Thursday, July 24, 2008

Drew Peterson and Joel Brodsky are doing some of their best work ever regarding these new allegations in the Sun Times brought about by the so-called taping of Drew by his so-called friends. Drew hasn’t actually said that they are now former friends, but I was sort of thinking that they must be. I know that they would be former friends of mine at this point. A guy can’t even have a loser Bolingbrook couple over for cocktails without having to watch every freaking word that he says these days. If any of it really happened, my money is on the part where Drew hits up on the wife. I bet that happens all the time. Drew just can’t help himself.

Speaking of hitting on chicks, I think Ozzie Guillen got kicked out of the Sox game on Wednesday because he didn’t like the way the home plate umpire was fixing his hair in between batters, just generally preening and scoping women in the stands. That’s what the players are supposed to be doing. Ozzie said he was “protecting his players” and not arguing balls and strikes, which is grounds for immediate ejection. I believe him; that particular ump is just up from the minor leagues and doesn’t know how things work in the big leagues. Keep your mask and cap on, and when you take them off, stare longingly at the statue of Harold Baines out in left center field.

Also on the hot chick watch: I have found out that I will not be able to attend Chicago’s big Playpen party on Lake Michigan on August 2nd. I will be in Detroit celebrating my father-in-law’s birthday. I am pretty sure that I could talk him into coming to Chicago and doing a little “boating” with me, but I don’t think the rest his family would appreciate it. Maybe his sons and grandsons would approve, but the girls in the family definitely would not. It is a family basically run by women for women, so I really don’t have a shot at it. It’s just as well, though. I don’t have a full cabin on my boat, just a cuddy cabin, which is basically a bathroom you have to kneel in to go pee. Not a real lady-catcher.