Best of Steve's Web Log - June 23, 2008

Originally Posted: February 15, 2007

The name Howard Stern sure is in the news a lot these days with the death of Anna Nicole Smith and now a pending engagement. Obviously its two different people, but I like to pretend it’s just Howard Stern the broadcaster. It got a little more complicated and a lot more fun when satellite’s Howard Stern announced his engagement on Valentine’s Day.

All you have to do is leave the middle initial out. It’s easy, disrespectful, and weird.  I call it “Howard Stern is on First.” The following is an example of how it’s played. Start with thinking that Howard Stern is wearing a DJ fright wig when he talks about radio and any time he is in New York City. That explains his “ugly New York look”.

I can’t believe that Howard Stern has the temerity to propose marriage to another woman. He did it less than a week after the woman he recently had a commitment ceremony with on a boat in the Bahamas died under mysterious circumstances in a Florida hotel room. Is it called the Seminole Hard Rock because of the Indians or the body fluids?

First Howard Stern was in the news for being the father of Anna Nicole’s baby. He was demanding custody of the baby. Now Howard Stern is up in New York getting engaged to some skinny little blonde model that doesn’t even look like Anna Nicole Smith. According to my calculations, Howard Stern has gone down about 50 bra sizes in one week.

I think it’s because Howard Stern can’t get any publicity for saying filthy, nasty, or crazed things on satellite radio. I guess it’s not very shocking to say stuff like that when it’s okay to say stuff like that. And why would he need that baby’s money? He’s got enough of his own from that satellite radio deal. That was for more than half a billion dollars.

He doesn’t even mention the baby anymore, just the new engagement. I have also read reports that Howard Stern is in seclusion at his house in the Bahamas. Does he broadcast his show from down there? Why did he go all the way up to NYC to get engaged? Why couldn’t Howard Stern wait for at least 30 days after Anna died to officially move on?

What will it say on the back of Howard Stern’s new boat? Howard’s Stern? Will he tattoo his fiancé’s rear the same way? Did Anna have a similar tattoo or marking? He can’t be Sirius about all of this can he? That Howard Stern is everywhere and yet very hard to pin down. I wonder where Howard Stern finds the time to get all of this done.