Thursday, March 13, 2008

I will be at the Blackhawks game on Wednesday night, so I will miss the Law and Order with the Amy Jacobson-esque character (played by Lara Flynn Boyle) who hangs out at the pool party of a guy with a missing wife. What ever happened to Craig Stebic? People are starting to lose interest in Drew Peterson, so Craig Stebic has to really be off of the radar. If I were Drew Peterson, I’d invite Amy Jacobson over for a pool party just as soon as I got my above ground pool up and running for the season (that blue barrel is for the chlorine, honey). That’s one sure-fire way to get yourself back in the media spotlight. Either that or hire a high-priced call girl.

I got my season tickets from the White Sox today and they threw in an A.J. Pierzynski bobble head doll as a little thank you gift. That’s very nice of them and all, but A.J.’s little arm with his little catcher’s mitt is broken off. I hope that’s not some sort of omen of a bad season or an injury to A.J. Pierzynski. Last year after Jim Thome’s 500th home run, the Sox sent me a Jim Thome bobble head doll with a broken batting arm. The season was already pretty much over at that point, but Jim Thome seems healthy. I can’t wait for baseball season and weather like we’ve been having the last few days makes me hornier than a New York governor.

I still haven’t made up my mind about the St. Baldrick’s head shave for St. Patrick’s Day. The computer forecast of what I will look like has me resembling a big toe wearing headphones. I’m not sure if I’m secure enough to pull that look off. Plus, me complaining and whining about how I look for six weeks probably won’t be that inspirational to little kids with cancer, or anybody else for that matter. I’m a complainer even on a good day, and that’s when there’s nothing wrong. I feel that I would be put to shame by the bravery of people who are really sick. I think I’d rather just donate some money and feel like a hero than be the fat bald complaining guy. Besides, I’m already two out of three.