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| 5:01
| 5:00 News with Buzz |
| 5:02
| It was like Broadcast News with Buzz running into the studio. Stephanie pulled out a filing cabinet drawer and he wasn't able to slide under it but he did hit and get right back up. |
| 5:03
| Sarah Palin spoke at the Republican National Convention and it was love at first sight with the delegates, she received a standing ovation after accepting the V.P. nomination. |
| 5:04
| Palin talked about the fact that Obama has written two memoirs but not any laws just yet. |
| 5:05
| Steve enjoyed watching that, he bets Barack liked it too. It was pretty hot how on his case she is. Security had to haul some hippie girl out of the convention last night because she was protesting during Palin's speech. |
| 5:06
| While Steve was in London, he learned a lot of things. One was they served spotted dick but he didn't try it. Also, he was told that the crosses on buildings there aren't religious crosses but they are for archers who used to climb up and down them. Also, if they captured an archer they would cut off their 2 fingers so to taunt the ones without fingers they would give them the peace sign . It then became just the one middle finger at some point. |
| 5:08
| They have a lot of those rich oil people in London because when things were privatized in Russia, they call came there to live. Steve saw townhomes in London that were around $2 million. Buzz recently read a story about all of the Russian kids who are now inheriting millions. |
| 5:11
| The dollar is really not good anywhere anymore. Steve felt like someone coming here and only having pesos when he paid for things in London, he was all confused about how to tip too. Luckily, most of the places just added the tip in. |
| 5:13
| Caller Greg has spotted dick in his Dominick's in Batavia. |
| 5:14
| Two Russian sumo wrestlers have tested positive for marijuana, you'd have to smoke pot to stay that fat though. They denied smoking it but one of them has been banned from wrestling already. Steve has thought about going sumo but he can't pull off the diaper look. |
| 5:16
| Rev. Meeks is suspending the boycott of Chicago Public Schools because he is calling Governor Blagojevich's bluff on agreeing to speak with them on funding. The governor has not yet responded, Steve was impressed with Meeks yesterday; if it was a game of Battleship, Meeks would've won. |
| 5:18
| It seems Oprah may be headed to 30 Rock for a guest appearance playing herself. Tina Fey really could play Sarah Palin. |
| 5:19
| Naperville is cracking down on drunk drivers, beware when driving through there as they have had 39 arrests in the last two weeks. |
| 5:25
| Nobody uses kids as political pawns like Rod Blagojevich, he wears clothing made of children. |
| 5:26
| Steve went to dinner last night with Mike and Pat Dahl, while they were there Steve told them the time and he was an hour ahead for some reason. |
| 5:27
| He went to bed somewhere around 8 or 8:30 because he really wanted to watch Palin because it really irritates Janet and Pat, they are liberals and Steve isn't sure what he is but he likes to annoy them. |
| 5:28
| At some point he decided he better get to sleep so he played his guitar to calm himself down, then went to set his alarm clock and thought it said the wrong time and was ahead so he changed it although he isn't sure why. He ended up putting it on Eastern Standard Time and woke up thinking it was 3:30, took a shower, got dressed and used his new nose, hair and ear clippers. |
| 5:32
| He went downstairs and saw the coffee hadn't turned on but thought that had to do with daylight savings time too. The next thing he knew it was really just 3 a.m. and he was sitting at a picnic table in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot enjoying an apple fritter. Steve isn't sure how he can't depend on a clock that sets itself because it goes through a satellite, somehow he got it in his head that it was wrong though, as it turns out, he was wrong. |
| 5:34
| Steve got here at about 4:00 and slept in the green room until it was time to come into the studio. He had even changed the clock in his car, but he did enjoy sitting at Dunkin Donuts and being woken up in the green room by Stephanie. |
| 5:35
| He was able to really go back to sleep because he must have only gotten 3 hours after all of that. Maybe he was abducted by aliens and anally probed, he couldn't have been more confused in setting his alarm clock, that is controlled by the satellite, an hour ahead. |
| 5:37
| Steve couldn't even be flirtatious with the Dunkin Donuts lady because Janet said whatever was going on between them had to stop. He feels his donut lady was disappointed in their exchange this morning. |
| 5:39
| Steve is blaming Rudy Giuliani for all of this because he delayed the time that Sarah Palin spoke. It was just one of those things where everything that could go wrong went wrong and he woke up at 2:30 am As it turns out, he probably got 4 hours of sleep so he should be okay, the apple fritter probably wasn't the best idea but he's had 2 Red Bulls and a cup of coffee as well. |
| 5:41
| Steve would still like to know why people are up early listening and if they have ever done something like waking up an hour early. |
| 5:42
| That Michael Phelps really does not look good in regular clothing, he's a freak, that's why he wins. Everyone's wingspan is 6 feet and his is more, that's cool because he is our freak but he is still a freak. Kudos to Oprah because that show must have done more for Chicago to get the 2016 Olympics. |
| 5:43
| Buzz looked out the window at some point yesterday and saw a million balloons. You know those are all filled by Oprah, she's full of helium. |
| 5:44
| Caller Mike is on his way to the train station in Lockport, is there a happy ending car on that train? He isn't able to listen to us on the train but needs to work on that, maybe the conductor could turn it on for their train ride. Everyday he waits to buy something to be able to listen, our show gets shortened, soon we will only be on from 5 until 5:15. |
| 5:51
| Steve calls Adam about the copy Buzz is reading for the Contest Line. He shouldn't list the White Sox first if the Blue Jays are the visiting team. Adam doesn't seem to know his sports very well, Steve disagrees, Adam should come down there and arm wrestle him. |
| 5:54
| Steve has an idea for a t-shirt he would like to run by Adam. He wants a logo like an election one would be but this would say Dahl/Kilman and either 2008 or 104.3, he isn't too sure about that part. No Mary, no pictures of elephants! He sits with his back to her now and doesn't need her abuse, she already calls him tubby in his headphones and now has to look at his fat ass. |
| 5:57
| Steve probably should have the frequency on the shirts but he wants it like an election logo so maybe that could be where the year usually is, it would be like they ran for the election in 1043. |
| 5:59
| What would Steve do without Adam? He is like his little marketing genius. These shirts should be dropped onto people by a helicopter. |
| 6:00
| Very quickly, before the news music starts, we want to hear from Brendan about what it was like when the buses arrived at New Trier. Brendan thought it was going to be lame at first because there were only a hundred people but then the caravan came and there were probably about 800 people. |
| 6:01
| It turns out, Steve liked what Reverend Meeks did. After he called Blagojevich's bluff, he said he was going to send people out as truant officers and they would keep the kids in school. Brendan saw that Meeks got to hug a lot of hot New Trier moms too. |
| 6:02
| 6:00 News with Buzz. Republican VP pick brought the house down at the RNC last night with sly slamming of Barack Obama. |
| 6:03
| John McCain will formally accept the Presidential nomination tonight. His campaign has threatened legal action against the National Enquirer because of a story accusing Sarah Palin of having an affair with her husband's business partner. It's Alaska, what else is there to do up there besides swim, fish and have sex? |
| 6:05
| There is a possibility American troops could be out of Baghdad by next summer. |
| 6:06
| A Florida man has been arrested for allegedly stabbing a duck to death outside of a Benihana's. When officers arrived they found the duck floating in a nearby lake, the man said he did it because he "hates ducks". Steve finds ducks irritating too. |
| 6:08
| In sports, the Cubs were swept by the Astros. Zambrano is crazy, as suspected, he skipped his MRI yesterday. Sorry Jim! Jim is concerned with Zambrano and Hardin but this is what happens with Zambrano, he went a little crazy last year when he started flipping off fans. The White Sox beat the Indians 4-2. |
| 6:10
| Tommie Harris will be playing in the Bears season opener Sunday night in Indianapolis and Johnny Mathis will be singing the National Anthem. Buzz almost had sex to Johnny Mathis in high school. Steve thought he said "with" and he could see that happening, a young Buzz Kilman being drawn to Johnny Mathis as he sings Chances Are. |
| 6:13
| Did Buzz not have sex with the girl or did a different song come on the radio? The girl had a strong religious upbringing and wouldn't go all the way, she was great along the way though so that's all that mattered. |
| 6:14
| Caller Scott met Buzz before. He needs to just get to the topic Steve sees on the screen, he knows the callers' minds wander while on hold but let's stay on topic people. |
| 6:15
| Scott just wanted to tell his 15 year old story about when he used to play hockey late at night he would set his alarm to wake up for the game. He woke up at 9:30 p.m. one night and told himself his alarm was just wrong and went back to sleep and missed the game. |
| 6:18
| Scott can't keep bringing up Buzz's lean into the microphone because Steve is the one who will hear about that at 9:05 in his office. Why did Brendan put that call through? Is it because he wasn't sent out today? He thinks answering phones is beneath him now. |
| 6:19
| Caller Cullen is almost at work, he lives in Algonquin (the Gonq) and wakes up at 4 to drive into Niles every morning. He purchases parts for elevators, Steve finds it funny that almost every guy that works on elevators is named Otis. They are actually Cullen's company's biggest competitor. |
| 6:20
| Steve would like to complain about the people mover not being wide enough, maybe Cullen can mention this at the next convention. When they are narrow and there is only one, people will walk by and knock into Steve. That happened a lot at Heathrow Airport, they will have to fix that before London gets the Olympics. |
| 6:22
| Cullen was not happy with the kid in Sarah Palin's family onstage yesterday chomping on gum. Pete says that was Sarah's daughter's boyfriend, Steve can see why she let him come to the convention, he is a good looking kid. You can also see why that Bristol let him knock her up. |
| 6:28
| Live read: Apple iPhone |
| 6:31
| Steve could check his iPhone and tell us about today's weather. Actually, because he reset his phone yesterday, it is reset to Cupertino which is where Apple headquarters is so he needs to put it back on Chicago. Today's high is 65 and it will be raining, it is currently 64. We've dropped about 30 degrees in the last day or so, it was the hottest day on Tuesday and that was the day Steve's AC went out. He toughed it out like a pioneer woman though. |
| 6:34
| His air conditioner is a brand new system but it keeps freezing up, isn't there a lemon law for air conditioners. Now they want to replace the coil, but Steve is demanding a whole new unit. |
| 6:35
| Steve got home from London and the house was at 90 degrees, thanks to the boys for noticing and getting it fixed while watching the house for a week. Pat found a dead mouse on the porch but just put a bucket and a brick over it. Steve had to make some calls then and when he called the air conditioning guy, Mr. Happy Ass, he was so nice until Steve unloaded on him. |
| 6:37
| Steve calls the office, he doesn't like it when Brendan is here because Jordan isn't near the studio. Where is Stephanie? Stephanie is doing the show log. Steve thought we weren't spending any effort on the show log anymore, the log doesn't benefit us. People like Jordan's mom don't have to listen and they can just read that. |
| 6:39
| Now Jordan is going to be grounded, Steve can ground her if she wants! Jordan should bring her mom by sometime, maybe tomorrow? Jordan is afraid to bring her because she may embarrass herself. |
| 6:41
| Brendan needs to get the hell out of here. Why do we need him keeping Jordan away from us? Her mom is over at The Reel Club waiting to see Steve. |
| 6:42
| Steve likes the show log and Jim did a good job with it but we can't have something that substitutes the listening. |
| 6:43
| Brendan is in the studio now to talk about the Oprah taping, he thought it was cool to see all of the Olympians marching out live. Steve heard it should help us out in getting the Olympics in Chicago. |
| 6:44
| Brendan wasn't able to hook up with any of the women and he didn't hook up with any of the gay guys. Steve thinks it is probably awesome if Brendan did want to hook up with a gay guy, he would probably enjoy it. |
| 6:45
| The Oprah audience warm up lady made everyone practice "ooh-ing" and screaming yesterday. Brendan was standing next to a bunch of hot chicks who wanted to be on TV and they knew the key to that was to go berserk a bit. The girls weren't happy with Brendan not going crazy with them so he isn't sure if he made it on camera or not. |
| 6:47
| They put the good looking people in the front row. That reminds Steve of when he was an extra on King of Queens and was behind a brick wall. |
| 6:48
| The number one Olympian that made the girls crazy wasn't Phelps but Ryan Lisak. That Phelps is just ugly, he kinda looks like a cartoon drawing of a penis. |
| 6:54
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:56
| We were joined yesterday in our post show meeting by Todd, who was eating a delightful fruit cup, but Steve was not offered any. Mark Czerniec listened in by phone after questioning having the meeting everyday when it clearly said so in the memo. |
| 6:57
| After the meeting, Steve went into his private area and had another meeting with Todd, he heard about Todd's evening the night before. |
| 6:58
| Not only was Steve impressed with Oprah yesterday but he was also impressed by James Meeks calling off the boycott. |
| 7:02
| 7:00 News with Buzz |
| 7:03
| Sarah Palin was a hit at the Republican National Convention last night. Steve saw some weird signs there, one guy had a Hoosiers for the Hot Lady sign. |
| 7:05
| McCain would be the oldest first term President ever if he beats Obama in the November election. |
| 7:06
| McCain is calling for the media smearing of the Palin family to end. His campaign is suing the National Enquirer for a story of an alleged Sarah Palin affair. |
| 7:07
| Steve wants to know how you can marry a guy and have a baby with him and not know his name. Must be a smooth talker. |
| 7:08
| Marty Bolger is still on the loose. Wasn't there a movie that was based on him or a guy like him? He hasn't been seen since 1995. |
| 7:10
| Chicago public school students expected to be back in school today. The boycott has ended to call the governor's bluff. |
| 7:11
| Steve researched the move, it's actually The Departed. |
| 7:12
| Steve is impressed with this reverend in charge of the boycott, he pulled it altogether and made it work. |
| 7:13
| Beware of overweight women who might be stealing infants. Researchers have come up with a profile of these women, they're overweight and pretend to be nurses. |
| 7:14
| Caller Mike is in Westchester, it is rainy and wet there. Mike knows Steve thinks reading is for losers, but there's a book about this guy Whitey from Boston called Rat Bastard. |
| 7:15
| Steve will check it out. A lot of times he'll start a book, sees where it's going, and loses interest. What's the point? Mike will send Steve his copy if he wants. |
| 7:16
| Steve tries to call someone and ends up hanging up on Mike. He was looking for Jordan because he wants his briefcase but she didn't answer. He has the book about Drew Peterson. |
| 7:22
| Live Read: |
| 7:23
| Steve and Brendan are going out to LA on the same flight, then to Steve's hotel, then to Brendan's hotel (they have different hotels for security purposes) because the party is at Brendan's hotel. |
| 7:24
| Brendan will be interviewing the stars of the show while Steve works them. After the party, there is a Neil Diamond impersonator band playing, which Steve and Brendan don't want to stay around for. |
| 7:25
| Steve wants to get them reservations at Cut. Last time he was there, they were kicking the prostitutes out, which upset him. Brendan points out they're just trying to make a living. |
| 7:26
| If you want to join Steve and Brendan, check out iknowjack.com. |
| 7:27
| Buzz wants to know what the rejoin music is. It got him excited. It was "Naughty Naughty" by John Parr. Steve thought it sounded like a gay dance song. Buzz liked the honky-tonk feel. |
| 7:28
| "Naughty Naughty" by John Parr |
| 7:29
| Buzz will pursue that song on his own time. |
| 7:30
| Steve is reading a bit from Chapter 2 of Fatal Vows, the book about Drew Peterson. There is a picture of Drew's house with a Bolingbrook police car and Drew and Stacy, but they're split and she's pale and he's colored. |
| 7:31
| Steve know owns the scarf Drew is wearing in the picture on the back, Drew gave it to Steve autographed. Based on the cover, Joe Hosey is basically already claiming Drew did it. Buzz points out she's missing, that's it. |
| 7:32
| Steve decides to read it as Drew. Drew is excited about it, long as they spell his name right. But he doesn't like the picture on the front, he looks hammered. |
| 7:33
| Steve reads from Fatal Vows |
| 7:36
| Stacy dated a male nurse, according to his brother. A family of male nurses? Someone needed to take them out and throw a ball around with them more. |
| 7:38
| Buzz would like to know how we arrived at the conclusion that Stacy is dead. "Drew" started scanning the book for his name, but it's on every page. So he didn't get too far. |
| 7:39
| There is a picture of Stacy, apparently naked, underneath a blazer. Her sister is decked out in Drew's SWAT team gear and holding one of his weapons. Drew said no comment when asked if he took the picture. |
| 7:40
| Buzz says it's a fantastic picture. Stacy's hair is up in those pigtails. "Drew" told them to look mean. Isn't that hot? |
| 7:41
| "Drew" didn't put that picture in his album that he shows engaged couples though. He's professional wedding photographer. How did the author get this picture for his book? Buzz would like to thank Steve, Stacy, AND Joe Hosey for the picture. |
| 7:47
| Live Read: Fifth Third Bank |
| 7:50
| Steve commenced a live read without his microphone on, in a very Kilman-esque fashion. |
| 7:51
| Steve calls Adam to correct a live read. |
| 7:52
| Adam gets defensive like that Martin Short character on SNL, remember that? Adam was trying to make it easier to read. |
| 7:53
| Does Adam think Steve is a moron? Mary said to call Adam and hilarity would ensue, but hilarity is not ensuing. Steve is stupid, but he's smart stupid. It's hard to deal with someone like him. |
| 7:54
| Adam is not helping Steve out of this. He's sitting on it, it's like he's laying an egg down there. Everybody's job is to make Steve look good! This is a topic for the after show meeting. |
| 7:55
| Steve wasn't trying to make Adam feel bad, he thought it would be funny. Steve thinks Adam is afraid of him, he doesn't need to be afraid of him. Buzz loves the kid. |
| 7:56
| Steve feels like Adam is trembling, maybe Adam is in love with Steve. Was Adam sitting on the floor during the meeting? Adam likes it on the floor, it's comfy. Buzz took Adam's corner yesterday, because he wanted to cozy up to Ed. |
| 7:57
| Peanut Butter time! Pat wants to know why he's not invited to these meetings. Steve is going to need a hundred dollars from him. Steve thinks everything Pat did yesterday was perfect. |
| 7:58
| Classic Buzz Kilman, he sidles over to Ed, who was in the back of the room, because Buzz wants a new computer and so he likes to make Ed pick it out for him, so if Buzz doesn't like it he can blame Ed and not himself. |
| 7:59
| Like the time Ed got the wrong color keyboard for Buzz. Buzz doesn't talk about it anymore, but inside he is seething. |
| 8:00
| Buzz set up quality time with Ed on Friday, they're going to talk on the phone and look at the same website and go through all the options together and make a tough decision about which computer to get. |
| 8:01
| The primary purpose of this computer is to play DVDs when he's on vacation. Why doesn't he just get a DVD player? Buzz needs a computer, too. |
| 8:02
| Jim turned on the news music in the middle of Steve's punch line. |
| 8:03
| News with Buzz |
| 8:04
| Sarah Palin defended herself last night, painting herself as a reformer and digging into Barack Obama. |
| 8:05
| Historically, Republicans have done kinky things, but Buzz has never heard of a Republic three-way. Meanwhile, protesters today will march at the Capitol who aim to contrast their anti-war status with McCain's. |
| 8:06
| McCain's senior advisor says the smearing of Sarah Palin must end, the National Enquirer ran a story about her supposed affair with her husband's business partner. Jamie Lynn Spears sent a baby present to Bristol Palin. |
| 8:07
| Steve would give it up to Levi, Briton Palin's boyfriend too. Sarah Palin's other daughter is hot too. They're good looking people. |
| 8:08
| Chicago public school students are expected to be back in class today, the reverend has ended the walkout to call the governor's bluff. |
| 8:09
| Steve would like to say, as white people, we should take credit for that. Kudos to his brothers and sisters in Wilmette for rolling out the red carpet. It was exemplary behavior. Buzz has never felt this before, this white brotherhood. |
| 8:10
| Blagojevich thinks it's bad to use kids as political pawns by urging them not to go to school. Steve thinks this is funny coming from a guy who does only that. |
| 8:11
| Oprah had a Wonder Woman-type outfit on yesterday for the Olympians. Buzz wonders when we'll get to see that. |
| 8:12
| In California, a kayaker found a decapitated lamb. A bra was wrapped around the animals midsection. The mystery thickens. No similar incidents ever been reported. Steve assumes a guy and his sheep had a bad breakup. And the guy even went to the trouble to go to Victoria's Secret. Or Mary's Secret, like Mary had a little lamb. |
| 8:14
| Yesterday Steve got Janet gas, but he didn't have his glasses on cause he'd just worked out, and he found out it won't pump more than a hundred dollars worth of gas. |
| 8:15
| Steve has convinced himself that he doesn't need glasses, but he really does. |
| 8:16
| Steve at hotels when he orders room service, even if it's just for him he says it's for three people when they ask. |
| 8:17
| She says bye to Buzz too. He got outta here right when this started. That's the beauty of Buzz, he doesn't care. |
| 8:23
| Peanut Butter time! |
| 8:24
| Sox and Cubs are both off today. Sox avoided getting swept by Cleveland yesterday. Twins lost, so Sox are up a game. |
| 8:25
| Big win yesterday. Nick Swisher and Alexei Ramirez both went yard. Bobby Jenks is being used too much. The Cubs lost again, five straight for the first time all season. The Brewers lost. |
| 8:26
| The Cubs are still four and a half games in front. You want to hit the post season in stride, you don't want to walk in coasting with a big lead. What's the story with Carlos Zambrano? |
| 8:27
| Buzz wants to know if we're blaming everything on Z's condition. In his last six starts, he's won one game. And now he's seemed to have lost his mind. He's a little off his rocker. He had his arm checked out yesterday but did not undergo the MRI. |
| 8:28
| One outlet is reporting that Zambrano turned it down because the dye they inject for the MRI causes you to miss two starts, and he knows what the problem is so he doesn't think he needs it. |
| 8:29
| Steve has never heard that. Maybe Z is used to the dye in Venezuela and he didn't know we have updated medical dye here in America. Steve doesn't think it is bad for him to go crazy. Steve thinks Harden is toast. |
| 8:30
| Peanut says the Cubs knew that about Harden going in. He says he can pitch right now, Lou says that's not the case. Lou told the reporters to talk to him themselves during the press conference. He assures them he's serious. Steve says Jim should be happy, Lou is the greatest manager ever. |
| 8:31
| Peanut says you want to lose the madness, the 100 year draught, but it's hard with two starters hurt. Steve says the Cubs will go all the way. |
| 8:32
| Tommy Harris was back on the practice field yesterday, he says he thinks he'll play Sunday. He was Urlacher-esque, giving us five word answers. |
| 8:33
| Lions running back Rudy Johnson, who was just signed by the team this week, had his luggage swiped by Bell, the teammate waived to make room for Johnson. He swiped his Gucci bag. Bell says it was a mistake. Steve understands, the black football players all have Gucci bags. |
| 8:34
| There's a picture of Hester with his car with the LV logo painted on. Anyway, a woman returned the bag to headquarters later in the day, but it was missing his cash and credit cards. The incident was all caught on tape. |
| 8:35
| Good luck to that guy now latching on to another team. What's this video we have here of you swiping a Gucci bag? |
| 8:36
| What's going on today? Nothing. They're gearing up for Sunday. Steve can't tune in at midnight, he's got to go to bed. He likes the show though. |
| 8:37
| Last night Steve decided his satellite clock was wrong and his watch was right, so he changed his alarm clock, he thought he wasn't notified about falling back. However there was no falling back so Steve woke up at 2:30. He still didn't catch on when his coffee wasn't made, he figured it was pre-programmed by the Japanese people. Then he gets in his car and he hears WBBM AM say it was 3:23 AM, and he thought, I don't even wake up until 3:30! |
| 8:38
| Buzz is amazed he got that far. He figured Steve would call WBBM and tell them they were wrong! |
| 8:39
| The NFL season kicks off tonight, Keith Urban is playing at the kick-off in Times Square. He's nailing Nicole Kidman. Now Pat is intrigued. Steve likes a lot of country, as it turns out. |
| 8:44
| Caller Jennifer is calling to correct Steve, he said that Keith Urban was nailing Nicole Richie and it's actually Nicole Kidman. Buzz is so glad, he thought he had his celebrity ducks in a row, and he fell on the floor crying when he thought he had it wrong. |
| 8:45
| Buzz took time to note while looking through pictures of Keith Urban that he is a good looking guy. Steve add that he's also a good guitar player. Buzz personally thanks Jennifer for correcting it. |
| 8:46
| The web poll yesterday was Have you ever stolen anything from work? Buzz was going to tell us what he stole, wasn't he? Buzz doesn't remember that. He's sure he has. |
| 8:47
| Today's web poll is, Would you wear pajamas in public? |
| 8:48
| The pajama catalogue arrived last night at the Kilman's. He likes looking at the ladies in pajamas, and occasionally if he seems something he likes he'll get it for Amy. Steve wants to know if he's supposed to share this. |
| 8:49
| Buzz wants to know if any guys actually wear pajamas. You might as well just wear your clothes to bed! |
| 8:50
| Fashion shows are debuting pajama-inspired clothes that are meant to be worn in public. Steve used to wear pajama tops as his shirt. Buzz didn't get that till the very end. Steve is a trendsetter. Now, Tommy Bahama, look at all the aloha shirts they're selling! Steve is roughly 30 years ahead of the fashion curve. |
| 8:51
| Steve thinks he wore corduroy Levis and pajama tops, he's sure there are plenty of pictures of him like that. Steve would have to say yes, he would, and he will again. Buzz might consider it. Steve bets a designer was at a breakfast club, and stole the idea from him. |
| 8:52
| Steve is going to tell a gross and funny story about himself. Yesterday, he went out for his run, and for some reason he must have picked up a little bug and he developed some lower gastrointestinal discomfort. He thought it was under control before he left. About the half-hour mark, he could go home. |
| 8:53
| That's the point at which he's closest to home. He didn't though, he decided to press on. He got to the point where he had to call to get picked up. However by the time he would get someone there, it would be too late. So he goes to a park where they have a port-a-potty, which he does not like. But he had no choice. |
| 8:54
| There are two hot moms with their kids at the playground right next to the port-a-potty. They're literally 15 feet away from it, and he knows what it's going to sound like: a rocket launching. The acoustics don't help, plus, there are vents like speakers on top of it to make sure the noise is spread all over. |
| 8:55
| Steve kept his headphones in, as if that's going to help. He still knows what's going on, he's in the eye of the storm. So this happens, and it's got to be horrendous. And he's embarrassed to come out because the moms are out there. |
| 8:56
| He keeps his headphones in. As he's going out, he realizes there is no toilet paper because these vandals that Janet had told him about while he was tuning her out had burned it. He realizes he should have paid attention, as it ended up greatly affecting him. |
| 8:57
| He sat there for 15 minutes and waited to come out, and the hot moms and the kids were still there! How long do kids need to stay on the slide!? He averted his eyes, covered his head and ran. It was the most Godawful thing. |
| 8:58
| And it's in an echo chamber! With speakers! Who puts a port-a-potty ten feet from the slide? It's a five acre park! The eruption went on for what literally seemed like five minutes. |
| 8:59
| This is going to be bad for his image, that's his neighborhood. He has a fairly distinctive profile. And that spreads through the PTA like wildfire. They're on the mom calling tree right now. While Janet was telling him this, he was thinking, what do I care? |
| 9:00
| Turns out he cares a lot! There was a pile of ashes on the floor where the toilet paper should have been. |
| 9:01
| Steve started worrying about a creature being in there. Buzz points out that does happen on occasion. Or a dude! There could be a dude in there, just because he wants to be! nah, the forest preserves are really the place to be for those guys. We'll leave you on that uplifting note. |
