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| 5:32
| Gooooooooood morning everyone, how are you today? Hopefully everyone is good. And how is Buzz doing? Steve has some inside information for anyone that tuned in at....5:31 and...what time is it? |
| 5:33
| Steve has several clocks in the studio, all with different times. One clock says it's 5:32, one says 5:31:06 and two that say 5:33. Those might be the accurate ones. Buzz's clock says 5:33 and mark. That's the official Steve Dahl Show time. |
| 5:34
| For weeks Steve has been horsing around with lyrics for the opening theme but he won't have that to kick around any more. That's because the show will now be on from 5 am to 9 am and the show will start off with a newscast. |
| 5:35
| So Steve won't be playing that opening theme any more, it'll just go right into the news. The morning drive time has shifted so 5 to 9 is a better time to be on. |
| 5:36
| Buzz actually prefers to go right into the news like that. Next week the show will be on hiatus but the Best Of will start at 5 am. That Tonya girl, who talks to Roseanne on those timeshare commercials, will be doing news at 5, 6 and 7 next week. Some people find her voice to be sexy. Buzz won't hand out any compliments to his substitutes. Steve finds Buzz's voice sexy too though. |
| 5:37
| Steve's going to have oxygen brought in for himself and Buzz just to wake them up in the morning. Steve might actually just cart around an oxygen tank at home too since his family is always complaining about how loud he breathes. |
| 5:38
| Steve's entire family is on him about how loud he breathes and how loud he eats. Steve feels it's all fueled by Pat Dahl. Last night Steve was helping Pat Dahl with a cover letter for his resume. |
| 5:39
| He even decided to forgo his run so he could help Pat. He had to stop so he could make a pick in that stupid Steve Dahl Show fantasy football league. Steve doesn't want to call it stupid and offend Ed, it's his baby. It's not stupid but can we change the name to something other than the Thomas Jones Memorial League? It's depressing. |
| 5:40
| Every night around dinner Janet mysteriously disappears so that no food has to be made. She's going across the street to visit their neighbor who has breast cancer though. That trumps Steve's dinner. |
| 5:41
| So Pat's wife brought home some Boston Market and Pat, in anticipation of Steve getting ready to eat, cranked up the volume on the TV. It's like Steve's family wants him dead. Buzz doesn't think so, if Steve was dead they couldn't harass him. |
| 5:42
| Steve doesn't think he breathes loudly or eats loudly. Todd Cavanah is a straight shooter, if something like that was going on he would tell Steve. Yesterday he told Steve that he had to be off by 9 am because of how the ratings are taken. People in offices want to hear music and Steve agrees. Rush hour has shifted from 5 am to 9 am. By 9 you're done with drive-time radio and you're ready to kick back with some Huey Lewis. |
| 5:43
| Although Jack is trying to play hipper music and cut out the dance stuff. Steve's fine cutting out the dance music. The other night Buzz and Aimee were watching Swingtown, which only has one episode left. It's actually be canceled. There was one point where everyone was learning to disco dance. They're wearing the ridiculous clothes but some how the actors are making it happen because they're actors. Then Aimee says "Disco sucks my ass". That's because disco sucks. |
| 5:44
| So Steve's going to get oxygen tanks and then leave his on to assist with his breathing. He has to breathe! Steve's family is so mean to him under the guise of helping him. If there was something irritating going on Buzz would tell Steve. Steve has done the entire show without breathing. |
| 5:45
| So the Best Of will start at 5 next Monday and then when Steve and Buzz come back they'll start at 5. They're out of here by 9, if they can work their sleeping and napping schedule properly it'll almost be like not having a job. They'll be wondering around the lobby figuring out where to go after the show when people are just getting into work. There's a Starbucks down in that train station where they can hang out. |
| 5:46
| There is a Subway down in that train station and they must crank out a thousand sandwiches a day. Steve always sees people with Subway sandwiches. There's another Subway further into the Pedway but people might not know about it, it could be too far in and therefore unvisited by humans. |
| 5:47
| That tunnel hasn't been completed yet so that could be part of the reason. It's supposed to go all the way to Block 37 and then city hall. That one further in the Pedway serves breakfast but Steve's not sure what that is. Is it an egg sandwich? |
| 5:48
| Steve ate something the other day that might have been a mistake. He was driving to Michigan and he had to stop to use the bathroom. He also thought about buying handgun at Bass Pro Shop. It seems like pretty soon everyone will be allowed to have a handgun. |
| 5:49
| Steve's already allowed to have a handgun, it's just people in the city who can't have them. Someday the people of the suburbs could take up arms and overthrown the city government. The only hope in the city is the gangbangers, they're armed. They'd probably take a third party position and try to exploit the situation. |
| 5:50
| After using the bathroom Steve stopped at a Starbuck's and got an Arnold Palmer and an apple fritter. It was the best apple fritter Steve has ever had and he really hopes they don't sell them in the Starbuck's we go to around here. |
| 5:51
| Steve calls up to the office where Stephanie answers with a very sexy "Hey". She's just out of breath from running into the office. That's OK though, sexiness is encouraged. It's right in her handbook, followed by instructions to not lead Steve and Buzz on. |
| 5:52
| Stephanie has seen apple fritters at the Starbucks on occasion but usually they just have their staples like the bagels. This one at the Portage was perfectly fried and probably has a couple of thousand calories in it. |
| 5:53
| Steve has also noticed that a woman is hand writing notes on his coffee cup. Stephanie has been going there since November but only after Jordan and Vicki started going to get coffee did the notes start showing up. |
| 5:54
| The notes are from the manager who didn't know who the coffee was for. Is that because Stephanie didn't tell her because she's embarrassed? Stephanie is a Columbia College grad now working for a disgraced former trustee of the school. |
| 5:55
| Stephanie thought she had mentioned who the coffee was for, the baristas always make small talk with her. Stephanie doesn't do small talk though does she? Today there's no note on Steve's drink though, who went to get the coffee? |
| 5:56
| Vicki got the coffee and she just walked in if Steve wants to talk to her. It sounds like Vicki has also read the handbook. She went to get the coffee today and they didn't have what Steve likes, the energy shot. The woman who normally writes Steve the notes wasn't there either. Vicki says the woman is OK looking. Steve wasn't going to go there, it sounds like there might be some jealousy coming from Vicki. |
| 6:02
| Good morning everyone, it's 6 am or thereabouts depending on which clock Steve is looking at. This hour of the show is brought to you by Windy City Limo and Buzz just came into the studio in a mini limo. |
| 6:03
| Last night on TV Buzz saw a Windy City Limo vehicle that looked more like a truck. It was very cool looking. Did it have windows? Steve will have to ask that George guy about it if he sees him at the Sox game today. George is the guy who sits behind home plate wearing that M & M's NASCAR jacket. |
| 6:04
| Sometimes that stupid Sox mascot will put the jacket on because he wants to be on TV. And George has told Steve that he's a "TV whore" as well, hence the yellow M & M's jacket even when it's 100º out. |
| 6:05
| Steve went with the cargo shorts as well as a t-shirt and an undershirt. It gets really hot out there and Steve feels the undershirt mitigates some of that sweating. |
| 6:06
| News with Buzz |
| 6:07
| Barack Obama supporters are being advised to stay close to their cellphones or computers as the candidate could announce at any moment who his running mate will be. Did someone on the show sign up for that email? It'll probably be on CNN right away though. |
| 6:08
| Our own Ed Silha, who has a different Barack Obama pin for every outfit he wears, is volunteering on the campaign so he might be the one sending out the email. |
| 6:09
| Speaking of Ed, there's a new feature on Dahl.com. Sometimes Steve will talk about a photo of something and on this new section of the website Ed's going to post those photos. Today's photos include the greatest Olympic ass shot from that Swedish runner as well as the photo of Michael Phelps weiner. It shows his wingspan and his rudder. A lot of guys post up big but Steve's a grower. And when it happens he has to say it's pretty exciting. |
| 6:10
| Ed Silha is on the phone. He's not going to be sending out the email but he did sign up for the Obama email. So he'll tell Steve as soon as he knows. Buzz is wondering what Ed thinks of Tim Kane, the governor of Virginia. Buzz doesn't like his hair, it looks a bit too Krautish, like World War II but not our side. |
| 6:11
| Steve hasn't seen his hair but even knows that Evan Bayh guy has stylish hair. It looks like the haircut of a guy who's cheating on his wife, like John Edwards. Obama is planning a rally in Springfield for Saturday which made Steve think he was going to choose a statue of Lincoln as his running mate. The Vice President doesn't really do anything anyway. |
| 6:12
| Maybe he'll choose Blago as his running mate? Outside of Illinois no one really knows what a creep he is. His haircut makes him look like an abortionist. Steve doesn't know what that means but he likes it. |
| 6:13
| Ed hasn't done any computer work for the Obama campaign. The guy who runs his website is one of the founders of Facebook so he probably knows his way around a website. |
| 6:14
| Alright now back to Buzz in the newsroom. Russia is ready to withdraw from forces but can't find anyone in the Georgian government to turn things over to. Can't they just leave? Those Russians seem like completely drunk murders. They're just causing mayhem everywhere. |
| 6:15
| Steve would also like to point out that there's a nice photo on Dahl.com of Brendan and Pete, in Brendan's mom's Seabring, pulling out of Arlington. It has a Michael Scott/Dwight Schrute feel to it or maybe even a Michael Scott/Andy Bernard feel to it. It's definitely not a Michael Scott/Jim feel. |
| 6:16
| It's a very nice photo of Pete and Brendan who probably went off to Shaw's for lunch and got a 9 foot tapeworm. Does Buzz know about that story? Steve wouldn't mind a tapeworm, he could eat all he wants and not gain any weight. |
| 6:17
| TV bounty hunter Leonard Padilla is trying to post bail for Casey Anthony, the mother of a missing 2-year-old Florida girl. He's run into a lot of red tape trying to do it though. This is the woman who didn't report her daughter missing for a month though. |
| 6:18
| Apple is scrambling to fix service problems on it's new 3G iPhones. Users are complaining about too many dropped calls. 3G is a data network though. The people who complain about Apple are the geeks who spend their time on internet messageboards. |
| 6:19
| Steve hasn't had any problems with his iPhone other than that initial issue where the person at the AT&T store wrote down the wrong SIM card number. Apple does jerk you around a bit, making you buy new power cords for devices and stuff like that but that's just good business. |
| 6:20
| Last night, as promised, the statue of The Fonz was unveiled in downtown Milwaukee. Did Buzz make it up there? He didn't have to because ABC had full team coverage and asked an important question, was Potsie there? Buzz now has an answer to that. |
| 6:21
| ABC didn't really have team coverage, everyone was just talking about it. Potsie was in present but apparently he didn't make it on TV. He tends to shy away from the cameras. |
| 6:22
| Penny Marshall was also there and we all know what she looks like, a monster. Last night she was a monster chomping away at gum though. Steve gets the feeling she's a very heavy smoker, hence the gum. What about Cindy Williams? Buzz didn't see her either but he thought she was there. Maybe she was getting it on with Potsie? You never know with those TV people. |
| 6:30
| Caller Deb sounds like Roseanne Barr if she doesn't mind Steve saying so. Deb is very excited to talk to Steve, she's been listening as long as he's been on the air. Since 5:30? |
| 6:31
| Deb is glad Steve is back on in the mornings too, now she can listen on her way to work. Deb works in Lake Forest but lives in Kenosha so it's a long commute, usually 45 minutes to an hour. |
| 6:32
| Deb wanted to let Steve know about Cindy Williams. She gets the Milwaukee stations and they were making a big deal about the Fonzie statue. Of course, you have to. |
| 6:33
| Cindy Williams was at the Miller Brewery doing her Laverne & Shirley thing. She still looks good, just older. Is she still doable? If Deb were Steve, would Cindy Williams still be doable? |
| 6:34
| Meanwhile Penny Marshall has morphed into a different species. She sort of has a Jabba the Hutt/Hellboy feel to her. |
| 6:35
| The whole Fonzie thing was a very big deal but they'll probably dump that statue into the lake in a couple of months. That's how they roll up there in Milwaukee, a new sidewalk is a big deal. |
| 6:36
| Alright time for the web poll. Yesterday's web poll question was "Do you take Lake Shore Drive?" 57% of the people said yes. Buzz is surprised that number isn't higher but it's probably just because he takes it a lot. It's a fun road to take though. |
| 6:37
| Buzz had some more thoughts on the Lake Shore Drive construction. Over the winter there were a ton of pot holes on that stretch of the road. Then those were filled in so now there's a bunch of bumps. It'll be resurfaced now so it'll be great for a year or two. Buzz can finally go back to the drag racing on Lake Shore Drive. |
| 6:38
| Mark Czerniec posted a link to Cindy Williams and she still looks great. Of course that link is only on Mark's private, internal blog for the show but Buzz thinks it should be up on Dahl.com. He's like Sissy Spacek over there starting fires, moving photos from one website to Dahl.com. |
| 6:39
| Ed has access to Mark's blog so he can post the Cindy Williams photo in the new "As Heard on the Show" section of Dahl.com. Steve gets what Buzz was trying to do though. |
| 6:40
| Today's web poll question is "Who is more fake?" and the options are China and the U.S. This is from Richard Roeper's column yesterday about some of China's nefarious deceptions during the Olympics so far. |
| 6:41
| Among the offenses are the enhanced fireworks on TV during the opening ceremonies. Wasn't that NBC who did that? There's also the children representing 56 ethnic groups that were actually mostly from the Han ethnic group. |
| 6:42
| Just for the record Steve doesn't care about any of this, he just wants things to look good. That's all China wants too. China also allegedly let underage girls on their gymnastics team. |
| 6:43
| Steve fell in love with Shawn Johnson last night. Not only is he going to register as a sex offender here but also in Des Moines where she's from. Steve has her 18th birthday marked on a calendar, that's when he'll be leaving his family and moving to Des Moines to marry Johnson. |
| 6:44
| There was also the story of the 9-year-old girl lip-syncing for a 7-year-old girl because the 9-year-old was thought to be cuter. Buzz does care about that because the 7-year-old won a contest to sing at the opening ceremonies. |
| 6:45
| In West Side Story Natalie Wood, born Natalia Nikolaevna Zakharenko, played a Puerto Rican girl named Maria. Mickey Rooney played a Japanese neighbor in Breakfast at Tiffany's. |
| 6:46
| Natalie Wood didn't sing in West Side Story, nor did Deborah Kerr sing in An Affair to Remember. Marni Nixon dubbed the vocals for both of those movies. Why wasn't Nixon on screen though? Richard has gone way off the Olympics stuff here. It's Hollywood! |
| 6:47
| Richard is still catching heat for a column from three years ago about the Dove billboards with the regular-sized, regular women in their underwear. That's Dove the soap not Dove the ice cream bar. Steve ate a bar of Dove soap, it was a tough eat. The soap is shaped like the ice cream though and Steve hasn't sworn much since then. |
| 6:48
| Richard had a lot of angry comments hurled his way which he understands. But why weren't those women also angry at Dove for cynically using real women with real curves to pitch a product that would firm those curves? |
| 6:49
| Steve was going to play The Pretender to tie in with this but it's kind of long. What was the other song Steve was thinking of? Maybe he should just play The Pretender? |
| 6:50
| Does Steve have time to play it? He doesn't want to play something too long because he really wants to hit that 7 am news, that's key now. |
| 6:51
| How about What You Need by INXS? Does that tie in? What you need is to look good, right Buzz? Buzz has no idea. If he doesn't think the song ties in he can stop it himself. |
| 6:52
| Steve likes listening to INXS because he knows that Michael Hutchence was into auto-erotic asphyxiation. That's how he died actually. Did Bob Geldoff steal his wife or something? |
| 6:53
| Song: What You Need, INXS |
| 7:03
| Steve can see Richard Roeper's point about those Dove ads. They're saying they want real women but their product is supposed to make you look better. Also Michael Hutchence stole Bob Geldoff's wife. That was Paula Yates who later died of a drug overdose. |
| 7:04
| News with Buzz |
| 7:05
| Barack Obama is expected to announce his running mate as soon as today. Among the names on the shortlist are Virginia governor Tim Kane and Indiana senator Evan Bayh. A lot of people think it's Tim Kane because Obama is scheduled to be in Virginia today. |
| 7:06
| Obama is expected to appear with his new running mate at a rally in Springfield on Saturday. Springfield is of course the birthplace of the corn dog so hopefully Obama incorporates that into the rally. |
| 7:07
| Russia is set to withdraw troops from Georgia. Those Russians all seem like drunken marauders, they're just running stuff over with their tanks. |
| 7:08
| Condoleezza Rice signed off on a deal to set up part of a U.S. missile defense shield in Poland. Condi sounds very relaxed, almost like someone slipped her a Polish sausage. |
| 7:09
| Argentina's women's soccer team lost to China yesterday, on the same day that a photo surfaced of 4 women on that team pulling back the skin around their eyes to make a slit-eyed gesture. Steve has the feeling that some countries don't feel there's a problem with that. |
| 7:10
| There could be an Islamic Coke product coming out for Ramadan. The traditional white lettering on a red can will soon feature the Islamic crescent and star symbols. It's also led Christians to ask if there will be crosses on Coke cans at Christmas. Who sits around criticizing Coke cans? Don't they fast during Ramadan anyway? |
| 7:11
| Speaking of Coke, Steve wants to run this by Buzz. The women's gymnastic team wears uniforms that look just like Coke cans, they're red with the white squiggles. That must have been some sort of subliminal marketing deal with Coke. Every time Steve sees those uniforms he thinks about Coke. |
| 7:12
| A newly released report on violence in schools revealed that over 200,000 students were subject to corporal punishment last year. Sometimes it was for something as minor as chewing gum. |
| 7:13
| During Ramadan they fast during the day and feast at night. So after a day of fasting you'd want a nice Coke and some falafel. There's nothing wrong with that. |
| 7:20
| Oops! Buzz doesn't even care why Steve said oops, not until after he's done reading what he has to read. |
| 7:21
| We've got some more Cheech & Chong tickets to give away. Yesterday Steve thought he'd do some Cheech & Chong. Steve's Cheech is right on and his Chong is passable. He thought he'd do a "Dave's not here" routine with Buzz but Buzz is Buzz, not Dave. |
| 7:22
| It's time for another special report from Beijing Gay. How is Ben's connection from Beijing? It almost sounds like he's right in the studio. |
| 7:23
| There was a water polo match yesterday, those guys wear funny hats. They look like Amelia Earhart and she's about to drown after her plane crashes. It looks like a very hard sport to play, they're always in the deep end. |
| 7:24
| There's usually some sort of double entendre in Ben's Olympic reports or some Chinese word that sounds like something else. |
| 7:25
| Those water polo guys look pretty dorky in the pool with the hats on. Outside the pool they don't act like dorks though. If you play water polo at somewhere like UC Santa Barbara you're probably pretty cool. |
| 7:26
| Today's Gay Olympic Moment is about the men's trampoline event won by Liu Chun Long. That same event has been going on in Ben's hotel room throughout his stay in Beijing. |
| 7:27
| The Chinese men swept the trampoline events at this year's Olympics. The Chinese are known for their trampoline skills. It's like that guy in Ocean's 11 who hides in that box and then jumps around that room with all the money, avoiding all those lasers. |
| 7:28
| What are they going to do about Ocean's 14 without Bernie Mac. Buzz hopes they don't make another one without him, how can you replace that? |
| 7:29
| Steve has to interrupt Buzz and Ben because we have Chef Hans on the phone for some reason. Is this about that stupid Swiss Taxi? Hans doesn't think it's stupid, it's smart. |
| 7:30
| Is it really a taxi if it can only hold on person? It actually holds two people, the driver has already given rides to Leno and Michael Bloomberg and he wants to give a ride to Steve. That would require Steve to go down to the street level though. |
| 7:31
| The taxi is solar-powered and the guy is driving it around the world. But it's taking a boat across the ocean, Steve doesn't really count that as going around the world. But he gets why Hans is excited, the Swiss don't do all that much. |
| 7:32
| Hans just called in to see if he should bring the guy up. And what did Mary say? Her career depends on what she said by the way. She just told Hans to talk to Steve. |
| 7:33
| What does Buzz think? This is sort of part of the news. Buzz already met the guy yesterday, he went to Smith & Wollensky for his birthday. It was Buzz's birthday yesterday? Steve's sorry he missed that but Buzz probably doesn't care. Does Buzz want a $500 birthday cake because Steve knows where to get one. |
| 7:34
| Hans can bring the guy up here if he wants but Steve's not going for a ride. The guy sounds just like Hans. He was riveting on the news last night. Does Pete happen to have any audio of that? He's looking for it now. |
| 7:35
| Can Ben go back to his segment? Ben's in China, it's almost 9 pm and he still hasn't had dinner. They'll eat anything in China, they just put some sort of red glaze on it and eat it. |
| 7:36
| So Liu Chun Long won gold in the trampoline and also China's Dong Dong, Ben's favorite athlete, won the bronze. You wouldn't think trampoline would be an Olympic sport, more like something you do in someone's backyard. What's next, that inflatable moonwalk? Buzz wouldn't know those, he doesn't have the acreage for it. |
| 7:37
| And now, Ben has some audio from NBC's coverage of the Olympics. The announcer is a dear, dear friend of Ben's. Buzz did notice he had a protegè feel to him. Ben took him under his wing and let him out for this. |
| 7:38
| And that is another Gay Olympics Moment with Beijing Gay. |
| 7:39
| Song: Long, Long Way From Home, Foreigner |
| 7:49
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:50
| Both the Cubs and the Sox won last night, shutting out the Reds and Mariners respectively. Gavin Floyd faces R.A. Dickey this afternoon at The Cell, Steve will be there. |
| 7:51
| The Cubs play tonight with Ted Lilly facing Bronson Arroyo. Didn't Steve just see Lilly mixing it up with someone recently? Pete can't remember anything like that. |
| 7:52
| Brendan says it happened in Atlanta, Lilly beaned a Brave in retaliation for them hitting Soriano. Steve thought that was pretty cool. |
| 7:53
| Bears defensive end Mark Anderson had minor thumb surgery, he'll miss tomorrow's preseason game against the 49ers. Jeff Joniak will also be calling in tomorrow to preview the game. |
| 7:54
| Steve hopes to God that the fantasy draft is over soon. Steve's entire day yesterday was consumed with that draft. Pat Dahl, who writes for Rotoworld, refuses to give Steve any tips either because he's in the league. He's also living in Steve's basement! |
| 7:55
| Mike Dahl picks after Steve so he's always pressing Steve to choose quickly. Then Mike takes the full hour and a half to make his pick! We're not even playing for what Steve considers is a significant sum, it's like $10 per person. |
| 7:56
| How about $1,000? That way you have a 1 in 10 chance of winning $10,000. That's a pretty good prize. He might have to extend some juice loans to employees though. Steve has a story that caught his eye but he might have to finish it after the news. He's also got the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell and he needs a Taco Pal. |
| 7:57
| Two couples met at a Cottage Grove , Wisconsin bar and engaged in mutually consensual sex at he home of one of the couples. There are differing versions of how a fight broke out, leaving one man in the hospital and another in jail. |
| 7:58
| Daniel Ding was charged with second-degree recklessly endangering safety with the use of a weapon and substantial battery with use of a weapon. Both felonies carry a combined penalty of 23 and a half years. |
| 7:59
| Dinga and his girlfriend met Cesar Salinas and his girlfriend at the Outpost Bar on Friday. The group went back to Dinga's house. After drinking alcohol the four ended up in a bedroom with all four engaging in consensual sex. Why aren't the girl's names mentioned? |
| 8:00
| During the group sex something caused a falling out between the two men. You'd like to know exactly what happened but you can sort of figure it out. Obviously someone was doing something, they broke the swinger's code. |
| 8:01
| At one point the two men started arguing and then pushing each other while naked. Steve will have to continue this story after the news and the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. |
| 8:02
| Alright it's time for Taco Pal Wednesday. Wait, what day is it? Isn't Wednesday the day for Stories Outside the Bun? Mary has to keep these days straight! |
| 8:03
| Steve's just going to go crazy and talk to his Taco Pal Jamie anyway. Steve and Buzz have recorded several Taco Bell segments already this week for the hiatus next week. |
| 8:04
| Jamie will be having the Nachos Bell Grande and a hard shell taco for lunch. She needs the sour cream on her taco. She'll also be having a Pepsi with extra ice. People really care about their ice, we heard that yesterday from Janet. |
| 8:05
| News with Buzz |
| 8:06
| Poland and the U.S. have signed a deal to install part of a missile defense shield in Poland. The Russians aren't happy with the agreement and earlier in the week they issued a veiled nuclear threat against Poland. |
| 8:07
| Barack Obama is expected to announce his running mate today via text message to his supporters. Among the possibilities are Tim Kane, Virginia's governor. Obama will be in Virginia today. The texting seems sort of lame to Steve for some reason. It sort of cheapens the whole thing, it seems like he should announce it at a press conference. |
| 8:08
| There's a new Reuters poll out that shows John McCain with a 5 point lead over Barack Obama. |
| 8:09
| Protestors have been rallying outside of China's consulate in L.A. demanding that China put a stop to their persecution of practitioners of Falun Gong. Protestors allege that Falun Gong believers have been tortured, brainwashed and murdered. |
| 8:10
| Steve doesn't really know what Falun Gong is but he's looking at something about it online and it doesn't seem that bad. It does seem a bit like Scientology though, is that why they don't like it? Because Steve thinks we should come down on Scientology here. Where would we get our actors from though? |
| 8:11
| The mother of a missing Florida girl remains in jail despite the efforts of TV bounty hunter Leonard Padilla. Of course Casey Anthony didn't report her daughter missing for a month and went out partying. |
| 8:12
| The California legislature says that electric cars are bad for the blind. They've passed a bill requiring electric cars to be louder so that the blind will know they're coming down the street. |
| 8:13
| Matt Dahl has a hybrid and Steve was driving with him behind some people walking on the street. He was 5 feet behind them and they didn't know he was there. |
| 8:14
| It's nice to make allowances for people but how many allowances can you make? Generally speaking blind people are very plucky and manage to do more things than Steve does and he's not blind. |
| 8:15
| The Civic Federation says that Chicago aldermen should give up their pay raise. They believe this is not the best time for a pay increase, it's bad form. |
| 8:16
| According to a new study Naperville ranks third in a list of America's top wealth centers. Arlington, Virginia topped that list then Thousand Oaks, California. |
| 8:17
| 6 American Eagle planes were grounded at O'Hare yesterday delaying 40 regional flights. |
| 8:18
| Today is the day they start fixing the potholes on Lake Shore Drive between Irving Park and Foster. It's being called a temporary fix until more money can be raised. Temporary?! Wasn't the patching a temporary fix? |
| 8:19
| Bob and Ron are here but Steve wants to finish that swingers story before he gets to them. Things went horribly wrong during the foursome. Cesar Salinas' girlfriend said it was Dinga who started the fight, as a good girlfriend should say. |
| 8:20
| Dinga gave varying accounts of how the fight started. At first he denied a weapon had been used then later said Salinas had a knife. |
| 8:21
| The sexual foursome ended after Dinga and Salinas had a pushing match in the bedroom. So obviously someone broke the swingers code. When you're in a foursome it seems like all things are off. |
| 8:22
| Dinga said that afterwards he went to the garage to have a cigarette and was talking to Salinas' girlfriend when Salinas rushed him with a knife. Dinga said he wrestled the knife away from Salinas and hit him in the neck with it. |
| 8:23
| The complaint says that Salinas left the bedroom and was followed to the garage by Dinga's girlfriend. She made no mention of him going to the kitchen to get the steak knife believed to be the weapon. |
| 8:24
| Sheriff's detective Brian Lukens, who must have been really glad to get this case, said he detected the odor of intoxicants from the defendant. It sounds like these people don't know how to swing. Steve would have gone separate bedrooms, that way you don't know what's going on. Buzz doesn't thinking that's true swinging. |
| 8:29
| Live read: NBC |
| 8:31
| Alright it's time now for Bob and Ron's Record Club. It's another glorious Wake & Bake Wednesday and there's more good news for vinyl as it's popularity continues to grow. |
| 8:32
| Where was that article, Vinyl Monthly? It was actually in Bob and Ron's clubhouse newsletter. Steve has to thank Bob for watching Matt's dog over the weekend. Matt brought his current gal pal, who's delightful, up to New Buffalo and he didn't bring that stupid dog. And everyone had a great time. |
| 8:33
| How much would Bob charge to keep Matt's dog? That's probably not fair since Matt does like the dog. So how much does Bob charge for a weekend? it's just $5 extra per day. |
| 8:34
| So was Bob hanging out at Matt's house? Steve doesn't care either way, he just wanted to know. Bob came to Matt's and took the dog out for walks but he wasn't staying there. |
| 8:35
| Matt's dog snaps at people when it wants to play. Steve takes that as a bad sign and he's not even a dog. Bob has noticed that the other dogs don't seem to care about the snapping. Maybe Matt's dog is some sort of dog linguist or something? Maybe the snapping is the dog version of aloha, it means you to play or you want to fight. |
| 8:36
| What else are going on with Bob and Ron? It sounds like nothing. They've actually be thinking about stealing this donut machine that's been in Pete's studio for months. |
| 8:37
| Steve's not sure why that thing is in Pete's studio. His studio is sort of like that store in 40 Year Old Virgin where the women sells your stuff on Ebay. |
| 8:38
| There was a time when Steve thought he would be making donuts every morning. The women at McCracken Financial sent Steve the machine which made David Hochberg mad since he had called a week before and offered to buy one. Adam told him no because Steve wanted a professional machine. |
| 8:39
| The problem with the donut maker is you have to make the batter and no one really wanted to do that. It can't be that hard to make the batter right? Maybe we can fire that thing up next week. Steve had a funnel cake over the weekend in Michigan and he got powdered sugar on his shorts. He tried to use an ice cube to clean that up but then it just turned into frosting. That didn't look right on Steve's shorts. |
| 8:40
| Steve calls up to the office. Stephanie doesn't think the batter is that hard to make. She'll get it fired up when we're back from hiatus. |
| 8:41
| By the way, new hours for the show start next week, the Best Of will be on from 5 am to 9 am. That means Bob and Ron have to get in even earlier. They don't seem to mind though, they don't even really know what time it is. |
| 8:42
| Caller Kathy had a donut batter suggestion for Steve. instead of making the batter you can put those round Pop-and-Fresh dough, punch a whole in it and you've got donuts and donut holes. |
| 8:43
| Then you take some powdered sugar or some frosting and put it on top. So it'll be more like a funnel cake. |
| 8:44
| It sounds like we can put this together for Bob and Ron when we get back from hiatus. It sounds easy enough. |
| 8:45
| Caller Dennis is a private chef and he can come in and make donuts with the donut maker. It's a little conveyor belt that puts the dough into the oil, then scoops it out and puts it onto a cooling rack. |
| 8:46
| Is Dennis talkative or will he just go about his business? If he's a private chef he probably knows how to blend in. Sometimes we get people coming in and they blab a lot or they want to stare into the window at Steve. It makes him feel like he's at the Shedd Aquarium. |
| 8:47
| Speaking of the Shedd, Steve saw Anna Devlantes on the news yesterday diving in Lake Michigan. How does Steve dive with her? Because usually diving is a sausage fest. |
| 8:48
| Anna was looking at zebra mussels, that might be something for Dennis to think about. How do those things taste? |
| 8:56
| Brant Miller had a pretty good ad-lib after the Anna Devlantes story, he said he suddenly had a taste for mussels marinara. For some reason Alison Rosati freaked out though. What's wrong with what he said? |
| 8:57
| Earlier today we played What You Need by INXS which Pete also used on that rejoin. In the future Steve would try to avoid doing that. That's just one tip Steve would share if he ever taught a class at Columbia. |
| 8:58
| Pete has a lot going on in there and he's also dealing with Bob and Ron, they're a handful. Bob and Ron have nothing to do and nothing to lose. Sometimes Steve likes to kick back and pretend he has nothing to lose. |
| 8:59
| Alright time for some rock history. It's Ginger Baker's birthday, he was the drummer for Blind Faith and Cream. His real name was Peter but he had red hair so they called him Ginger. That what they call redheads in England, Gingers. So it would be ginger crotch then? |
| 9:00
| It's also Robert Plant's birthday this week. Plantie? Steve once met Robert Plant and he referred to himself as Plantie for the entire time. "Plantie needs some water" |
| 9:01
| Finally it's John Deacon's birthday this week, he was bass player for Queen. |
| 9:02
| Song: Keep Yourself Alive, Queen |
| 9:05
| Next time Steve talks to Bob and Ron they'll be eating donuts. They'll have their mouth's full with presumably powdered sugar under their noses. |
| 9:06
| News with Buzz |
| 9:07
| Steve doesn't want to point this out in case Buzz doesn't have any audio but there's no CD in here. Buzz doesn't have any audio. Sometimes it's better to not hear from someone. |
| 9:08
| A new Reuters/Zogby polls shows John McCain with a 7 point lead over Barack Obama. Among the hot button issues, voters believes John McCain can handle the economy better. And how do they know that? |
| 9:09
| The Veepstakes are underway, that's what they're calling Barack Obama's imminent announcement of his running mate. |
| 9:10
| The Guinness Book of World's Record has returned the title of world's tallest man to a Chinese man. That's because Leonid Stadnig refused to be measured by Guinness officials. He's probably sick of being judged. |
| 9:11
| A man who claims to have passed a 9 foot tapeworm after eating undercooked seafood is suing Shaw's Crabhouse claiming that's where he ate the salmon. The guy said it was uncooked. If he saw it was uncooked why did he eat it? Steve would kill to have a 9 foot tapeworm, he could lose so much weight. |
| 9:12
| There is a happy alternative to that. Researchers testing epilepsy drugs on rats have found that it also help rats, even those bred to be obese, lose weight. The Dahl's were also bred to be fat. |
| 9:13
| A man suspected of lighting his landlord on fire his still on the loose. Steve saw people talking about that landlord yesterday, they said he was a great guy who would do anything for anyone. This tenant who allegedly lit him on fire was dealing drugs out of his apartment! |
| 9:21
| It's time for Meat Talk with Chef Hans. They rarely talk about meat any more but that's because Hans is bringing in solar taxi drivers. Hans thinks we'll be cooking with solar power one day. |
| 9:22
| Louis Palmer is from Switzerland, he's driving around the world in a solar-powered taxi. it doesn't really look like a taxi but he's giving people rides along the way. He hasn't given Hans a ride yet. |
| 9:23
| Louis started in Lucerne and drove East through Berlin and Eastern Europe, took a boat to India, then drove a little way and went to New Zealand and Australia, then took a boat to Singapore, drove through Asia and then took a boat to Vancouver. |
| 9:24
| After he leaves the U.S. he's heading to Africa and then back through Europe. In December he'll be in Poland for a UN world climate conference. The UN asked him to be the official taxi driver for the delegates. |
| 9:25
| Louis is a professor as well as a frequent traveler. He's been to over 60 countries and he's been noticing global warming everywhere. So he went to a few different universities and pitched his idea. They put together a team of students to build his car but they couldn't guarantee that it wouldn't fall apart at the border of Austria. |
| 9:26
| That's the Swiss, they're know for their chocolate and their clocks and their neutral stance in every world war. They also make a great pocket knife which is standard issue if you're in the Swiss army. |
| 9:27
| Hans wanted to remind Steve that without the Swiss man who invented P we wouldn't have a world. What is Hans talking about? We get a guy in here that Steve and Buzz don't even know and they understand him and he's making sense. Steve is actually buying into this solar taxi and then Hans comes in with this thing about some guy inventing P. |
| 9:28
| Hans was actually talking about Pie, not the letter P. We don't call it P in this country. It always gave Steve a lot of trouble when he was in school though. |
| 9:29
| So Louis can drive Steve home or he can take Buzz home. Steve doesn't think the car will be able to handle him but Louis says he's taken guys bigger than Steve. |
| 9:30
| Louis is not married. Has he run into any interesting situations on the road with the ladies? |
| 9:31
| Now yesterday Buzz was at Smith & Wollensky for his birthday. Was Steve remiss in not celebrating? We don't really celebrate birthdays around here. Does Buzz want a $500 birthday cake? |
| 9:32
| All Steve heard yesterday was telling Brendan he needed to get in touch with Chef Hans. Brendan reported back to Buzz that Hans had him all taken care of. Then Buzz started yelling at Brendan wondering how Hans knew what he wanted. |
| 9:33
| Hans knows though, Buzz wants to be seated with a view of the river because he was bringing Piper along for dinner. Buzz was about to be seated in a table upstairs and you could see the river but it was the best view. |
| 9:34
| Then seemingly out of the bowels of the restaurant comes Chef Hans. It almost appeared as if he was flying. He took Buzz downstairs and found them the perfect table with a river view. |
| 9:35
| Buzz went with the encrusted filet along with the whipped potatoes. Normally he goes twice-baked but after last week's discussion, where the word "gummy" was used he couldn't go twiced-baked. |
| 9:36
| They also had a Caesar salad and a great house wine. Steve head that they had so much wine that Piper had to drive them home. Buzz put his glass down and Piper said "Don't put that down in front of me!" |
| 9:37
| That's because when Piper was around 6 months old they were on vacation and at dinner. Buzz put his glass down, turned his head for 10 seconds and when he looked back the glass was empty and Piper was waving it around. |
| 9:38
| Piper tried and enjoyed the crab, that's a new taste experience for her. She had the cheeseburger as her main meal which delighted Buzz because he got to have some. |
| 9:39
| Aimee had the salmon, she always has that if it's available. Isn't salmon what they serve in prison? Steve's been trying to eat more fish but he does not like salmon. |
| 9:40
| Steve was at a client meeting yesterday at a restaurant that shall remain nameless and he got the halibut. On Monday he was at the same restaurant and he ordered the halibut but it wasn't halibut. Steve's pretty sure it was tilapia. Louis so wants to get out of here but he doesn't know where the door is. The door is also solar-powered and we need just a little more sun to make it work. |
| 9:41
| Steve has had salmon at Joe's Stone Crab and it was really good but as a rule he usually doesn't eat it. |
| 9:42
| Tomorrow Louis will be in Ann Arbor and Detroit. Hopefully he'll meet with the car people in Detroit but they're not going to like him. If there was a trunk in Louis' taxi he'd be stuffed in it. |
| 9:49
| That's a little GNR for Brendan in the rejoin. What are you supposed to do to Axl's serpentine? Do you touch it? |
| 9:50
| Bob and Ron were in earlier and Steve mentioned that Bob did him a solid by watching Matt Dahl's dog over the weekend. Steve just got a text from Janet informing him that Bob prefers to be paid and cash and Matt never carries cash so Bob hasn't been paid yet. |
| 9:51
| So if Bob's listening and he wants to come back and get paid that's fine. How hard is it to get cash Matt? C'mon! Or at least they could have some weed laying around. |
| 9:52
| During the break Steve took a photo with Chef Hans and Louis Palmer. Louis wanted a photo of him in action on the air but that's not the photo Steve takes. Steve takes the standard photo of him and the guests standing up. Louis wanted it to look more like he was in a radio station. |
| 9:53
| Then Steve went to put his arm around Louis as he usually does and Louis balked at it. Louis might be a homophobe and Steve is a known homosexual. It's good that Louis balked though because he has BO. That's how the Europeans are. Get a solar shower or something, they're right in the Front Gate catalog. |
| 9:54
| Hans wanted Buzz to mention that it was Danny the waiter's birthday yesterday. You put Buzz in a good table and he'll do anything for you. |
| 9:55
| Steve got another text from Janet telling him that Matt did pay Bob. Steve went through a lot just now for what turned out to be a false alarm. Steve said he was willin got pay Bob just so he didn't have to deal with the dog. |
| 9:56
| Brendan is here for his Hollywood report. Another listener, Joe Cletts, suggested we call the segment Brendan's Daily Grind. We'll be stealing that one Joe, thanks. |
| 9:57
| Yesterday we heard that Lindsay Lohan was sending Michael Phelps text messages that she wanted to meet him. Now we're hearing she's considering converting to Judaism to get closer to girlfriend Samantha Ronson. Sounds like someone was caught texting. |
| 9:58
| K-Fed has been living it up in Vegas, he was spotted in a private cabana at Dao Beach Club. Steve has no idea what Brendan is talking about. Dao Beach is in Vegas, obviously, at the Venetian. That's one of those clubs where it's topless. |
| 9:59
| According to a spy the guys were in good spirits wolfing down Kobe beef burgers, chicken satays and drinking Patron and Jack Daniels. |
| 10:00
| Finally, Pete Wentz is talking tennis lessons. Aren't his 15 minutes up yet? Not with he and Ashlee expecting a child. Steve's taking golf lessons, is that mentioned anywhere on Perez Hilton? |
