Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I am writing this blog on Monday afternoon, and as of this writing both the Cubs and the Sox are in first place and heading into key divisional matchups this week. The Cubs of course, will be in Milwaukee, and the White Sox are playing the Twins up in Minnesota. I am still hoping for a crosstown World Series and I know that the odds are long for something like that, but that’s just the way I feel. I don’t know too many Cubs fans that care about the White Sox losing, but I do know a lot of White Sox fans who are hoping for the Brewers to knock the Cubs out of first place. Let me just remind you that you are rooting for Wisconsin.

The last time I checked, we don’t root for Wisconsin things around here. Maybe I missed the memo and we’re now Packers fans too. I like Wisconsin for driving through as much as the next guy, and Lake Geneva is great because it’s really just a bunch of people from Chicago, but people in Wisconsin have sex with their livestock on a regular basis. I know that we probably abuse some of our Illinois farm animals too, but they do it in Wisconsin on a regular basis. I Googled “cow sex Wisconsin”, and there’s not as much cow sex on record as I thought. I was reminded that they have sex with human corpses, deer and picnic tables, however. Since I’ve made my point on Wisconsin, let me address those Cubs fans amongst you who think they want to see the Sox lose to the Minnesota Twins. Are you actually serious about that? The Twins play indoors all summer long on plastic grass. The residents of Minnesota are all a bunch of towheaded geeks. They have a roll of garbage bags for an outfield fence at the Metrodome and they’re happy with it. I have relatives in Minnesota. I know what goes on up there. I won’t say it’s sex with a walleye, but it’s pretty darned close. Those north woods are rife with odd sexual behavior, and as for the Twin Cities, they have Prince, and I don’t mean Fielder.