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| 5:32
| Is that song over? Buzz looks like a kid stuck in his height chair. He's got a frown on his face. Was that the short version of that song? They're all good and they all go so fast. |
| 5:33
| Steve thinks the lyrics for the opening theme should be sung by women. Buzz assumes these lyrics aren't the final version. They are for the day. |
| 5:34
| It's hard to manage the lyrics given the pizzicato nature of the song. It makes Steve sing like Porky Pig. Maybe we should get Pete to sing the lyrics. |
| 5:35
| Buzz did not get stuck in his foyer today. When he got home yesterday it was magically fixed. Most likely several other building resident's also had problems getting out of the building. |
| 5:36
| If you missed it yesterday, Buzz was leaving his building yesterday and the knob came off of the door in the lobby. Luckily the cab driver had arrived and Buzz was able to communicate to him that he was going to go back to his condo and Buzz the guy in so he could open the door. |
| 5:37
| What does a Buzz Kilman lay on a cab driver for a service like that? A c-note? Buzz gives a big tip on every cab ride. It costs him $15 to get to work and he gives the guy a $20, that seems fair. It's better than dealing with parking. You just pop out of the cab and walk into the building. |
| 5:38
| At night the Prudential Building is completely shut down except for one entrance on the north side of the building. It seems like they should keep the Randolph Street entrance open, that seems to be your main entrance. |
| 5:39
| But if they kept that lobby open then they'd have to have more security down there. Buzz's entrance of choice is Stetson which remains open all night. If you're looking for some grandeur in your entrance you want the Randolph lobby. That looks more like the beginning of a sitcom with Buzz stepping out of his cab, the old Prudential building in the background. |
| 5:40
| At that time of the morning Buzz isn't really looking for any grandeur. Usually there's no one in the lobby when Steve or Buzz arrive. Sometimes Steve sees Kathy from Eric & Kathy, she might be stalking him. |
| 5:41
| If she wants to make something happen then she needs to make something happen. Does she want to do it in the elevator? In her studio with Eric next door? In Steve's Green Room, while she tells him that Eric doesn't have one. |
| 5:42
| Steve gets the feeling that she knows he's having freaky thoughts so she brings up her kids. From time to time Buzz has brought up the kid and then realized what he's doing. However if someone can ride that out then you're good to go. |
| 5:43
| That's probably not what is happening when Steve sees Kathy in the lobby. He has a better chance with Lisa Dent and she also talks about her kids. |
| 5:50
| Did Buzz see that story yesterday or the day before about the manager of Burger King taking a bath in the sink at his restaurant? He was having a birthday party for himself or something and he took a bath in the sink, nude. He was fired after someone took photos of it. |
| 5:51
| If you're going to do something like that you really need to get one of those wands they have at airports and check everyone for cameras. You can't do something like that, have the photos surface on the internet, and then go back to making cheeseburgers. |
| 5:52
| Burger King made sure to stress that the sink the guy had used was thoroughly cleaned. They should have just said they got a new sink. It's like how Steve wishes there was a new bed every time he stayed at a hotel room. |
| 5:53
| Burger King has parted ways with an employee who was recorded taking a soapy bath in a utility sink in a restaurant. The video was posted on the employees MySpace page. So he posted it himself? |
| 5:54
| In the video, the employee refers to himself as "Mr. Unstable". Wasn't that Buzz's nickname at one point? Timothy Tackett told a Dayton, Ohio TV station that he is the sink-bather. "I AM THE SINK-BATHER!" |
| 5:55
| A Burger King spokesperson said that Tackett and another employee who shot the video had been fired and a third employee connected to the incident had quit. A health inspector was dispatched to the restaurant to examine the sink but employees had already sterilized it. Again they should just say they got a new sink. |
| 5:56
| They've got a Triple Whopper at Burger King now. Steve went there to get one of those Steakhouse Whopper and saw that one on the menu. Buzz wasn't aware of the Steakhouse Whopper. It's not really steak but they put an onion ring on top of the meat which is something a lot of old school steakhouses will do. |
| 5:57
| Buzz loves a good Whopper, it's the first fast food burger he remembers having. Steve's favorite thing is BK is the Whopper with double meat and no mayo, cut in half. |
| 5:58
| Steve's on the Burger King website and he doesn't see the Steakhouse Whopper anywhere. There is something about the Jonas Brothers, he doesn't care about that but it might interest Buzz's daughter. |
| 5:59
| The Jonas Brothers seem pretty talented, at least for what it is they do. Plus they claim to be celibate which is good for the parents. Buzz doesn't believe for a second that they're actually celibate. |
| 6:00
| The Steakhouse Burger is Angus beef, cheese, crispy onions, lettuce, tomatoes and AI steak sauce. Steve had to make sure there was no mayo on the burger, he hates mayo. There's mayo in the photo but there's no mayo listed on the ingredients. |
| 6:01
| Sometime before Steve was 10 years old he ate an entire quart jar of mayo and got really sick. He doesn't know why he did it but he grabbed a jar, went into the backyard and started eating. He couldn't get enough mayo. |
| 6:02
| To this day Steve dry heaves whenever he sees mayo. If there's mayo on something he won't eat it. If someone can't verify if it's mayo or yogurt he'll pass on the food. |
| 6:03
| Caller Joe wanted to let Steve know that he could go to Burger King any time of the day and get whatever he wants. If he wanted a Whopper right now he could get one. Does Buzz want to go crazy and get a couple of Steakhouse Burgers? He doesn't seem interested in all, his silence is deafening. |
| 6:04
| Caller David's sister Ginger was sitting in a Burger King drive-thru last year during that really bad storm. Last year or last week? She was on the phone with her friend and the storm was really freaking her out. She was so freaked out that she forgot what she wanted and kept trying to order a grilled cheese. |
| 6:05
| The guy at the drive-thru kept asking her what she wanted and she kept saying grilled cheese. When she got home she has two grilled buns with melted cheese in between then. So they made her a grilled cheese sandwich. She loves grilled cheese sandwiches so she went comfort food in the midst of the freak out. |
| 6:06
| What's David doing up this early? Right now he's driving up to the UP to visit his parents. He's just about to hit the traffic on 294. It's great to have all of the tollways ripped up from one state to the other, every year. |
| 6:07
| They work on the tollway every single year or at least every other year. If they're not widening the tollway they're resurfacing it. Can't we get away from asphalt? There must be some space aged material we can use right? But then you take away from the annuity of the construction crews. Don't even get Steve started on that. |
| 6:08
| Caller Kim is on 294 going south, how's the traffic? Steve's just going to start using listeners to give traffic information. Who needs Chris Habermill?! Tyrone won't mind either, he'd prefer other people to shoulder the traffic. He considers traffic a white man's burden anyway. |
| 6:09
| Kim is driving out to Decatur, she works in senior healthcare. Today she's driving out to a mental health facility for seniors. Steve's probably going to end up in one of those by the end of the decade. |
| 6:10
| Kim was actually calling about the Jonas Brothers, she's the mother of a 10-year-old. The oldest brother is actually 21 and the youngest is 15. 21! And he's still celibate?! Well when your fans are that young you have to be really careful. |
| 6:11
| The oldest brother was dating Miley Cyrus for a while. There are also rumors about her having sex right? How is that really a scandal, a girl growing up and having sex? |
| 6:12
| It wasn't even that she was having sex, it was something about a wet t-shirt and some other skimpy clothing. That's it? Steve kept seeing headlines about her latest scandal. |
| 6:13
| Steve doesn't know that he's ever heard a Jonas Brothers song. It doesn't sound that bad, Steve actually likes this kind of music. Buzz has seen the Jonas Brothers in Camp Rock. They can also be funny, almost Beatlesesque. |
| 6:19
| That was a drop of the Burger King bathtub guy. He's Mr. Unstable which is why he took a bath in a sink at a Burger King. |
| 6:20
| Steve was just out in the hallway trying to get intern Jordan to carpool with him. She lives very close to him but Steve would go up to 15 miles out of his way to give her a ride to work. Let's not dwell on that, it makes Steve sound like a dirty old man, which he is. |
| 6:21
| News with Buzz |
| 6:22
| The chairman of the Arkansas Democratic Party was shot to death yesterday. A man showed up at party headquarters, asked for chairman Bill Gwatney and then shot him when he arrived. The man then fled and was chased down by police, shot and killed. |
| 6:23
| Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is on her way to Tibilisi to show U.S. support for Georgia. Steve has decided to not learn about Georgia and Russia, instead he's going to pretend it's Georgia in the south. He's looking for some Georgia On My Mind right now. |
| 6:24
| So we're also sending humanitarian aid to Georgia, including Rice. Steve's been working on that one since last night. Buzz thought it was finely honed. Is it Jay Leno quality? Because Jay pays $50 per joke, Steve could use some WAM. |
| 6:25
| The death toll at the Olympics is up to two. A bus carrying athletes two a rowing competition crashed, killing two Chinese nationals. Two Croatian rowers were also injured. |
| 6:26
| Michael Phelps could become the richest professional swimmer in history. He already hauls in $5 million in endorsement money and could become a billion dollar man after these Olympics. Buzz can only assume that Mark Spitz is eating his heart out. |
| 6:27
| They were talking about what Phelps eats on NBC last night, he's up to 12,000 calories everyday. That's what Steve eats! Phelps can't eat enough though and you can tell he has no body fat. He starts off his day eating three fried egg sandwiches topped with cheese, mayo and lettuce. He also has grits, french toast with powdered sugar and chocolate chip pancakes. |
| 6:28
| Steve had to talk to Mary off the air which distracted Buzz. There's no other way to talk to her, he's just setting up the next segment. We've got Brendan in Chinatown as part of our Olympics humor. |
| 6:29
| Special Olympians and other representatives from that organization were protesting outside of a Massachusetts theater showing Ben Stiller's new movie Tropic Thunder. They're upset with the number of times the word "retard" is used in the movie. Of course now people have said the word "retard" more than they ever would. |
| 6:30
| Retard doesn't even have the same meaning as it used to. It's like how "gay" doesn't really mean gay. Buzz can't wait to see the movie and not just because |
| 6:31
| Is it possible that Bigfoot has been found in Northern Georgia in the mountains? Which Georgia, the one where the war is or the real Georgia? Which one is the real Georgia actually? Steve's going to need all of his Georgia music on his machine, Georgia on My Mind, Back in the USSR and maybe even Rainy Night in Georgia. |
| 6:32
| Two Bigfoot hunters claim they've found the body of the elusive beast in Georgia and will present their evidence this Friday in California. |
| 6:33
| The family of a Rockford woman is trying to get her body returned to the U.S. from China. Can we add this to the Olympic death toll? |
| 6:34
| An Australian woman has taken revenge on her cheating husband by selling a pair of lacy underwear belonging to the woman he cheated with, as well as a condom wrapper. In the description the woman says that the underwear is so huge it could be used as a shall and the condom is a size small. They don't make size small condoms, that would be a marketing faux pas. |
| 6:35
| Police are looking for a dark car, possibly a Ford Taurus, in connection to the death of a DCFS worker. An off-duty police officer was critically wounded in that shooting as well. Police are saying it's a robbery. How can that be? Witnesses said they heard arguing and it also says the people were shot from the backseat. All of the articles about this said the guy was a great father and husband though. |
| 6:36
| Chicago Public School superintendent Arne Duncan is trying to discourage the planned boycott by students of the first day of school. While Duncan agrees that city schools are underfunded he doesn't think this is the way to bring attention to that. The way things work in Illinois the city ends up giving their schools most of their money. |
| 6:37
| Did Buzz say that off-duty police officer died? It happened this morning at 5 am. That's why Steve said that stuff about the guy being a good father and husband. It still seems very fishy though. |
| 6:38
| Residents of the 3000 block of Franklin Boulevard were awakened early Wednesday morning by shouting. They thought it was more drinking on their block. |
| 6:39
| An hour and a half later they were awakened again by gunshots, long blasts from a car horn and a man inside an SUV screaming "Help me I've been shot". Neighbors wondered why these two people would be victims of a violent attack. |
| 6:40
| Marisol Ortiz said her neighbor Robert Soto was the guardian of her Southside neighborhood. Maybe this guy wasn't married. And even if he was he could have been there on police business. |
| 6:41
| Buzz is going to move on to the story about eating rats. It's the best way to solve the rising food crisis according to an official in India. Regular rat snacks will translate into fewer rats eating grains according to Vijay Prakash. |
| 6:42
| The plan is to have people eating rats in their homes, at restaurants and even in 5-star hotels. Why doesn't he run it by the Chinese first, they'll eat anything. We're not eating rat here though. |
| 6:43
| Tyrone is checking in with some traffic. On the Kingery Expressway there's an accident at Broadway. Two semis were involved and right now only the right lane is getting by going eastbound. Tyrone can't make out what is on the trucks so he doesn't know if it's worth looting or if it's a funny food like pudding. |
| 6:44
| Right now they're not letting any cars through because they don't know what spilled out of the trucks. It could be nails and then everyone ends up with flat tires. |
| 6:45
| Correction, that's three semis in the accident. Tyrone has conflicting information but you always want to go with the highest number. |
| 6:52
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:53
| Steve got into a little dust up with Pat Dahl yesterday over some kung pao chicken. That's Pat, the same guy who's living in Steve's house for free and was home all day and didn't even empty the dishwasher. |
| 6:54
| Then Steve gets hassled for not putting his dirty dishes in the dishwasher. That's because the dishwasher is full of clean dishes and Steve doesn't empty the dishwasher. The scam in Steve's house is that everyone just says Steve never does anything. |
| 6:55
| Steve doesn't know why that happens and he's going to get to the bottom of it. But in the meantime, Pat can empty the dishwasher. He's living there for free! |
| 6:56
| Pat ordered kung pao chicken not knowing what it was. Steve didn't know what it was either so he couldn't tell Pat about it. Pat thought it was a batter fried chicken. |
| 6:57
| So Pat is sitting there eating out of the container and he doesn't like it. But once his fork goes back in it's off-limits to Steve. Pat says he doesn't share which is fine but they he has to eat the whole carton. It's hard to enforce that though. |
| 6:59
| Alright, let's go live to Brendan who's down in Chinatown. The streets are just starting to stir with life. Are there any sporting events going on on Wentworth? Are any restaurants open? |
| 7:00
| Brendan is in front of a bakery that's open right now. He witnesses an argument, in Chinese, between a bakery employee and a guy who wanted a bigger bag. What do they have in Chinese bakery? Right now Brendan is eyeing the preserved duck egg cake. He can go inside and check out the rest of the menu though. |
| 7:01
| Steve can hear people speaking Chinese in the background. It sounds like a hardcore bakery if someone is arguing about the size of a bag. Buzz probably wants to ask if they have Asian Snickerdoodles right? |
| 7:02
| Brendan's going to purchase a duck egg cake and see what's inside of it. He can expense that of course as well as the cab ride. Brendan actually took the EL down there. |
| 7:03
| Were they giving Brendan a weird look because he's a round-eyes? Is he the only round-eyes down there? Will he be taking a Chinese bride and bringing her back to the building? |
| 7:04
| Alright, let's hear about this duck egg cake. It's very crumbly and there's something inside of it that seems like gooey peanut butter. It has to be duck, Brendan's going to taste it. Why doesn't Brendan see if the woman from the bakery will talk to Steve. Maybe there will be a hilarious language barrier. |
| 7:05
| Steve is talking to Limai who works at the bakery. Steve wants to know what's in the duck egg cake. It's a bean paste, some lotus beans, as well as the duck egg. |
| 7:06
| Limai has to let Steve go. He didn't even get a chance to get his joke about the Chinese Olympians being on an egg roll. Steve wouldn't mind hearing Brendan talking to some Chinese people. Steve tends to go Eddie Haskel when there's a language barrier. |
| 7:07
| Brendan has to remember to tell the person that they're going on the air, that's the most important thing. Nothing else really matters except that, how many times does Steve have to say that? |
| 7:08
| The first person didn't want to talk to Steve. Where is Brendan at right now? He's about to cross Wentworth at 22nd, right near Won Kow. Steve knows the owners of that place. |
| 7:09
| So far Brendan isn't getting anyone to talk to him. What happened to Brendan the grinder? Maybe that cake with the lotus bean made him too tranquil. The music Buzz is playing on whatever instrument he's playing probably isn't helping either. |
| 7:10
| Steve never knows what to call that instrument they play in China so he just says Chinese guitar. Steve does know that if you want to make something that sounds like Chinese music just play the black keys on a piano. |
| 7:11
| Brendan needs to shorten up his intro a little bit. He should just say he's from the show and he wants to put them on the air. Don't even give them time to think. |
| 7:12
| Steve was thinking Brendan would be chasing old Chinese women around Chinatown trying to get them on the air. There are some guys across the street staring at Brendan, they do not like his presence. Maybe he has duck egg on his face. |
| 7:20
| Alright we'll have Brendan in Chinatown all day calling in with reports. There's also that semi crash on 80/94, if you're stuck in traffic call in with a report. Of course we have Tyrone but he's easily distracted and to be quite honest not that reliable. However he is a great guy. |
| 7:21
| Steve had an idea though, for people who are out there driving and calling in with valuable traffic information. He's got an idea that he wants to run by Adam, he's in charge of marketing for the Steve Dahl Show. We need to step that up. |
| 7:22
| Adam's working on some t-shirt designs, based on the slogans Steve gave him. Right now he's working on the Reading is For Losers shirt. How hard is it to get one of those made? |
| 7:23
| Steve got a Reading is For Losers shirt from Pat Dahl which he gave to Adam to copy. What we need to do is give it to Mary's dad. Steve doesn't know what he does but if you give him a design idea he'll come back to you with a gross of them. Sometimes he doesn't even charge you. |
| 7:24
| Steve didn't call about this though. He does have to say that it seems like Adam spends too much time worrying about the pricing. Steve doesn't care about saving 30¢. What's that, even if you order 300 shirts? Steve can steal that from Buzz's wallet when he leaves the studio to go get some coffee. |
| 7:25
| Steve idea is for Steve Dahl Show license plate frames, to give to people who call in with traffic tips or whatever. That way you have a moving advertisement. |
| 7:26
| Adam shouldn't get bogged down in pricing or the number of screw holes or anything like that. He really should get a government job. Of course he was raised in the corporate monolith of CBS so he can't help it. |
| 7:27
| How long is that going to take? Steve wants them ordered by the end of business today. Adam's probably sitting there just wishing it'll happen, like the other night when Steve was thinking he could use a pizza and then the doorbell rang and a pizza showed up. |
| 7:28
| As it turned out, Pat Dahl had ordered the pizza when he and his wife landed at the airport. They were coming back from North Carolina. Steve was still able to steal two pieces of pizza and go back upstairs. Although it's not really stealing is it? Then when Pat got home Steve got him to bring some salad up. Now that Pat's back living in the house he's Steve's bitch. Pat doesn't see it that way but he still brought Steve some salad. Pat did short him on the black olives and the bacon bits but Steve doesn't want a big deal about it. |
| 7:29
| Caller Chris is up in McHenry. Is that near Door County? Steve's not really familiar with the North at all, as you can tell. McHenry, Door County, Green Bay, it's all the same. |
| 7:30
| Chris has a catchy slogan for the license plate frame. Just so Chris knows, once he tells Steve the idea it's his. Chris doesn't mind, Steve has contributed so much to his life over the years. Can Steve get that in writing? |
| 7:31
| The slogan is "I know Jack about traffic". You can put that on the bottom and "Steve Dahl Show" on the top. It's going on the list of possible ideas Steve might steal from listeners. |
| 7:32
| Caller Dan is on 80/94, he's just past Calumet coming up on Kennedy and traffic is smooth right now. But those electronic signs are warning people about the closed lanes. Maybe if they warn people early enough they'll get over. |
| 7:33
| Dan probably won't be getting a license plate frame. There's no tragedy, no pathos. Steve can't give away a license plate frame for "smooth sailing". He'd be giving away thousands of them, Adam would never go for it. |
| 7:34
| Caller Paul is on 80/94 at mile marker 9 and the traffic is really backed up. There are huge signs telling people that three lanes are closed but people are still not getting over. |
| 7:35
| This kind of phone call would warrant a license plate frame. Paul's in a truck, can he do some lane blocking? Get on the CB with another truck and do some lane blocking! |
| 7:36
| In Indiana it's illegal for trucks to be in the left lane so Paul can't do any lane blocking. When he gets pulled over he can just tell the police officer that they should have been out there blocking traffic. Then he'll probably get a bigger ticket. Steve's fine with lane blocking if it's for a good reason, not just because a trucker wants to be obstreperous. |
| 7:37
| Steve's going to get Paul a license plate frame as soon as we get them in. That'll probably be about 9 months from now. It's like every idea Steve has is something that Adam needs to knock up. Then 9 months later we've got the product. |
| 7:38
| Caller Scott is Ron's brother, he just called to say hi. Is this the guy we were talking about yesterday? Scott lives in Florida and he listens to the podcast. He lives in Pompano Beach which is where Steve's condo is. |
| 7:39
| Buzz asks Scott if he ever goes to La Veranda. Steve goes there all the time but Buzz doesn't care about that. Scott wanted to recommend a great restaurant at Lighthouse Point. |
| 7:40
| Scott is a longtime listener, he actually turned Ron onto the show when they were younger. Scott's on the way to work at the pharmacy to play with some drugs. It's just like Ron only Scott's drugs are legal. |
| 7:41
| This phone call was sold to Steve as Ron of Bob and Ron but then it was changed to his brother in the middle of the call. Jordan is answering phones, she claims he said he was Ron, maybe he did that to get on the air. We can't talk about restaurants in Pompano Beach though, we're not doing that segment now. You can't see where Ron gets his rambling nature from. |
| 7:42
| How can Ron's brother not know La Veranda? If you live in Pompano it's impossible not to see that place. It's still as good as Buzz remembers it. That being said, Florida restaurant talk is now officially over. |
| 7:43
| Alright it's time for the web poll. Yesterday's question was "Do you like the orange chicken at Panda Express?" That was a tie in with the Olympics. We had Brendan in Chinatown but apparently he's been abducted or something. |
| 7:44
| Steve ordered some Chinese food last night with Pat Dahl. Pat doesn't really like Chinese food though, especially the seafood aspects. So he ordered kung pao chicken thinking it was something that was breaded. |
| 7:45
| Pat was complaining that it wasn't authentic kung pao chicken. Maybe they'll have authentic kung pao in the city where Pat is buying his new house, right? Soon? Then he double-dipped the fork. |
| 7:46
| Standby, Steve's getting our Panda Express expert on the phone here. Jim has had the kung pao at Panda Express, it's not breaded. It's never breaded anywhere but it's really good. |
| 7:47
| It's just chicken in a brown sauce with some vegetables like mini corn. Steve loves the mini corn, he likes to eat it like Tom Hanks did in Big. Does he have the mini corn holders too? He could probably use thumb tacks or straight pins. |
| 7:48
| Jim also likes the kung pao chicken, it's usually what he orders at a Chinese restaurant. Does he take it all for himself? A lot of people eat Chinese food that way but Steve lives in a world where you share your Chinese food. In movies they always show people eating their food out of the container. |
| 7:49
| Anything else going on down there? Jim's just showlogging and podcasting. And Steve and Buzz are doing the show so he can log it and podcast it. It's one hand washing the other. Without Steve Jim wouldn't have a job. Steve was going to say that but he thought it was mean. His toes were in the water though. |
| 7:55
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 7:56
| Good news everyone, Rex Grossman is starting for the Bears on Saturday. All of our problems will be solved! |
| 7:57
| Jordan can go ahead and hang up on Ron's brother. For some reason he's still on hold from before. Jordan is just a little too polite. She should have called him an ass for lying and hung up on him. |
| 7:58
| Ron's brother told Mary and Jordan that he was Ron so he could get on the air. Now she's talking to him! |
| 7:59
| Alright, today's web poll question is "What's your favorite sandwich?" The options are BLT, Club, French Dip, PB & J and Ruben. Buzz is torn apart, he can't participate in that. We had to narrow down the options but this poll won't have any bearing on sandwichology as we know it. If no one votes for BLT they won't stop making it or anything. |
| 8:00
| From that list Steve would have to go with the Club but only if it has applewood smoked bacon. Steve used to eat Ruben's as a hangover food but since he doesn't drink any more he doesn't get hungover. |
| 8:01
| Buzz does like a good PB & J though. Steve only eats his PB & J on a spoon with orange juice. If you're talking sandwiches Buzz feels that you need the texture of the bread. But peanut butter on a spoon and a glass of OJ is enough for Steve in a pinch. |
| 8:02
| Steve doesn't mind eating a PB & J sandwich but a lot of the time they don't have the right bread. Janet likes a lot of weird breads, would it kill them to have some Wonder or some Roman Meal in the pantry? You can't put peanut butter and jelly on artisan asiago bread. |
| 8:03
| Steve needs a Taco Pal so hurry up and call in. Maybe Steve should start up the sandwich thing after the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. |
| 8:04
| Caller Joe has a competition idea for Steve. It doesn't say what kind of competition on the call screener though. We need to work with Jordan on these descriptions if Brendan's going to keep going out to report. Although apparently Brendan only calls in once and then takes the day off. |
| 8:05
| Joe's idea was to have a competition for Adam's job. Let's see who can get t-shirts the fastest and then they get Adam's job. That seems kind of mean, Adam is skitterish enough as it is. |
| 8:06
| Joe's softball team gets t-shirts in a week. Steve can get t-shirts in a day but he still likes Adam. He just needs to work with him. Adam comes from the corporate culture which is almost like a government job. |
| 8:07
| Adam is always worried about disappointing Steve. The thing about Steve is that he's always disappointed in something. It's all part of the process. |
| 8:08
| On the phone is Joe, Steve's Taco Pal. He's stuck on the Kennedy right now in traffic. Joe's standard order is the #6 which is also Steve's order. That's a Chalupa and two soft tacos. Lately Steve has also been going with the Fruitista Freeze. |
| 8:09
| Alright let's go to Brendan since Steve was bitching that he hadn't called in. The call screener says that Brendan is alive but not well-liked in Chinatown. They all love Steve down there, maybe it's because he's more Buddha-like. |
| 8:10
| No one will talk to Brendan, it's like he's a leper. He went up and down Wentworth looking for people to talk to. He went into a seafood restaurant and the guy was not friendly. |
| 8:11
| Brendan even brought a microphone with a Jack mic flag so he wouldn't look like some creep with a cellphone. But the phone isn't hooked up to the mic right? |
| 8:12
| After that Brendan went into the Happy Tea shop and ordered some sort of brownish tea. It looked more like a mocha. That's what Steve loves about Brendan, how descriptive he is. |
| 8:13
| Brendan should head up to Cermak and go to the Three Happiness. He's got two women coming up to him now, they look like they might want to talk to him. |
| 8:14
| Brendan has two women on the line and they are willing to talk. They've been watching the Olympics. Brendan, tell them the Chinese have been kicking ass! |
| 8:15
| Steve wants to know what their favorite restaurants are in Chinatown. They like the Phoenix for the dim sum. |
| 8:16
| Brendan should get their numbers and Steve can take them out to the Phoenix. Where are they from in China? |
| 8:17
| Buzz wanted Brendan to give the women his condolences after the Chinese were edged out in fencing. Buzz and Brendan do not know how to talk to the Chinese people like Steve does. |
| 8:18
| It's pretty impressive what they've done over in China for these games. Every time they show China it looks great. |
| 8:25
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 8:26
| There's a ghost in the machine that only Steve can hear. Every time we come back from a break he hears crosstalk from another station. Steve told the engineer who said it was impossible. So he had Mary in here listening to it. |
| 8:27
| OK, August is Sandwich Month. Studies show that American's eat 200 sandwiches per year on average. Speaking of sandwiches we've got Peanut Butter on the line. Standby for some breaking sandwich news. |
| 8:28
| Caller Judy works for Panera. She's recommending their wheat bread for a great peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Janet never goes to Panera though, she just gets the weird bread at the grocery store. |
| 8:29
| Panera also makes the sandwiches in their restaurants. Steve has never been to a Panera and he only sees them on TV when a car runs into them. |
| 8:30
| Steve still prefers his method of peanut butter on a spoon and a glass of orange juice. Buzz doesn't buy that it's a great substitute for a sandwich. He also can't just eat a spoonful of peanut butter. |
| 8:31
| Since Pat is on we can do some sports or some sandwich talk. Steve just has to say that he's so glad someone else heard the crosstalk. Everyone was telling him he was imagining it. |
| 8:32
| Let's do some sports if that's OK with Steve. The Cubs and Sox both won yesterday. The Cubs actually won two games yesterday. They really do win every single game. Just keep the W flag up. |
| 8:33
| Pitching was the story on both sides of town yesterday with great outings from Jason Marquis, Rich Harden and Mark Buehrle. |
| 8:34
| Steve was out at Cog Hill yesterday for golf instructions. The instructor videotapes Steve and then makes him watch it. All Steve can think about is how fat he is. Ed Farmer was also there and around quarter to two a truck drove by and honked. It was Mark Buehrle, heading to work. |
| 8:35
| That Mark Buehrle is a good pitcher. And how about Rich Harden, so far he hasn't broken down on the Cubs. He did have 5 walks yesterday and Pat would like to see him go a little deeper into a game. |
| 8:36
| Wasn't Jason Marquis on the verge of being kicked out of the rotation? Marquis is exactly what you expect from a 5th starter. He's not going out there like Carlos Zambrano. Marquis keeps you in every game that he pitches, that's all you can expect. He'll probably be left off the playoff rotation though. |
| 8:37
| The other story from yesterday was Alfonso Soriano. He hit a ball which he thought was a home run and stood there admiring it. Then it hit the base of the wall and he ended up with a long single. |
| 8:38
| In the 9th the Braves went head hunting and threw at Soriano. It missed him but the Braves pitcher was tossed out. Fonzie apologized to his teammates and Lou and said he wouldn't do it again. When did we start calling Soriano "Fonzie"? Steve's looking at the audio rundown and it says "Lou on Fonzie" Is he talking about Happy Days? |
| 8:39
| There was talk that Jeff Samardzija would start on Sunday but it's going to be Sean Marshall. Is that because Samardzija looks too much like a young, better looking Howard Stern? |
| 8:40
| The Cubs are going for the sweep tonight, it's Ted Lilly and Tom Glavine taking the mound. Meanwhile the Sox go for the sweep this afternoon. How about this Chris Getz kid, where did he come from? Pat had never even heard of the guy. |
| 8:41
| He's a AAA call-up and Pat thinks he's be the everyday second basemen next year. They'll probably movie Alexei Ramirez to shortstop. |
| 8:42
| The Bears break camp today, this is when they all leave their old TVs in the dorm rooms for whoever ends up with their room at Olivet-Nazerene. The Bears head out to Seattle next for a game on Saturday night. |
| 8:43
| Pat was down in Bourbonnais yesterday and sought out Caleb Hanie for an interview. It was on Comcast last night but Steve missed it. He can't keep track of anything he's been watching with all of this Olympics stuff. |
| 8:44
| Caleb says he knows that Rex or Kyle are going to be the starter so he's just going to keep at it. Pat has a clip from that interview to play. |
| 8:45
| Caleb just sounds like a QB, Steve likes the way he carries himself. He knows that Caleb was playing with the third stringers, against the third stringers but even Pat has to admit that he looked good out there. |
| 8:46
| Pat's going up in a prop plane today as part of the Air and Water Show so say a prayer for him. They called and Comcast thought it would be a good thing to do. |
| 8:47
| Is that a prop plane or will be in one of those jets where the reporter always ends up puking. They probably wouldn't be able to get the cockpit closed on a jet because of how tall Pat is. Pat's not sure what group he's flying with, he thought it was Lima Lima. |
| 8:55
| That's Chad Johnson claiming he can beat Michael Phelps in swimming. Steve's sure that Chad could beat him in a fly route but maybe not in the pool. You have to admire his whatever though. |
| 8:56
| Caller Gary wanted to let Steve know that Lima Lima does not have the best flying safety record, they've had a few accidents in the last couple of years. |
| 8:57
| Gary called in the other day, he has the bar in Waukegan with the Dyson hand dryer. 30 people came in that day wanting to use the thing because they heard the show. |
| 8:58
| Steve's looking at an article from 2000 about a Lima Lima accident. That's 8 years ago! Maybe someone can find something more recent. |
| 9:00
| Alright we've got Brendan on the phone. Brendan thinks he could also beat Michael Phelps in swimming if he had more God-given talent. Chad Johnson didn't even say that. |
| 9:01
| That story about the Spanish basketball team and their promo photo, that's a big story now. Buzz was the first to report it though. |
| 9:02
| In the last phone call we had a breakthrough. Brendan was able to talk to one woman in Chinatown at a bakery but then no one else would talk to him. During the last phone call he got a mother and daughter to talk to him. They're like the Chinese Judd's. |
| 9:03
| Buoyed by that Brendan got an interview with a group of girls who were on their way to some sort of university class. He recorded that interview which he can replay now. |
| 9:04
| Alright well get back to us if you find anything else Brendan. He might as well finish out the day down there. |
| 9:05
| We're still working on that web poll, about sandwiches, but does Buzz want to do the news first? Sandwiches are timeless after all. |
| 9:06
| News with Buzz |
| 9:07
| Georgia's president says Russia has not followed the cease fire agreement. He claims that Russian tanks have been bombing villages and troops are slowly advancing towards Tibilisi Condoleezza Rice is on her way there as we speak. |
| 9:08
| Buzz's spirits were buoyed briefly last night when he tuned into the channel 2 news and there was nothing about the Georgian conflict. They don't do international stories. They're working the local angle as hard as they can but it's not really paying off for them. That's probably because the anchors are sitting at a card table doing the news. |
| 9:09
| Conservative author Jerome Corsi is defending his new book attacking Barack Obama, Obamanation. This is the same guy who wrote the book about John Kerry and the swiftboats. |
| 9:10
| The guy behind that whole swiftboat thing is running McCain's campaign. That guy got Jerome Corsi to write the swiftboat book and now they're doing the same thing with Obama. |
| 9:11
| Michael Phelps did not compete in any events for the first time since the games started. Mark Spitz says that this is when things will get toughest for Phelps. |
| 9:12
| The government agency created to find gaps in airport security is not working, that's according to a GAO report. |
| 9:13
| John Edwards is back in the news. Steve was remembering back to a time when Edwards' biggest problem was that he was paying too much for a haircut. That probably seems like nothing after all of this. Buzz would have a hard time voting for a guy who pays $400 for a haircut though. |
| 9:14
| The National Enquirer has uncovered more information about John Edwards. After he confessed his affair to his wife he started it up again. He was still having an affair with Reille Hunter when she became pregnant. |
| 9:15
| The Enquirer's ongoing investigation, which will keep going until someone kills themselves, also found that Edwards has visited Hunter and her baby 3 times this year. |
| 9:16
| Can Steve read this thing he has about the Georgian president? His claims are raising eyebrows. Mikhail Saakash...Shishkabab claimed on Wednesday that Russian troops closing in on the capital. |
| 9:17
| AP reporters saw no sign of an impending coup. And of course the U.S. sent humanitarian aid to Georgia, including some Rice. Condoleezza rice that is. |
| 9:18
| The Georgians did sort of start it though. They were trying to get back that South Ossetia and then the Russians just stepped it up. The guy seems like a bit of a loose cannon though. |
| 9:19
| New information reveals that former chef Julia Child, along with Red Sox catcher Moe Berg and actor Sterling Hayden were all involved in a secret spy network during World War II. |
| 9:20
| A Texas teenager accused of making a bong out of a human skull is going to prison for credit card fraud. While he's in prison he should work on making ceramic skulls for bongs. |
| 9:21
| Of course you can't make bongs either, didn't Tommy Chong go to jail for that? |
| 9:22
| The family of a Chicago principal who died during a routine dental procedure is getting a huge settlement from the dentists. |
| 9:23
| Researchers at 16 aquariums across Europe have discovered that octopi, long thought to have 8 legs, have 2 legs and 6 arms. Specialists have pored over thousands of observations to see how octopi use their tentacles. |
| 9:24
| If Steve were an octopus he'd go with one tentacle on each side for the legs and then 3 tentacles in the front and 3 in the back for picking stuff up. |
| 9:25
| Gary Glitter is headed back to Great Britain. Vietnamese officials couldn't wait to get him out of their country, going so far as to buy him an airplane ticket home. HEY! |
| 9:31
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 9:32
| Alright we've got Brendan back on the line for perhaps one final Chinese report. He can keep going back to Chinatown everyday until the games are over but he hasn't met with much success so far. |
| 9:33
| If Brendan keeps coming back he might become a friendly face. They love Steve in Chinatown, maybe he should go down for introductions? If Brendan could just learn how to say hello that would really help. Buzz knows, it's nei how. |
| 9:34
| Brendan got a response from the first Chinese woman he came across. After that though it drops out and it's back to Brendan. Buzz's daughter knows a good deal of Chinese, she could probably write up something for him to say. |
| 9:35
| Ice breakers are key. Usually the ice breaker with Brendan is vodka. Brendan did go to the Three Happiness but they were all business in there. |
| 9:36
| Brendan's rig is sort of off-putting though. He's got a microphone hooked up to nothing which he puts up to someone's face. But then he puts the phone up to their head as well. |
| 9:37
| The bait and switch doesn't help, and then Brendan opens his mouth and he sounds like the dragon in their New Year's parade. |
| 9:38
| Buzz wants to know if Brendan will be back at the station tomorrow before he goes out to Chinatown. Why, does Brendan owe him money or something? Buzz just wanted to make sure he got the Chinese phrases to Brendan. Does Piper actually write in Chinese or does she spell it out phonetically? |
| 9:39
| Steve's going to take this phone call even though he really does't understand what the guy is talking about. |
| 9:40
| Caller Tom is concerned that if Brendan has these phrases he might be accused of approaching people under the guise of being a 7 year old girl. That's kind of creepy, dragging Buzz's daughter in like that. It's just going to be Chinese pleasantries. |
| 9:41
| We still haven't done the web poll but it's about sandwiches. Steve also forgot to mention that he's Twittering. He's no longer blogging, he's just Twittering. |
| 9:42
| Buzz doesn't know what Twittering is. If you go to Dahl.com and the blog section you can get live updates from Steve's Twitter Page. Steve's not even sure if it's called a page, he and Ed are working on the lingo since they're both old men. |
| 9:43
| Instead of blogging Steve's just going to Twitter whenever he feels like it. He did it a few times but forgot to do it during the show. This will take the place of the blog. The blog was good for the afternoon show but now every afternoon Steve just dreads writing it. |
| 9:44
| Buzz sees this as the perfect way for Steve to get out of writing the blog. Steve prefers to think of it as an advancement of the blog. This way he can just do it all day and then it updates automatically. |
| 9:45
| Steve's not happy with the photo he used for the page, it was taken with his iPhone. It does have a certain irreverent YouTube feel to it. There was a web poll about Twitter a few months ago and Steve pooh-poohed it. |
| 9:46
| Steve has it set up to only Twitter other people but a few family members are Twittering him back. Pat Dahl wrote that he's going to open a farm where he can raise Chinese gymnasts and sell them to the Russians. That's the Dahl sense of humor right there. |
| 9:47
| There's a huge scandal about the age of the Chinese gymnasts. Then a former U.S. gymnast admitted to competing while under age. Those Chinese girls look very young and Steve's not just talking about their last name. |
| 9:48
| So Steve's going to Twitter during the show in case something big comes up. Buzz wants to know how people get Twittered by Steve. Maybe Ed should call in for this. Steve's pretty sure people just click on the Twitter page link on Dahl.com and choose to be Twittered by Steve. |
| 9:49
| Ed Silha is on the phone. Twitter is as simple as Steve said it was. It's also not called a Twitter page on Dahl.com, Ed changed the lingo. They can mess around with all that later. |
| 9:50
| Steve signed up for a Twitter from the White Sox beat reporter at the Sun-Times. Throughout the day Steve gets information from him about line-ups or whatever and it's pretty helpful. |
| 9:51
| People always ask Steve how he prepares for the show and he sort of does it all day. Last night he Twittered that he ordered Chinese food and then today he sends Brendan to Chinatown, it's as easy as that. |
| 9:55
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:56
| Steve's going to Twitter something right now so Buzz should go to Dahl.com and wait for it to come in. There it is now, awesome. Buzz doesn't see it. Did he hit refresh? |
| 9:57
| Buzz still isn't seeing it. Steve sees no support staff in the hall so he's just going to tell Buzz what it says. "We will finish sandwich talk tomorrow" Buzz sees it now. |
| 9:58
| Buzz would like to congratulate Steve for spelling "tomorrow" correctly. Steve always spells it incorrectly and then his phone corrects it. |
| 9:59
| Would Buzz like another Twitter? Steve's a slow typer so he'll be right with him. He might have to refresh the page too. |
| 10:00
| This is the new talking Buzz. Steve and Buzz will probably have to keep talking based on the pace at which they Twitter. But anyway we'll continue sandwich talk tomorrow along with so much more. |
