Friday, June 13, 2008

It’s not “If you don’t see the mole, it’s not his pole,” the phrase I was hoping for, but it’s close. R. Kelly’s attorney, Sam Adams Jr. said, “If the truth be told, there is no mole.” I suppose you can’t use the word pole in open court, but rhyming told and mole seems like a bit of a stretch to me. I like what he was trying to do, but he didn’t have the guts to say “toll” instead of “told” in an “oh no you didn’t" type of voice. Maybe he did, but it doesn’t seem like it. I’ll have to ask Brendan tomorrow morning as he recaps Thursday’s closing arguments. I think with fourteen witnesses putting that girl in the video, I’d pack a toothbrush if I were R. Kelly.

I keep hearing that United Airlines is joining American Airlines and charging passengers for their “first checked bag.” Does that mean that the second one is free? “First checked bag” seems fairly imprecise. Also, don’t they know that anybody who can’t or won’t pay the $15 will just haul their gigantic bag onto the aircraft? U.S. Airways is going to start charging for soda pop. That’s low. One of the best perks of being sober is free soda pop on all flights. I will have to keep an eye on this situation and see what develops. I will not pay for soda pop on any domestic or international flight. This upsets me more than the $15 per bag check-in fee.

I was thinking that it was probably a day just like the one we had on Thursday where the temperature hit 90 degrees, and then maybe Mother Nature let go with a tornado or two, that inspired L. Frank Baum to write The Wizard of Oz. That, and a few fifths of gin. It’s a pretty bizarre story. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to need some chemical help to put midgets, ruby slippers, and a talking scarecrow down onto a piece of paper. Actually, I’m surprised that he could even write it. Maybe he just took notes and filled in the blanks when he sobered up. Now that I think about it, with all of those poppy field references he was probably on opium or smack.