Friday, August 1, 2008

I went to Best Buy and got myself a radar detector for my road trip to Detroit this weekend. Over the years, I have probably spent several thousand dollars on basically the same radar detector. It’s usually an Escort, because I think that’s the only brand they sell. I haven’t spent as much on Escorts as former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer. I don’t get a new one because I feel the technology is outdated; it’s just that I can’t ever find all of the pieces. Sometimes it’s my fault, but most of the time I loan them to the boys and I never get them back in one piece.

I’m always missing a power cord and a suction cup, so it’s easier just to buy a new one. This time I got the 9500i. It was the best one they had at Best Buy, but when I got home I looked up the 9500i on the Escort web site only to discover that they have a newer model, the 9500ix. As you can imagine, that pissed me off. Upon further examination, I have discovered that the only difference between the 9500i and the 9500ix is the fact that the 9500ix has a database of speed cameras, speed traps and red light cameras. I guess I would like that but I won’t have it this weekend. I will deal with that on Monday.

I’m not planning on breaking any land speed records on the way to Detroit, but I like to get there in an efficient manner. Over the years, radar detectors have done right by me on long road trips. It also lulls my wife into a state of false serenity with regard to my speeding. She will rarely look up from her magazine and often nod off for hours at a time. That’s when I like to really put the car through its paces. If I put the 9500i on mute and pay attention, I can navigate in and out of detection without even waking her. That’s a win-win. Even after 30 years, I still don’t like to be told how to drive, and according to her, I still don’t have a clue.