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| 5:33
| Steve only has a few lyrics for the opening theme today. It's better that way, it gives Steve and Buzz a nice music bed to talk over. That's just what he had intended. |
| 5:34
| Steve did not watch the Olympics last night, he just couldn't do it. He's going to say something, even though he knows it's wrong. They aired a piece about Shawn Johnson and her life in Des Moines. There was video of her walking down the aisle of a grocery story in cutoff shorts and her ass looked so hot. |
| 5:35
| At that point Steve had to turn that off because he knew it was wrong. He imagines that was a Dahl's Grocery story, that's the big chain in Des Moines. He'll have to see if that store is owned by relatives and if they have any surveillance footage. |
| 5:36
| Shawn Johnson ended up with the silver last night as Steve learned this morning. That Nastia girl won which is good because her dad was on the floor with her and he seems fairly hardcore. He's a former Olympic gymnast who never won the gold, that was repeated all throughout the broadcast. He also said that gold is the only color that matters in their family. |
| 5:37
| That Nastia is pretty cute but Steve prefers the rack on Shawn Johnson. If someone were to ask him which one he would choose, first he'd try for both. But then he'd want to average their ages out since Nastia is 18 and Shawn Johnson is 16. Not that it's going to happen or anything. |
| 5:38
| Shawn Johnson is younger and seems a little perkier so she probably doesn't mind the silver. It's a good thing Nastia won the gold, it seems like she was going to kill herself if she didn't win. |
| 5:39
| It seemed like Nastia was right on the verge of lighting up a cigarette. It seems like she's ready to go nuts, which happens to a lot of Olympians. Steve once saw Mary Lou Reton at the Illinois Center across the street. She smiled at him, that was the extent of it. |
| 5:40
| Buzz was interviewed Mary Lou in Florida. For a job? They used to refer to her as a horse. Is that how you want to be referred to if you're a girl? |
| 5:41
| Steve's getting some gymnastics info from Mary. She went to bed early and then woke up early to watch the Olympics. Steve had to just end it. He turned the TV off and waited for the Ambien to kick in. It was almost like an execution. |
| 5:42
| Mary says that after Shawn won the silver she waved and smiled at Mary Lou so she seems fine with it. She's heading back to Des Moines and going back to high school. And somewhere in Des Moines there's a really lucky 16-year-old boy who's going to date her. |
| 5:43
| Alright we've got Brendan out and about, do we want to talk to him now? We've decided to send Brendan over to the Air & Water Show today. Buzz might be thinking that there's nothing going on over there but before the show Steve was watching the news in his office and all of the stations had reporters over there. |
| 5:44
| That's what you have to do if you want to be successful and professional, send your reporter to a place where nothing has happened yet. It's like being a fortune teller. |
| 5:45
| Brendan is right between the Magnificent Mile and North Avenue Beach. Why did he go there, is it just somewhere to sit? Right now there's a guy swimming in the water. On purpose or did he fall in? |
| 5:46
| It seems like the guys friends are sitting on the shore waiting for him. It sounds like maybe they were at a bar doing some drinking, watching Michael Phelps and thinking they could do what he did. |
| 5:47
| If the guy is drowning is Brendan prepared to jump in and save him? Brendan doesn't really know CPR but he'd probably try to do something anyway. You'd think Brendan would know how to do CPR just from watching TV. |
| 5:48
| Right now the beach is being combed in preparation for the Air & Water Show. You want to get all the used condoms and cigarette butts out of there before the families show up. Today is a bonus day for the Air & Water Show, Bill Murray's doing his jump today. |
| 5:49
| Brendan's worried about Bill Murray with that third celebrity death still lingering out there. Florence Henderson is opening today's festivities by singing the National Anthem. |
| 5:50
| Steve thinks the third death has to be an African-American since the last two were Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes. It seems like Morgan Freeman cheated death which is so typical for him. |
| 5:51
| Then you've got Gary Sinise and the Lt. Dan Band playing after Bill Murray's jump. Why doesn't he try to live off that Forrest Gump role for just a little longer? |
| 5:52
| All those Steppenwolf people act like they're so cool but they all end up on really bad TV shows. The Lt. Dan Band is just a cover band! And Sinise is only the bass player. If he were the third celebrity death the band's music will live on because a bass player is easily replaced...with a kick drum! |
| 5:53
| Brendan now knows why there are so many good looking women in Chicago, they're all out running early in the morning. What time does that go on because Steve has some free time between 5 and 5:30. |
| 5:54
| Are they all scantily clad? Are they going with the baseball cap ponytail look too? Brendan's a big fan of that look. Is he going to start grinding with these women? |
| 6:00
| Steve's Twittering right now, is Air & Water Show capitalized? Steve's just going to Twitter that Brendan is at North Avenue Beach in case listeners want to stop by. |
| 6:01
| Buzz is wondering Brendan has any prizes to give listeners. How about a free grind? Brendan grinds with the best of them. Steve has seen Brendan grind women into submission. Next thing you know they're on the ground and some cops are standing over them. |
| 6:02
| Steve has 277 people following his Twitter. That's it?! Steve wants at least 100,000 otherwise he won't want to be funny. |
| 6:03
| Steve's going to be giving Air & Water Show facts all day as Chuck Yeager. This is the 50th Air & Water Show. So they were doing it when Steve was 3 years old. Charles Lindbergh was in the first one. |
| 6:04
| This just in, Vicki the intern overslept. With Brendan out at North Avenue Beach one of the interns would normally answer the phones. Stephanie is doing it today although it's not her favorite job because she gets into tussles with callers. That attitude is great when she's doing stuff for Steve though. |
| 6:05
| Vicki says she thought she was hitting the snooze button but instead turned her alarm off. The snooze should be taken off of all alarm clocks by law. If you have to use the snooze that means you didn't set your alarm early enough. Otherwise you hit the snooze and you're 15 minutes late to work. |
| 6:06
| Wait, here's Vicki now, Ms. Snooze Button. She knows what the punishment is for being late, spankings in the office after the show! |
| 6:07
| News with Buzz |
| 6:08
| Condoleezza Rice is expected to arrive in Tibilisi, Georgia today to show U.S. support for the country. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates says this could affect Russia/US relations for years to come. Ya think?! |
| 6:09
| Hillary Clinton's name will be placed among nominees at this month's Democratic National Convention. The move is meant to curtail Clinton supporters from protesting the convention. |
| 6:10
| A Texas prisoner who killed a police officer while on the lam was executed last night. He apologized to the family of his victim asked to be executed and requested a fried chicken, grilled pork steak, a bacon cheeseburger, french fries with ketchup and a salad. Pork steak? What's with the multiple entrees with these guys? Pick one thing you love and have three of them. |
| 6:11
| Steve does do something similar when he's staying in a hotel though. It's almost like his last meal. He wouldn't get three meats though, he'd probably get a burger, some pasta, maybe a spring roll and some soup. It's a last meal but it's a little more balanced. |
| 6:12
| Buzz's daughter comes home periodically with Burger King, she loves Burger King. She can't quite make it through an entire burger so Buzz usually finishes it. Then it totally tips him in the wrong direction. Whatever he was planning on eating, that changes because he has to go burger. |
| 6:13
| Steve has to interrupt Buzz because Brendan has a pilot on the phone who's going to fly Bill Murray. |
| 6:14
| On the phone is Joe, he's a staff sergeant. He'll actually be jumping with Bill Murray today. They're gonna be about 30,000 feet above Chicago. On purpose? |
| 6:15
| It said in the paper today that they'll be able to talk to each other but you can't hear anything while you're falling right? During the freefall you can't really talk but you can once the parachutes open. Is Joe going to start quoting Caddyshack to calm Bill down? |
| 6:16
| Joe is a Golden Knight, Steve's seen them land at sporting events. Once he gets his chute open landing is like jumping off a stool. |
| 6:17
| A lot of people don't know that the military uses tandem jumping in combat. For instance if you need to get a translator behind enemy lines you don't have to worry about certifying him for free fall, you can just tandem jump with him. |
| 6:18
| Does Joe pack his own chute? We can't lose a Bill Murray. Joe's system has a back-up chute. Steve heard that at first Bill Murray was good but now he's starting to freak out about it. |
| 6:26
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 6:27
| Alright let's get back to the news with Buzz. Donald Trump is buying Ed McMahon's 6 bedroom LA home and leasing it back to Ed. |
| 6:28
| Ed is having some financial trouble. That's probably because Johnny isn't on the air any more. Ed did other things but probably not enough to buy a $5 million house. Someone should have stepped in and warned Ed he couldn't afford the place. |
| 6:29
| Waukegan police are urging citizens to remain calm after police shot and killed a suspect 6 times. The suspect was wielding a hammer and started hitting a cop with it. |
| 6:30
| Steve realizes that it's a hammer versus a gun but if you start hitting a cop with a hammer you should be shot. The significant thing in this story is that the victim's father appeared with police and urged everyone to remain calm. Still, you have to ask why the guy was shot 6 times. |
| 6:31
| Chicago Police will be on the lookout for drunk drivers tonight as part of a DUI Task Force. It takes place from 7 pm tonight to 3 am tomorrow. Be careful Buzz! That's taking place in the 17th and 19th districts. |
| 6:32
| The Cubs beat the Braves yesterday, sweeping the series in Atlanta. Do the Cubs ever lose any more? You know how they always say "that's why you play the game" in baseball, the Cubs don't even have to play the games because they keep winning. |
| 6:33
| The Sox beat the Royals on back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs. It happened right after Steve and Pat left. Steve has missed every single great moment in recent White Sox history. He wasn't at the final World Series game, he missed Buehrle's no-hitter and he missed Thome's 500th home run. |
| 6:34
| It was really hot yesterday and Pat was making fun of Steve for how much he was sweating. Steve came right from working out with Tom Thayer, then downed two ham and cheese sandwiches. Pat recommended them and they were good but maybe they didn't need two. |
| 6:35
| Steve and Pat left in the top of the 6th, all of the home runs came in the bottom of that inning. Just for the record, Pat had to work which is why the left. Plus Steve could use that as an excuse since he was really hot. Lance Broadway pitched for the Sox, who names their kid Lance Broadway? |
| 6:36
| The Cubs take on the Marlins tonight in Florida while the Sox are in Oakland. The Bears second preseason game is Saturday in Seattle. Michael Phelps won his 6th medal while Nastia Luikin won gold in gymnastics and Shawn Johnson won silver. |
| 6:37
| We now go live to Major Russ Campbell of the Blue Angels. Actually Brendan is still on the line. The last time Brendan had the guy on the phone when Steve went to him. Now Brendan has unnecessarily inserted himself into the call. Is he going to keep changing that up all day to keep Steve on his toes? |
| 6:38
| Steve saw the Blue Angels practicing yesterday while he was at the Sox game. As usually it looks awesome. As a taxpayer Steve sits there saying "This is awesome, those are my planes!" |
| 6:39
| Major Campbell flies the cargo plane that kicks things off for the Air Show. But he gets to hang out with the Blue Angels pilots right? In Steve's mind the pilots head down to Rush Street, still in their flight suits, to start working chicks. |
| 6:40
| Russ is a single guy and he'd like to say he does that but after they land he has to spend an hour debriefing. Then they get into their civilian clothes and take in the local sights. Does he at least have a Blue Angels pin he can wear or something? Russ doesn't have one but if Steve's selling something he'd be interested. |
| 6:41
| Everything kicks off today after Bill Murray jumps. The weather is going to be great all weekend, not that Steve has to tell Russ that. He's a pilot. |
| 6:42
| Those pilots have to have a lapel pin or something that they can wear, maybe a nice screaming eagle. There's a way pilots carry themselves where you can tell who they are. So hide your women, that's all Steve is saying. |
| 6:43
| Song: Sweet Emotion, Aerosmith |
| 6:46
| Everyone hide your women, that's all Steve is saying. Those pilots are all cool guys, even the one flying the cargo plane. |
| 6:54
| Steve hates when a White Sox home run gets in the way of Hawk recounting some of his financial troubles. DJ called the first two of yesterday's 4 consecutive home runs because Hawk takes the 6th inning off. After 2 home runs in a row though Hawk has to step back into the booth. |
| 6:55
| Time for another Air & Water Show fact from Chuck Yeager. There's free bike parking at Theater on the Lake which is at Fullerton and the lake. That's where all those hambone Lincoln Park people perform. Roger that. |
| 6:56
| You know who has an awesome bike, Tom Thayer. Steve's getting one just like him, it's a black bike with an 8-ball on it and it has a crudely constructed look so you can see the welds. Steve's getting one just like it. |
| 6:57
| Alright it's time for another special report from Beijing with our own Beijing Gay. Ben is here with a special report on the body of one Michael Phelps. This was broadcast last night on NBC and it's the best thing they've had on the Olympics so far. |
| 6:58
| Ben would like to play the report now, just listen to this Buzz. This is like Olympics porn to Ben. Stand back Buzz! Is Buzz listening to this? Size 14 feet! Even Buzz must be getting off on this. |
| 6:59
| Phelps also has a flat backside. It sounds like the perfect man to Ben. Buzz doesn't know about a flat backside. That's just according to whoever did that very gay report on Michael Phelps' body for NBC. |
| 7:00
| Ben thinks a flat booty is a compliment but that's just him. Buzz isn't so sure about that. How about this, if Ben and Buzz are out at a bar and Michael Phelps walks in, Ben will take him. |
| 7:01
| News with Buzz |
| 7:02
| Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is on a mission to get Georgia's president to sign a peace accord. |
| 7:03
| Meanwhile Michael Phelps won his 6th gold medal in the Rebecca Sonie won her first medal in the 200m breaststroke. She's a good breaststroker? Venus and Serena Williams were both knocked out. In their hotel rooms or of the competition? Roger Federer was also knocked out, the professional tennis players don't care. Federer has Grand Slam trophies that he's using as doorstops. |
| 7:04
| Ellen DeGeneres is set to wed girlfriend Portia di Rossi this weekend in a small ceremony with family and friends. You have to like what Ellen is doing there. |
| 7:05
| Barack Obama has hit back at author Jerome Corsi with a 40 page rebuttal. Obama says the book contains all the lies and innuendo that the Republicans have been using against him, including that he was raised a Muslim and that he has a secret, hidden black rage. Who doesn't? |
| 7:06
| Cockpit tapes have been released from an emergency landing of Obama's campaign plane in St. Louis two months ago. A FAA spokesman had originally said there was no emergency but that's not what you hear on the tape. If you have a Barack Obama on your plane you might thrown down an emergency just so you can land quicker. |
| 7:07
| Batman star Christian Bale will not face charges in connection with an incident at a London hotel involving his mother and sister. Authorities said there was not enough evidence to charge him with any crime. |
| 7:08
| A new study shows that drinking a single can of Red Bull can increase your risk of heart attack or stroke. Excellent! Steve's having one right now. |
| 7:09
| The Air & Water Show begins in Chicago today at 3 pm with a tandem parachute jump with Bill Murray. Florence Henderson will kick things off by singing the National Anthem and afterwards Gary SInise's Lt. Dan Band will perform. That's just a well-rounded day right there. |
| 7:10
| We still have Brendan standing by at North Avenue Beach with another pilot. Steve didn't think anything would be going on there today but there's a lot happening. Brendan says it's great, there's jet skis. Way to put things in perspective. |
| 7:11
| On the phone is Captain Chris Birdtholt, he's an F-22 Raptor pilot. Those things are awesome. Is that what we normally see on a fly-over at a sporting event? Those are normally F-15s. |
| 7:12
| F-22s are relatively new, about three years old. They can fly stealth without using afterburners and they've got a whole bunch of other things Chris can't tell Steve about. |
| 7:13
| Now after Chris flies, does he go down to Rush Street in his flight suit? Chris tries to avoid doing that. You probably don't need to do that if you're a pilot. That's what Steve would be doing though, he wouldn't be able to take his flight suit off. |
| 7:14
| Steve's pretty sure that as soon as he's done talking to a pilot, Brendan offers to be their tour guide for Rush Street. He'll probably have his own honorary flight suit by day's end. |
| 7:15
| Caller Robin flew into Midway from Vegas last night and stopped at Giordano's on Cicero. They were sitting there when two guys came in wearing flight suits. That was actually Steve and Buzz, they were pretending to be pilots. |
| 7:16
| First little kids started coming up and asking if they were pilots, then some girls walk up and start talking to them. They said they weren't Blue Angel pilots but the girls asked if they knew them. They were copter pilots and they told the girls they could get them free passes. The Air Show is free of course. |
| 7:17
| It should be enough to be a copter pilot but not when the Blue Angels are in town. Then you have to go with the flight suit and the free passes at Giordano's. Did the Giordano's guy come up to Robin and tell her "it's the fresh ingredients!" |
| 7:18
| What's the point of this call, just to bum Steve out? He doesn't want to think about the pilots having to work a Giordano's. The pilots weren't exactly Tom Cruise look-a-likes either. |
| 7:19
| Who flies home from Vegas and goes to Giordano's anyway? At least order it and go home. |
| 7:24
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 7:25
| Caller 5 to (312) 616-1043 will win 2 tickets to see Cheech & Chong. Those tickets go on sale today, it seems like everyone really wants to see this show. |
| 7:26
| Alright we've got Jeff Joniak on the phone right now. |
| 7:27
| We did the full metal introduction this week. Last week we had nothing but we're also working our way up to the season. |
| 7:28
| The game sounds a lot more exciting when you condense the highlights like that. And of course everyone knows how Steve feels about Caleb Hanie, it's good to hear his highlights. |
| 7:29
| Tom was getting text messages in the booth last week while Hanie was in, Jeff didn't know they were from Steve. Jeff also got a lot of texts and emails from friends who were enthusiastic about Hanie. |
| 7:30
| Steve just likes the way Hanie carried himself. Unfortunately Ron Turner isn't smart enough to realize what he has. Jeff thinks Caleb endeared himself to Bears fans when he scrambled for that first down and didn't go out of bounds. |
| 7:31
| As it turns out Jeff is not in Seattle today as Steve was told he would be. They were going to play Guess the Room Services prices. After three weeks being at camp Jeff sort of lost track of time and thought the game was today. |
| 7:32
| It's a good thing Jeff didn't show up in Seattle today, no one would be there. Jeff likes Seattle though. Steve's only been once but just like on Frasier, everything up there is wood. All the doors are wood, that's their cheapest resource. |
| 7:33
| Little Z wanted Jeff to tell Steve that he has the road trip dinners under control for this season. Tonight they're going to the original McCormick's seafood. Last year Little Z was taking them to some crazy places. |
| 7:34
| Tom is coming with the team later so he won't be joining the broadcast crew for dinner. Jeff heard that Steve's been working out with Tom, he's really hoping Steve isn't late any more. |
| 7:35
| Steve and Tom have an understanding which is that Steve isn't late any more. Yesterday he was only 6 minutes late. Steve can see where Jeff is coming from when he talks about this stuff during broadcasts. Tom has a plan and you better stick to it. |
| 7:36
| Jeff has been told that Seattle is experiencing record heat that will go into the weekend, he was wondering if Steve could pull up a weather forecast for him. The forecast is for 90º today. Jeff heard something about an air stagnation warning. Those people are wusses out there, they're walking around in their hiking boots. |
| 7:37
| What is an air stagnation warning? Does that mean the air isn't mountainy enough? Jeff will pack his shorts and sandals and a mask. It can't be that bad right? |
| 7:38
| That stadium out there is perfect though, as is their baseball stadium. They've got that retractable roof in case they need it too. The grass is so pristine that they wouldn't even let Tom and Jeff out there during pre-game. If you're on the field you can't even drink coffee. In Seattle! They have to really be freaking out with the stagnant air. |
| 7:39
| A combination of hot weather and a stagnant air mass will cause a drop in air quality. If you have asthma problems you should restrict outdoor activities. Jeff's going to be choking during the broadcast on the touchdown calls. Luckily he won't have to worry about that during the first half. |
| 7:40
| So Rex is starting at QB and then Orton will come in. Caleb Hanie should play in the second half. Will that be all of the second half? They might have Orton playing a little longer tomorrow since his snaps were sort of limited last week when the Chiefs had that 16 play opening drive. |
| 7:41
| Buzz heard that Kyle Orton was spotted leaving camp in a Toyota Prius hybrid. That's not a QB car! Kyle's very environmentally conscious. Good for him but he should be driving a Lamborghini. |
| 7:42
| He's about to get on a chartered jet and fly to Seattle, that's going to undo anything he does with the Prius. On the other end of the spectrum Tommie Harris has this giant truck you can hear coming from a mile away. |
| 7:43
| Jeff's really looking forward to seeing Matt Forte unleash things in the next game. Everyone is speaking very highly of him, even the guys on defense. You never see that happening. |
| 7:44
| Kevin Jones will not play tomorrow night but he's still a very good back up to have on your team. |
| 7:45
| Steve will get off this Caleb Hanie stuff once the season starts. But he likes Hanie, he likes the way he carries himself, he's got the Tom Brady swagger. Buzz wants to know if he has a girlfriend. |
| 7:46
| Steve would hope that he has a girlfriend, Maybe he'll get a supermodel girlfriend and then knock her up or something. |
| 7:56
| Steve likes Kyle Orton-between him and Rex he'd take Kyle, but he can't support a Toyota Prius. |
| 7:57
| Alright, time for another Air & Water Show fact from Chuck Yeager. The budget of the first show was $88 and included a Coast Guard boat and a water ballet. |
| 7:58
| $88 wouldn't even cover the gas for this year's Air Show, unless you're Kyle Orton. C'mon Kyle, get off that Prius! |
| 7:59
| Alright time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Friday which means it's the Weekend Kick-Off. Don't forget that Taco Bell is open late so get something on your way home from a night out. |
| 8:00
| News with Buzz |
| 8:01
| Steve's not in much better shape than Buzz to do the news. Does Buzz need some water? He doesn't, what a pro. |
| 8:02
| Condoleezza Rice is in Georgia to get that country's president to sign a peace agreement. They've refused to sign the peace agreement brokered by France until it could be examined more closely. |
| 8:03
| Russia is denying that they dropped cluster bombs on Georgian villages. A human rights group has video proving otherwise. |
| 8:04
| There's a gold rush at the Beijing Olympics. Steve loves when Buzz paints the pictures with the words. Michael Phelps captured his 6th gold medal by winning the 200m individual medley. |
| 8:05
| A top Russian general said today that Poland's agreement to accept a U.S. missile battery exposes them to attacks, possibly even nuclear. What's up with Russia, they're stirring everyone up! Is it because China is getting all the attention lately? |
| 8:06
| The incident involving Barack Obama's campaign plane last month was apparently more serious than the FAA initially let on. A spokesperson for the FAA said that the pilot never declared an emergency when in fact he did according to tapes released to ABC yesterday. |
| 8:07
| At least 28 workers have been arrested outside of Disneyland for protesting. Among the workers were Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Aladdin. They weren't sanctioned though right? |
| 8:08
| Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick will wear a court-ordered ankle bracelet and will not be able to attend the Democratic National Convention. That's a big loss for the party. |
| 8:08
| Texas executed convicted killer MIchael Rodriguez last night. For his last meal he requested fried chicken, grilled pork steak, a bacon cheeseburger, french fries with ketchup and a salad. Earlier Steve and Buzz were wondering what a pork steak is, it's cut from the shoulder or Boston roast. |
| 8:09
| The Cubs swept the Braves last night, they take on the Marlins tonight with Carlos Zambrano taking the bump. |
| 8:10
| The Sox swept the Royals behind back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs which Steve missed because he left early. |
| 8:11
| Nastia Luikin won a gold medal in gymnastics yesterday. As far as Steve's concerned Shawn Johnson won the gold for best ass during that behind-the-scenes piece they did on her on NBC. |
| 8:12
| That might have been Paula Faris doing the piece which makes it even hotter. Or maybe it was part of the network broadcast, Steve can't remember. |
| 8:13
| We now go live to Brendan Greeley at North Avenue Beach, he's standing here with Florence Henderson. Nice! She's going to be singing the National Anthem today. |
| 8:14
| On the phone is Florence Henderson, she's throwing out the National Anthem around 2:45 today. She's down by the lake and it's gorgeous. Yesterday she flew with the Lima Lima boys. Did they all try to hit on Florence and take her out to dinner afterwards? |
| 8:15
| After Florence sings Bill Murray will jump out of a plane. Initially she had the choice to jump out of a plane of fly with the Lima Lima boys and she chose to fly. We wouldn't mind hearing Bill Murray sing the National Anthem though. |
| 8:16
| Florence will be at the show tomorrow and Sunday at the Rain Soft Booth, it's a water purification system and they're also supporting Mayor Daley's green initiative. |
| 8:17
| Does Florence Henderson have any dinner plans for tonight? Off the top of her head she doesn't. On a Friday night?! Steve would be happy to take her out somewhere. Steve's favorite restaurants in the city are the steakhouses but Florence doesn't eat too much meat. |
| 8:18
| Yeah, Steve was working Florence Henderson there. Steve might have to explain himself after coming home late from a dinner for Florence at Nick's Fishmarket. |
| 8:19
| David Hochberg is on the phone, it's time for their weekly play. Steve will be playing Doug, a 25-year-old machinist, while Buzz as usual will be playing Betty. |
| 8:20
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:21
| Technically David isn't from the Steve Dahl Show, despite what it says on the script. He doesn't attend post-show meetings or show dinners. He could though, he'd probably pay for the dinners too. OK, he's in. |
| 8:22
| Pete's handling the legal end of to today's commercial. This is the last time we do the Economic Stimulus add-on in these commercials. It's like a second commercial is starting up. |
| 8:23
| Steve's going to have to charge David for a second commercial and he's buying appetizers at the staff dinner. |
| 8:30
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 8:31
| Chuck Yeager's checking in with some more Air & Water Show facts. Chuck invented the way pilots talk, did Buzz know that? If you listen to the way pilots talk, they all sound like Chuck. |
| 8:32
| Chuck used to fly over the desert testing planes and people heard him talk and it sounded cool so they started copying him. The city of Chicago says that over 2 million people watch the Air & Water Show every year. That's the same size as the population of Houston which is the fourth largest city in the country. Over and out Buzz. |
| 8:33
| Alright it's time for another special report from Beijing Gay, our Olympics reporter. |
| 8:34
| Ben would like to share something with Buzz and listeners that he shared earlier, a description of Michael Phelps' body by someone at NBC. It's someone Ben would like to meet because it sounds like he knows his way around a gentlemen's body. |
| 8:35
| It was on NBC but it sounds like it should be on that MTV gay channel. What's it called again? Fuse? It's actually Logo, no wonder Ben couldn't remember. What kind of name is that? |
| 8:36
| Earlier today Buzz took umbrage with the NBC reporter saying Phelps had a flat backside. If that's what it takes to win, then fine but Buzz hasn't noticed it. |
| 8:37
| When Phelps is competing you don't really see his backside anyway. Buzz has a flat butt too, doesn't he? Buzz would prefer "rounded" but he doesn't have a rounded butt. |
| 8:38
| How about a tight butt, is that better? He looks good in that swimsuit to Ben. The flat butt probably works better while you're swimming. |
| 8:39
| That's a $500 swimsuit he's wearing. It's so tight that it takes two people to get it on. Ben has already applied to be the second person at the next Olympic games. |
| 8:40
| Ben has a picture of MIchael Phelps' butt and it is pretty flat. Buzz understands doing whatever it takes to win those gold medals, including shaving down your butt. Ben wouldn't mind shaving down his butt. |
| 8:41
| Ben saw a story in the Red Eye today about hairless bodies for men. It's not shaving though, it's waxing. Why would you want to have a hairless body unless you're a swimmer? It seems silly but in some circles it might be desirable. It has a gay look to it. |
| 8:42
| After more than 4 decades of back hair growth, Red Eye reporter Jimmy Greenfield went to get it waxed off. Greenfield was quite comfortable until the ripping started. That's just like in 40 Year Old Virgin. |
| 8:43
| Steve never finished up the web poll yesterday about favorite sandwiches. The French dip actually won out with Steve's favorite Club sandwich coming in last. Those are shocking results. |
| 8:44
| The sandwich was supposedly invented by John Montague, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich. He wanted to eat a piece of meat but didn't want his hands to get dirty so he put the meat between two pieces of bread. These days sandwiches can get pretty messy though. They've forgot the purpose of the sandwich. |
| 8:51
| Chuck Yeager is checking in with some more AIr & Water Show facts. The show has grown to the largest free air and water exhibition in the country. God Bless American Buzz, over and out. |
| 8:52
| Alright it's time for the web poll. "Will you park at the Gary International Airport today for the pre-show of the Gary/Chicago Air & Water Show?" That's a very random question that seemed shoe-horned into fit with the article. |
| 8:53
| The airport will be offering parking and also opened their facilities to food and merchandise vendors. They're looking for any way to make more money as it's tight right not. They may have to slash their budget by 15% next year. |
| 8:54
| Airport officials say budget cuts could lead to decreased safety and an inability to comply with FAA regulations. |
| 8:55
| Steve got himself an RV after watching Breaking Bad, maybe he'll head out to Gary today and watch the air show. And he could sell some meth too, there are probably a lot of tweakers in Gary. |
| 8:56
| A few weekends ago Steve had a chance to visit the outskirts of Battle Creek, Michigan on his way to Detroit. They got off the expressway to go to Arby's but didn't know it was 5 miles off the road. |
| 8:57
| The Arby's was in the middle of nowhere and it was full of miscreants ordering roast beef sandwiches. There were definitely some tweakers present but can't you blame them? What else is there to do in Battle Creek? You're ugly, you're misshapen, you might as well do some meth. |
| 8:58
| Alright, let's talk to Brendan who's at North Avenue Beach. He's turned this into quite an event. We've talked to a couple of pilots and Florence Henderson. Steve felt really old when Vicki asked who Florence Henderson was. She's only 20. |
| 8:59
| Brendan feels Brady Bunch is timeless. He keeps forgetting that Vicki is only 20 while Brendan is almost 40. He and Pete are the oldest teenagers in the world. |
| 9:00
| Brendan was just sitting with Florence Henderson watching the air show. Did she put her hand on his thigh? Did he try to grind her? |
| 9:01
| Brendan was talking to the Golden Knight who's jumping with Bill Murray today, he asked him how early he has to get up for the air show. He only got 3 hours of sleep last night but he won't be telling Bill that. |
| 9:02
| How much sleep do you need to jump out of a plane? Plus a freefall is probably going to wake you up. |
| 9:03
| So Brendan's just hanging out with the rest of his fellow reporters. Anyone from the R. Kelly trial? Brendan saw The Deaner, it seems to mostly be fluff reporters. |
| 9:04
| Brendan did see Randi Belisomo from CLTV, she covered the R. Kelly trial. She's pretty cute, has Brendan tried to grind her? It can't hurt, put her in the sausage grinder! |
| 9:05
| Brendan's waiting around for a little longer to see if Gary Sinise shows up. He's just there to support the troops and give pencils to the kids in Iraq. |
| 9:06
| What a bizarre line-up at the Air & Water Show today. First you've got Florence Henderson singing the National Anthem, then Bill Murray jumps out of a plane and probably about 2 hours of clean-up for that, then the Lt. Dan Band goes on at 5. |
| 9:07
| The Lt. Dan Band is a cover band and he's only the bass player! If they get a double kick drum they don't even need a bass player. Anyone can play bass. Playing bass is like playing right field for your high school baseball team. |
| 9:08
| Steve played bass in his high school band. All you need to learn is 4 notes and know how to keep the rhythm. |
| 9:09
| Steve would just like to say that all the cool people at Steppenwolf ended up on really lame TV shows. Both CSI shows are lame even though they're popular. Just because something is popular doesn't mean it's not lame. |
| 9:10
| Steve doesn't necessarily need to talk to Gary Sinise, he can pretty much do his voice on his own. |
| 9:11
| Song: Learning to Fly, Pink Floyd |
| 9:15
| Get it, Learning to Fly. Steve's going to take a break and then we're going to talk to Patrick Bertoletti who's in the Czech Republic. |
| 9:21
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:22
| On the phone is Patrick Bertoletti, all the way in the Czech Republic where they say "ahoy" for hello. Or it could be "chow" Patrick can't remember. That's what Steve likes about Patrick, his attention to details. |
| 9:23
| According to Steve's calculations there's a 7 hour time difference between Chicago and Prague. Tomorrow Patrick's competing in a preliminary contest with pickles, ice cream and spaghetti. Is he pregnant or something? |
| 9:24
| That's really just to line up the groupies for Sunday's big competition which is the plum dumplings. They sound pretty good, does that make it easier or harder to eat? |
| 9:25
| The competition lasts for an hour so Patrick is hoping to eat about 18 pounds. That's like the size of a large baby. |
| 9:26
| There was a fire in Pilsen, did Patrick's building burn down? He actually was coming home around 3 am when all the police and firemen were present and a cop started hassling him. Maybe they thought he was the arsonist, he has that look. |
| 9:27
| Buzz asks Patrick about the nightlife in Prague. He hasn't quite figured it out, it's been raining a lot. Steve hears it's really fun and your money goes a long way. On Monday Patrick is heading to London. Patrick did walk by a strip club and the guy working the door propositioned him with cheap sex. He just kept walking, he wasn't interested in that. That's your nightlife right there! |
| 9:28
| Steve's going to London in a few weeks so if Patrick has any good recommendations he should let him know. Patrick is going to Anthony Bourdain's favorite place where they serve all the pig parts. |
| 9:29
| Anthony Bourdain is dead to Steve. He was just in town filming an episode of his TV show with Mancow. Steve's been interviewing Tony for years! Mancow's not even on the air in Chicago! Who does Mancow's PR? |
| 9:30
| Patrick is going to try to look for the Czech version of Mallomar's for Buzz. Buzz doesn't need the Czech version but if Patrick stops off in New York can he pick up the originals? |
| 9:31
| Steve doesn't understand why they don't sell Mallomars in Chicago, Nabisco is based here. Buzz got an email from a listener who said they sell Mallomars at a grocery store in some suburb. Steve doesn't see Buzz getting into the car and driving out to the burbs for some Mallomars. |
| 9:32
| Just for the record Pete got the same email from that listener, he went to the grocery store and they didn't have Mallomars. Why didn't Pete tell Buzz that? |
| 9:33
| Pete doesn't tell anyone anything, hasn't Buzz learned that? Buzz would have been really frosted if he'd drove out there and didn't find any Mallomars, only to learn that Pete knew they didn't have them. |
| 9:34
| The grocery store is in Evanston which to Buzz is really far away. Pete didn't actually ask anyone if they carried Mallomars, it's part of his don't ask don't tell policy. |
| 9:35
| Buzz is wondering if maybe the Mallomars are seasonal. They're not that good Buzz! He has some sort of childhood connection to them. |
| 9:36
| Buzz hates to think of Patrick alone in a foreign country, it doesn't seem like he'd be able to take care of himself. He does have other competitive eaters with him. |
| 9:37
| Caller Mike was interested in purchasing some of those courtroom drawings from Brendan. He wanted to know if he really confiscated them from Buzz. |
| 9:38
| Steve wasn't really going to sell Buzz drawings that Brendan did. Instead they were taken and mounted and framed. Steve thought they were from him but they're actually for Buzz. |
| 9:39
| Buzz would probably try to sell them to Mike. Buzz didn't want them all framed together, he wanted to put on a show with the drawings. He's not even happy after Steve spent a good amount of money on this frame for him. |
| 9:40
| Buzz would have probably forgotten about the drawings anyway and they would look great in the office. Steve think Buzz will like the final product though, it's being brought down right now. |
| 9:41
| Steve probably spent $500 on this thing, it's the same as Buzz's birthday cake. It looks really nice though. |
| 9:42
| It actually only cost $250 to frame the drawings. Buzz can see how Steve thought it was his though right? Was that call just staged to get the frame into Buzz's hand? |
| 9:43
| Alright, time for a Mailbag. The first letter is about Brendan, suggesting he go out to report on obscure trials. We've been doing that the last two days but not to trials. |
| 9:44
| Let's now go live to Brendan at North Avenue Beach. He's up near the Castaways restaurant and people are already reserving spaces on the beach. Brendan's hoping to get a front row seat for the Lt. Dan Band. He's only got...what...7 hours or so before they go on. |
| 9:45
| There aren't many beach babes out yet, it's mostly families reserving spaces on the beach. |
| 9:46
| Florence Henderson is gone but she was telling all the reporters what a great town Chicago is. Everyone says that but no one ever stays. |
| 9:47
| The next email is concerning that weather report for Seattle. The emailer used to attend a yearly conference |
| 9:48
| The final emailer has a correction on yesterday's winner for the web poll for best sandwich. Congress has declared that the French dip now be called the Freedom dip. |
| 9:49
| Steve doesn't know if this is a security breach or not. There's a fire drill scheduled for the building for today. If they warn you about it, what's the point of having a drill. |
| 9:50
| Ron Gleason, program director at WBBM Nerds Radio, is the fire commander for the 11th floor. So this pertains to the 11th floor and Steve's offices. If it's a drill he's not leaving his office. |
| 9:51
| If you're on the air you don't have to participate in the drill. Lucky for Buzz he's usually either in the studio or not here. If the alarm goes off at 10 Buzz will already be on his way home and Steve will be up in his office hiding out from Ron Gleason. |
| 9:52
| Steve was listening to Ron Gleason during the California earthquake, he was out there on vacation. He was describing the hotel room he was in with his wife and daughter, it didn't sound like he'd spend much money on his vacation. |
| 9:59
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 10:00
| During that last break Buzz made what Steve felt was a very heartwarming gesture. He said he couldn't in good conscious keep the framed courtroom drawings Brendan did. Steve thought he was getting them back but Buzz, rightfully so, wants Brendan to have them. |
| 10:01
| These drawings represent a turning point in Brendan's life, when we realized he was more than a pretty voice. But since Brendan lives in a dilapidated apartment with some other dudes we're going to hold onto it for the time being. |
| 10:02
| Brendan actually lives on his own. He could use these drawings when he gets a grindee back to his apartment. If he thinks he can care for them then he can have them, otherwise Steve will hold on to them for safe keeping. That was a very nice gesture from Buzz, albeit with Steve's money. |
