Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I’m reinstituting Hump Day on Wednesday. I’m not really sure what that will entail, but I’m thinking that we should focus more on sex. I’m thinking about a dating game, which doesn’t necessarily lead to sex, but possibly could. I suppose we could read some nasty listings from Craigslist, but I don’t want to taint Free Stuff on Craigslist Tuesday (taint, I’m doing it already). Maybe we’ll have a dirty web poll (poll, ha!) or take some phone calls about the weirdest place you’ve ever done it. I don’t know. This might be the sort of stuff that seems like a good idea when I’m blogging it, but seems less like of a good idea at 5:00 a.m. the next day.

What I really don’t need is to find out anything sexual about Chef Hans. He seemed like he was working Stephanie at the Blackhawks game on Sunday night. Hey, Chef, she was with me! I call that cheese blocking. Stephanie and I are not really dating, since my wife would frown on that, but we did have a nice time at the hockey game. We touched butts the whole time (the seats are close), but it was a healthy father/daughter butt touching. Oh, wait, that’s not very healthy. Never mind. I also don’t want to think about Bob and Ron having sex--either alone, with each other, or with a third party. All three gentlemen will be on the show Wednesday.

It will be Hump Day, so celebrate it however you like. It’s supposed to be metaphorical anyway. You know, Wednesday being the “hump” of the week and it’s all downhill into the weekend from there. I wonder if they celebrate Hump Day in Iraq. They have a lot of camels, but I don’t think that they are allowed to have sex with them. In fact, I’m not even sure if they are even allowed to have sex with the women there. By they, I mean the Iraqi men, but I bet the soldiers don’t have much luck with the locals either. Imagine being in a war that doesn’t feature any houses of prostitution. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan suck just for that. I guess it’s a good thing that there are girls in the military.

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