 8:16
| The way Jovanna describes the hand dryer, sticking your hand in and not knowing what's going to happen, that's what it used to be like to date Steve. |
| 8:17
| Just so Jovanna knows, Ed also like Berry Chill. So if she's looking for a gentleman she just might run into one. She's looking forward to it. |
| 8:18
| It occurred to Steve, while talking to Ed about that Dana Hotel, why doesn't a different hotel call in everyday and offer Steve a room to nap in? Then he could review the hotel the next day. |
| 8:19
| Jovanna is a teacher and her and a colleague are always hoping for a nap truck to pull up in front of the school and drive them around for an hour or so. |
| 8:20
| Jovanna might be on to something, that nap truck is a good idea. Steve could go for a nap truck right now. |
| 8:21
| Steve can't get a good nap in at home, the dogs are always barking or the phone is always ringing. That's because no one else wants to nap at 1 pm. |
| 8:22
| How about a Snooze Cruise boat that goes up and down the Chicago river? Napping is key people and Steve can't get in a good nap to save his life. Buzz has no problem napping but that's because he's all by himself. |
| 8:23
| Everyone tries to keep it down at Steve's house but the dogs are more than enough to keep him awake. They bark at every thing they see in the yard, they're almost too protective. He keeps telling them that they have a security system at the house. |
| 8:31
| Tyrone is checking in with some traffic. There is blood on the streets Buzz! 3 pedestrians were hit by a vehicle at Madison and Pulaski, two are in serious condition and one is critical. |
| 8:32
| Tyrone does not like looking down from the choptater and seeing that. And based on where it happened he's guessing it's a hit-and-run. Tyrone would do the same thing if he hit someone at Madison and Pulaski though. That's all Tyrone knows for right now. Any traffic implications in this? |
| 8:33
| 5 ambulances have been sent to the scene of this accident, in the Garfield Park neighborhood. It's an EMS Plan 1, Tyrone never knows what that means. An EMS Plan 1 automatically sends 5 ambulances to the scene. Why don't they call it EMS Plan 5? |
| 8:34
| Tyrone doesn't know if it was a hit-and-run. They usually make a big deal about a hit-and-run on TV, then they all shake their heads. If Tyrone hit three people he'd run. Buzz would stay and try to fix things but he has insurance and a valid license and registration. Tyrone doesn't have all that. |
| 8:35
| If Buzz was on the West Side though he might be buying crack, he doesn't want to get caught doing that. That's all the information Tyrone has at the time, it's not much. It is sad though, those people were probably on the way to the park to play soccer or something. |
| 8:36
| Tyrone would keep Buzz posted but he probably doesn't care right? Tyrone doesn't even care, he just wanted an excuse to be on. He thought there would be more information. He's just going to say it's a hit-and-run. He's in the process of tracking the driver down now, he's gone vigilante. |
| 8:37
| News with Buzz |
| 8:38
| Hundreds of Georgian protestors cheered their country's president as he spoke today. That's not Georgia like Atlanta or Savannah right? |
| 8:39
| Russian president Dmitri Medvedev has called for a cease fire but Georgians claim Russian jets were still bombing villages outside the disputed Ossetia region. |
| 8:40
| Barack Obama came out of his vacation in Hawaii to deliver a message about the fighting in Georgia. How did they get Obama to turn off the sound of the ocean and the aloha music? |
| 8:41
| Does Steve have to learn what this whole thing is about? He keeps getting confused about the Georgia thing. Is it over land? Most of these things usually are over land. |
| 8:42
| Russia probably wants Georgia back in the fold not being independent or electing their own president. Somewhere there's an oil pipeline involved. All Steve knows about Russia is that they have a lot of healthy old people because they eat a lot of yogurt. Maybe it's a Dannon yogurt pipeline. |
| 8:43
| Can't someone call in with a nice nutshell summary of all of this? Yesterday that woman called in and recommended the Tom Clancy book Red Storm Rising. That means Steve has a read an entire book, or listen to it on tape. Maybe Mark Czerniec could call in with a summary. |
| 8:44
| The U.S. sits atop the medal standings with 21 total medals at the Beijing games. Michael Phelps has three of those medals. |
| 8:45
| China has admitted that a young girl featured in the opening ceremonies, singing the a patriotic song, was in fact lip-syncing. Who cares? One person who cares is the organizer of the opening ceremonies. He felt compelled to give credit to the 7-year-old girl who won a grueling contest to perform the song. |
| 8:46
| At the last moment 7-year-old, who has buck teeth, was replaced with a 9-year-old girl. Buzz has a photo of the 7-year-old girl and she's cute as a button. Some old man mistakenly focused on some misaligned teeth and ruined this girl's life. |
| 8:47
| Spain's Olympic basketball teams are feeling the heat after appearing in a newspaper ad posing with controversial slit-eyed gestures. Did they have nylons over their heads? Every single player in the ad is pulling back the skin on both sides of their eyes. |
| 8:48
| In a final Olympic note Chinese security staff is being urged to smile more because they're scaring tourists. So they should pull the skin back on either side of their mouth. |
| 8:56
| Steve has said this before and he'll say it again, Bob Costas asking Bush about Georgia during the Olympics seems really inappropriate. Steve calls down to the traffic center. |
| 8:57
| Steve asks Jim what Lebowski said, what is "This aggression will not stand?" He got that from the elder Bush during the Gulf War. Jim thinks that Bush could have used Lebowski's entire speech in the back of the limo to answer Costas' question about Georgia. |
| 8:58
| Mark Czerniec is on the phone to summarize this Georgia thing. Steve heard that Pineapple Express was an homage to Big Lebowski, did Buzz find that to be true? Lebowski is a little hazy for Buzz but Steve watches it every month. |
| 8:59
| The whole thing is about South Ossetia, it's a small state within Georgia, a county if you will. So it's like they're fighting over Cook County. It's not even that important, South Ossetia is just a bunch of farmers. |
| 9:00
| They do have a tunnel through the mountains in South Ossetia though. They have never wanted to be part of Georgia, they want to go back to Russia. This thing goes back to the early 1800s. |
| 9:01
| South Ossetia has been pretty autonomous for quite some time but Georgia sent some troops in to get them back. Then Russia said "Oh no you don't" Do they have a yogurt pipeline in South Ossetia? |
| 9:02
| There is some oil in Georgia but as far as Mark can tell there isn't any in South Ossetia. Is he looking at one of those Golden Book Encyclopedia maps to determine what they have in South Ossetia? |
| 9:03
| Since we're allied with Georgia that means the price of gas will keep going up. How's that diesel working for Mark? It used to be cheaper than regular gas but now it's more expensive. |
| 9:04
| Things are getting better with diesel since they switched to clean diesel. Plus diesel gives him a chance to mingle with the truckers. They also get 50 miles per gallon. |
| 9:05
| Diesel is actually cleaner although from a soot standpoint it used to be dirtier. His carbon footprint is just one toe. |
| 9:06
| Someone pointed out that in this conflict, if the U.S. says that Georgia is justified in trying to take back South Ossetia then you could say that Mexico would be justified in taking back Texas. |
| 9:07
| Steve was going to take a break but he doesn't need to. Buzz was out the door as soon as the break started. We're still doing the news right? Buzz was at the door looking back at Steve because he hadn't moved yet. |
| 9:08
| The man believed to be the commander of all Al Qaeda operations in Afghanistan has been killed in a clash between government forces and militants. This never seems to slow them down does it? There are enough nut jobs where someone usually steps into the breach. |
| 9:09
| Has Steve received any calls from luxury hotels offering him a room to nap in this afternoon? So far no one has called, you'd think at least the Dana Hotel would have called. |
| 9:10
| Visitor's to Barack Obama's website can sign up to receive an email or text message as soon as the candidate picks his running mate. |
| 9:11
| Yoko Ono says that the man who assassinated John Lennon should remain behind bars, for his own safety. Ono believes that someone might seek revenge against Mark David Chapman if he were ever released. |
| 9:12
| Chapman has been enjoying conjugal visits by his wife for the last 16 years. All the finger painting you can handle and some sex with your wife, that doesn't sound so bad. |
| 9:13
| Tropic Thunder is pushing the envelope according to several groups representing the mentally challenged. Protestors held up signs that said "Call me by my name, not my label" and chanting "ban the word, ban the movie" In particular, protestors object to the use of the word "retard" several times in the movie. Buzz saw a clip of the movie, it's being said by people who are supposed to be complete jerks, what's the problem? |
| 9:14
| Madden 2009 went on sale at 12:01 last night. Our own special correspondent Brendan Greeley was on hand at the Gamestop on North Clark to talk to people waiting in line. |
| 9:18
| First of all, what is Brendan doing up at 11 pm at the Gamestop? It sounds like that guy already hit a bar before he waited in line. Steve is surprised that guy's life is in shambles. |
| 9:19
| So the guy's computer and X-Box are both broken and he's still buying this game? He actually had to trade in several old games to get store credit to buy the game. |
| 9:20
| Brendan is becoming quite the intrepid reporter. Is that guy indicative of everyone in line? This guy was special, he's a real gamer. At one point did he think he was actually playing on the Bears? |
| 9:21
| It seemed like it was OK that his X-Box and computer were broken because he'd be playing with the Bears when they returned from Bourbonnais. That guy also seems on board with replacing Orton and Grossman with Caleb Hanie. |
| 9:27
| Live read: Triton College |
| 9:28
| Roberto Garza is on the cover of Madden '09 Español. He's one of the few HIspanic players in the NFL. What about Jeff Garcia? Steve's pretty sure he's not HIspanic but we can ask Peanut Butter, as soon as we play him on. |
| 9:29
| Pat is pretty sure that Jeff Garcia isn't Hispanic. But there's Garza and Tony Gonzalez and Luis Castillo. He was on the cover of Madden '08 Español and then he got a huge contract. So maybe it's a reverse of the Madden cover jinx. |
| 9:30
| Speaking of jinxes, Pat emailed Steve about John Danks' perfect game and then Danks plunked a batter. Don't do that! |
| 9:31
| Buzz would just like to say that Jeff Garcia is of Irish and Mexican descent. |
| 9:32
| Steve did not go to the game last night but he could have. The perfect game was broken up after Danks hit the batter. Pat emailed Steve after that happened, he did still have a no-hitter going. Pat needs to get some friends his own age though. How about Brendan Greeley hanging out at Gamestop? |
| 9:33
| Steve is still not sure what Brendan was doing at that Gamestop last night at that hour of the night. If he was there just to report then Steve is impressed. |
| 9:34
| Most reporters would have asked that guy two questions and then bailed but Brendan kept going. That guy he talked to mentioned Scooby Snacks, Steve's not sure what those are though. Pat's pretty sure it's pot. |
| 9:35
| Scooby Snacks are a fictional food item from the Scooby-Doo cartoon, used as an enticement for Scooby and Shaggy. Producer William Hanna imagined that Scooby Snacks would taste like a caramel-flavored cookie. Warner Brothers licenses Scooby Snacks as dog treats and as consumable cookies for humans. Vanilla wafers were packaged and sold as Scooby Snacks at Suncoast video stores. |
| 9:36
| The official brand of Scooby Snack dog treats are made by Snausages. But Pat says it's pot? Everyone said that Scooby and Shaggy were getting high on Scooby-Doo, that's why. It sounds like John Danks could have used a Scooby Snack last night and not the pot but the delicious cookie. |
| 9:37
| If Steve's Ozzie Guillen he gets someone in the bullpen ready as soon as that perfect game is over. Unfortunately the bullpen is in shambles. They gave up 3 runs after Danks left. |
| 9:38
| The Sox take on Kansas City tonight at The Cell, meanwhile the Cubs are in the ATL for a 6 pm start. That's on channel 9, the Superstation. Steve really doesn't like when games are on WCIU, everything is bad. The audio is bad, the video is bad, the commercials are bad. Is that TV station in this country because it seems like it's based out of Eastern Europe. |
| 9:39
| Former Bear Muhsin Muhammad took some shots at the Bears yesterday, he said Chicago is where receivers go to die. Steve thought Moose and Rex were best friends. Wasn't Moose Grossman's best man? |
| 9:40
| After Moose signed his deal he went to Grossman's wedding to try to build a rapport with his QB. Then Grossman got injured. The following year they were sort of on the same page but then things soured at the Super Bowl. |
| 9:41
| There were a lot of questions about Grossman and Moose not being on the same page during that game. There's even some speculation that Moose quit on that one pass that was intercepted. |
| 9:42
| Along those lines, Tank Johnson was overheard at camp saying that Rex is soft and brittle. He was talking to some teammates and it was within earshot of some reporters. |
| 9:43
| A reporter from CBS Sportsline decided to put that up on their website. A lot of these reporters don't spend the entire year with one team, they probably only visit that team once a year. So they can write whatever they want without worrying about pissing off Tank or Moose. |
| 9:44
| It's the whole thing with bloggers versus journalists. The journalists don't like the bloggers for this exact reason. It's like how Jay Mariotti never goes to any games so he can just write whatever he wants. |
| 9:45
| Tank Johnson is right though, Rex is soft. If you've seen any Bears game you'd know that. Did Pat tell anyone at Bourbonnais that Steve is ushering in the Caleb Hanie era? |
| 9:46
| There's something about Caleb on the cover of the Sun-Times, he's remaining humble as fans shout out his name at practice. He also pointed out that he was facing KC's third stringers so there's not that much to take away from his performance. That's the perfect answer. He still has it, that's what Steve thinks. |
| 9:47
| Pat doesn't think Rex is soft in terms of being unable to take a beating on the field. But mentally he might not have it to play QB. |
| 9:48
| Pat can't believe Rex Grossman is still with the Bears after everything he went through. He probably reviewed all of his options and though he could beat out Kyle Orton for the starting job. |
| 9:56
| Even Erik Kramer thought Caleb Hanie did a good job last Thursday. When Caleb becomes the franchise QB we've been waiting for since Sid Luckman or George Bland Steve will want a full apology from Pat. |
| 9:57
| Pat's going down to camp today, he'll let everyone know about Caleb Hanie. He's not writing Kyle Orton off just yet, he liked what he saw at the end of last season. |
| 9:58
| Steve's writing Orton off, he didn't step up like he should have. The great ones step up. What will Steve do if Hanie gets injured? That won't happen because he won't get in a game. Someone has to step up and do something! |
| 9:59
| Deion Sanders responded to Moose's comments about Chicago being where receivers go to die. He thought it was a pretty accurate statement. Don't play that for Rex Grossman. |
| 10:00
| Finally, Chad Johnson talked to Suzy Kolber during the Monday Night Football game last night. He told Suzy that this season people could expect him to get every ounce of Dade County that's in him. He also told people to look back at the Hurricane teams of the 90s. |
| 10:01
| As our resident Hurricane expert does Buzz know what that means? Those 90s teams were thugs as far as Buzz can remember. |
